


I Need You So Much Closer

by LilyShadowWriter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Season 7 fix-it, Slow Burn, Very Minor Allurance (for resolution purposes), klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-06-27 14:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15687042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyShadowWriter/pseuds/LilyShadowWriter
Summary: "Keith was the sun-brightened moon and Lance was the ocean sighing into his pull. Nothing compared to how good it felt when their jagged pieces fell into place. He was happy to fall so long as it felt like that, but they were constantly jostled, bent, pushed, and broken. Falling was harder when there was nothing to catch you. Lance was tired of hitting the ground."~The Castle of Lions is destroyed and the only place that holds the key to rebuilding is as far as it is close to their hearts. This story picks up after S07;EP01 and should be interpreted as a "fix-it" variation of Season 7, detailing The Paladin's turbulent journey back to Earth and the unexpected tribulations they face when they return.





	1. Undertow

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone and welcome to my story! This is my first time writing for the Voltron fandom and initially I was hesitant to begin sharing this, but after recent events, I decided I needed to.
> 
> This won't be an exact rewrite of Season 7, but it will include a decent share of the content as its an alternate "fix-it" version of what Season 7 came to be. Because that's the beauty of fanfiction- we can shape our own realities.
> 
> I hope that you'll enjoy this story and I hope that it brings comfort to others as it's brought comfort to myself. Thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this and please don't hesitate to leave a comment and interact!
> 
> Also, some final tiny notes. First, this story changes POV and second, I headcanoned that Keith's space wolf could transfer images and emotions to people's heads to communicate, so I decided to keep that here even after watching Season 7.
> 
> Anyway, happy reading and thank you again for giving this fic a chance!

_The ocean swelled, hummed, and sighed beneath the inky moonlit sky. Lance slid his tongue out and tasted the salt on his lips, breathed in the sea and held it close. His heart soared, toes sinking into the sand as he launched into a full-out run. He let loose a whoop of laughter, the sound lifting into the mist and spreading outward like wings._

_Home._

_He could smell it._

_He could taste it._

_Exhilaration sped his steps, but they faltered as he felt it—dread, like a needle through his lungs. It was only then he noticed the flickering light, the shimmery air, the acrid scent of smoke._

_No._

_“Mamá!” he screamed, losing his footing on the sand. “Pa! Marco! Rachel! Luis! Veronica!” The names continued to tear from his throat as his eyes grew hot with tears, every syllable crashing against his own panicked sobs._

_“Lance!”_

_He froze. A woman stood in the doorway of his home. Lines creased her face, growing ever more pronounced as a sad smile curved her lips. Familiar deep blue eyes stared right back at him._

_“Abuelita!”_

_The orange flames consumed her._

Lance woke with a strangled shout caught in his throat, his face wet with tears and his heart knocking into his ribs as if in a bid for escape. He clapped a hand over his mouth, struggling to contain the sobs that tried to push past his lips. It was only a dream. Earth was an unfathomable distance away.

He inhaled slowly through his nose. The night was silent save for the strange, whistling wind that breathed across the craggy surface of this planet. It was the sound he had fallen asleep to—that and the soft snores of his friends as they drifted off one by one. All that remained of the campfire they’d gathered around was charred wood and a few weakly glowing embers.

Hunk was passed out by his feet, splayed out on his side and with an electronic device lying dormant in his hand. Pidge’s fuzzy head was visible by Hunk’s knees, asleep and curled up small. She had forgotten to take her glasses off and they laid crooked on her face. Shiro, the only one in a chair, was seated next to her, his head leaned back and his mouth slightly open as he dreamed.

Keith slept directly across from Lance, his back to the fire and his face hidden from view. Even in sleep the Black Paladin’s shoulders were taut, his legs bent in a way that suggested he was ready to jump to his feet at any moment. Lance watched him for a few ticks longer, but when it became apparent he wasn’t going to wake he shifted his gaze to Romelle. She was sleeping on her back and hugging an empty silver tray—all that was left of the sweets Hunk had made them. On Lance’s right, Allura was curled into a ball, her head resting serenely on her hands. It seemed that only Coran and Krolia had enough sense to return to the relative warmth of the Lions. Even Allura’s mice were outside, burrowed within her soft, silvery hair. Or at least, it looked soft—like gossamer spun from moonlight.

Lance felt his face warm at the silly thought and lowered his hand from his mouth, but nearly shouted again when something cold and wet touched his ear. He whipped around, only to find Keith’s space wolf shuffling nearer on his paws, his ears down and a concerned whine in his throat. Lance surveyed him warily and then glanced back at Keith, but the guy was still fast asleep. Lance turned back to the wolf, who pushed his snout into his palm until he finally reached up and twined his fingers in the ebon fur. A warm reassurance brushed against his consciousness. Lance winced, but then gradually relaxed into the psychic embrace.

The first time Keith’s wolf had done this to him he’d nearly leapt out of his skin and Keith, after a stunned tick of surprise, erupted into such ridiculous and prolonged laughter that Lance had shoved him into a ditch. They’d bickered for the rest of the day after that, a scrape on Keith’s cheek and embarrassment burning off Lance’s skin in waves, but it’d felt worth it—even after Shiro snapped at them to knock it off.

Something like disapproval touched Lance’s mind and he hid a smile. “Served him right,” he mumbled without heat. Amusement danced across his mind and then Keith’s wolf arranged himself beside him, resting his chin on his hip and looking up at Lance with golden yellow eyes. He still wasn’t sure what the wolf’s name was. Keith had never offered it and in the chaos that followed his return, no one had the thought or chance to ask.

Lance wondered now as he gave the cosmic wolf a scratch behind the ear. He was warm, his fluffy tail wagging encouragingly. Lance laid back down and pushed his face into his fur. Memories of a stretch of beach, of flames and fear began to intrude on his thoughts, but images of nebulae soon pushed these thoughts away. Instead of flinching, Lance held onto them and lost himself within the soothing swirls of color.

~*~

Keith paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth, watching with narrowed eyes as Lance crept up on Princess Allura’s left and then tapped her right shoulder. Predictably, she turned toward the touch, confusion knitting her brows until Lance’s crack of laughter pierced the clearing.

He scowled. It didn’t make any sense. How could Lance be plagued by horrible nightmares and then wake up like he’d just leapt into the starring role of a musical? Wouldn’t he at least be tired? Keith shoved the spoonful of some sort of porridge into his mouth. It tasted gritty and vaguely sweet, like a stamp. Damn, what he wouldn’t do for a couple of fried eggs, fluffy pancakes, and a heaping pile of bacon—the greasier, the better.

Lance let out another shriek of laughter, this time running away and wearing what looked to be Pidge’s glasses. An angry shout and a small green figure chasing after him confirmed this. Keith shook his head, spooning more food into his mouth. Lance may not have been tired, but Keith sure as fuck was, and admittedly cranky that he’d been woken in the middle of the night by Lance’s shouts.

Not that he wasn’t concerned. Keith had even contemplated seeing if everything was alright, but then he’d realized he had no idea what to say without potentially making shit worse, so he’d shut his eyes tighter and sent his wolf instead.

He was a shit friend, and even shittier with words.

“Sleep well?”

“Shiro!” Keith exclaimed, looking up. “How’re you feeling?”

“A little better every day,” Shiro answered, taking a seat beside him. He sounded like it—his voice a little stronger and a smile on his face. He even looked a little younger, despite the snow-white hair. “You sleep well?”

Keith shrugged. “Kind of. Wind kept me up.” The lie left his tongue effortlessly. It was up to Lance to decide whether he wanted to talk about his nightmares. Keith shouldn’t have known he was having them in the first place—it felt like an invasion of privacy.

“The wind, huh?” Shiro asked in a way that suggested he felt there was more to be said.

“Yup,” he answered stubbornly. Shiro sighed. Keith glanced at him and then looked back at his food. It was beginning to congeal into a thick, gummy paste. He wondered if there was a kind way to tell Coran to leave the cooking to Hunk. He licked his lips and then added, “I uh, was thinking we should split into groups today. We’ll cover more ground that way and get things done quicker so we can be on our way.” Earth was still a long, long journey away.

Shiro stretched out his legs before him, nodding vaguely. “Suppose I’ll be with the group that stays in camp, right?” he asked with a slight smile.

Keith flushed. “I—well….”

“It’s okay,” he said with an easy smile. “Realized after I got winded carrying some firewood that I should take it easy.”

Keith could not have agreed more. After all, it had only been a few quintants ago that they thought the clone’s body wouldn’t accept Shiro’s consciousness at all. It’d been touch and go for far too long, and there was a moment when all had seemed lost before Shiro finally came back to them. Keith didn’t know what he would have done if he hadn’t.

“Keith?”

“Huh?”

Shiro arched an eyebrow and then patiently repeated, “I said, maybe take Lance with you. You two could work on finding that water source that’s supposed to be around here.”

“Uh….”

“Is that okay?”

Was it? Keith wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act natural around him when he’d heard him crying only a few vargas ago. Not to mention Lance had been acting strange around him ever since he returned. It hadn’t seemed like it at first. Lance had launched right into cracking jokes and regaling Keith with tales of what he’d missed, but as time went on, their relationship had soured. Keith wasn’t even sure what happened. All he knew was that they were falling back into their old ways and that every argument left them feeling more frustrated than the last. Another reason Keith hadn’t gone to Lance’s side last night. He wasn’t sure he would have been welcomed.

“I don’t know,” he finally said, hunching his shoulders. “We haven’t exactly been….”

“Getting along. I know,” Shiro interjected gently. “That’s why I think it’s a good idea for the two of you to pair up. Working together toward a common goal builds team cohesion.”

Keith ground his teeth. He knew Shiro was right, but at the same time he couldn’t rid himself of the worry that this would only further corrode their friendship. It was bad enough that it was cracked. It made him feel oddly lonely, even when surrounded by people. Perhaps for that fact alone though, it was worth it to a least try.  “Alright,” he agreed somewhat stiffly.

Shiro smiled and then gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. “You’ve got this, Keith. Just talk to him. It’ll be alright.”

~*~

“Wait, why do I have to go with you?” Lance loudly complained. “Why not Hunk and Pidge?”

The group grew still, exchanging looks of bewildered confusion that had Lance’s skin warming with embarrassment. Keith stood stock still, a slight tick in his jaw, but otherwise seemingly rendered silent by Lance’s outburst. Shiro glanced at him warily and then turned to Lance, his expression a mix of surprise and disappointment as he asked, “What’s wrong with teaming up with Keith?”

Lance felt his stomach twist. “Nothing! It’s just…studying the plant life sounds a lot more fun.” He flushed. Nothing sounded more boring.

“I thought you loved water,” Allura said, looking genuinely confused. She was standing next to Romelle, who was turning so quickly to look from speaker to speaker that her long pigtails kept accidentally hitting Allura in the face.

“I do, but—” Lance faltered, shifting on his feet. He didn’t know what to say. How could he explain how weird he felt around Keith nowadays? How could he explain that he felt like an invisible rift had formed between them that he’d tried and failed to bridge? How could he explain that he felt like Keith didn’t even like him much anymore, and that the only reason he kept on civil terms with Lance was for the good of the team? All that coupled with the fact he hadn’t slept well? Lance felt nothing good could come from this.

“I could go with him instead,” Krolia calmly interjected, “though I think my skills would be put to better use assisting Coran with the Lions.”

“Rightly so!” Coran chipped in, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “But ah, if Lance is unable to—”

“I’m able!” Lance cut in, hating that everyone was staring at him like he was a petulant child. “It’s fine. It was just a preference, you know? Scouting for water’s fine. We’re a team, right Keith? When I say ‘Vol’ you say ‘Tron!’ Vol!”

“What?” Keith asked blankly.

Lance smacked his forehead with his palm. You’d think after all this time…. “Never mind. Let’s just go.” He jammed his helmet on his head and set off in a random direction, face still burning as he felt everyone’s questioning gazes. Hurried footsteps came up on his left.

“We’re supposed to be headed West,” Keith said by his ear.

Lance froze, newly embarrassed, and then gestured vaguely before him. “Right, well, lead the way, Mullet.”

~*~

Keith’s face felt like it had settled into a permanent scowl. Lance had barely said a word since they set off unless it was directly related to the task at hand, asking twice if they were on course and then making an off-hand comment on the increased presence of plant-life, which could indicate they were getting close. Keith doubted it but said nothing. He sincerely felt that the organisms here simply subsided off the rocks and dusty air. As it was, the vegetation was thin and woody, with sparse maroon leaves and so many thorns that if they hadn’t worn their armor, their legs would surely have been cut to shreds.

It was a miserable little planet, but somehow still suited for life, which was more than could be said for most of the celestial bodies they came across. Keith licked his lips. They were beginning to get as cracked and dry as the dirt beneath their boots.

“It’s cold,” Lance said, and glanced up at the sky, where a thick mass of purple and orange clouds hid even the suggestion of a sky beyond them.

“Yeah.”

Alright, so, maybe the uncomfortable silence wasn’t entirely Lance’s fault, but every time Keith opened his mouth to try and say something more, the words tripped on the tip of his tongue and rendered him mute once more. Guilt pooled into his stomach. Shiro was counting on him to talk to Lance and he didn’t have the words. He didn’t even know what made it difficult to speak. Maybe because, for once, Lance wasn’t carrying the conversation. It was up to him to try—up to him to say something, anything, to break this maddening silence.

“What the hell is your problem?”

_Oh no, Keith._

Lance halted in his steps, his face hidden from sight. “My problem?” he asked, his voice strained.

 _Fuck_.

This was not what Keith wanted, but he was too frustrated and too tired to find the right words, so instead he snapped, “Yes, your problem, or did you forget that you whined like a fucking 5-year-old when I said we’d be teamed up today?”

 “Yeah, and clearly I had no reason to do that….”

“You don’t though! I haven’t done anything to you!”

“Neither have I!” Lance exclaimed, finally turning to face him. His cheeks were red, deep blue eyes overly bright. “I’m trying to focus on the mission. You’re the one who started yelling at me!”

“I’m not yelling!”

Lance let out a growl of frustration and stalked off, his footsteps rapidly gaining speed as he headed down a steep hill.

Keith felt renewed guilt flood his stomach as he hurried after him. “Wait, Lance. That’s not what I wanted to say. It came out all wrong.”

“Oh yeah? Well then what did you want to say?” Lance tossed back over his shoulder.

“I don’t know! I just—WATCH OUT!”

Lance tripped over uneven ground, the color draining from his face as he pitched forward and began to tumble down the rocky slope. He shouted, and Keith felt adrenaline slam into him like a speeding truck as he realized Lance was headed straight for a dark ravine cracking open the land.

“GRAB SOMETHING! ANYTHING!” Keith screamed, struggling to maintain his own footing as he hurried down to catch him. Lance scrambled, trying desperately to dig his heels or his fingers into the dirt, but the earth was too hard, the slope too steep. Lance gave a yelp of pain as his shoulder slammed into a rock.

Keith’s heart hammered madly. He stumbled, caught his balance— “LANCE!”

“KEITH!” Lance shrieked, and then disappeared over the edge.

Keith choked and fell, the air rushing out of him as his limbs hit the ground. His vision blurred, eyes stinging with tears. “No, no, please, no!” He stretched to grasp the ridge, pulling himself forward to look into the ravine.

“Lance!” he gasped in relief. The brunet was about thirty feet down, holding onto a gnarled root with one hand as his body dangled into open space. He was breathing in a shallow, panicky way that Keith had never heard and never wanted to hear again.

“M-my…my jetpack isn’t working,” Lance called up shakily. “I think it got damaged in the fall.”

“Okay,” Keith said, fighting to focus amidst the blind haze of fear. “I’ll use mine to fly down to you and get us both out.” He activated the twin jets, floating up into the air a moment before lowering into the ravine. Lance had his eyes shut tightly, his arm shaking from the strain of supporting his whole weight. “I’m going to put your free arm around my shoulder, okay?” Keith asked as he came up behind him.

“Okay,” Lance echoed, eyes still closed. “I uh…think it might be dislocated though. Maybe.”

Keith worried his lip. Lance’s arm was in fact hanging unnaturally at his side. “I’ll be careful,” he promised. Lance nodded, and Keith came up under his shoulder as gingerly as he could, but the brunet still let out a muffled cry as he looped his arm around his neck. Keith mumbled an apology and wrapped his arms securely around Lance’s waist. Wet tears shone on his brown face. Keith wanted to wipe them away, but their helmets were in the way and this was neither the time nor place.

“I hear water,” Lance whispered. “Down below us.”

“Me too, but I think we can get to a little later, yeah?”

He let out a watery laugh, nodding. “Please.”

“Let go,” Keith said softly.

Lance did, and they both yelled as their combined weight made them drop several feet before Keith managed to stabilize them again. The jetpack stuttered, struggling to kick in, but soon they were floating upward and out of the cavernous ravine. Keith’s heart was still galloping in his chest, sweat beading on his face and neck. The visor of his helmet was fogged up. Even through their paladin armor, Keith could feel Lance’s heat. It was a comforting reminder that he was still alive.

The dusty wind whistled past their skin as they reached open air. Keith never thought he would be grateful for it as he flew them up the slope. The jetpack began to overheat and made an ominous, sputtering noise, so he landed, hoping they were far enough up that they wouldn’t tumble down again. Lance was still breathing heavily, and his face paled anew when Keith removed his arm from around his neck.

“Sorry,” he hastened to say.

“It’s…it’s okay.”

“Lance?”

“Mm?”

“Are you okay?”

Lance gave a breathy laugh, his smile forced. “My uh…my head hurts. I hit it. On the way down. And...I think my ankle might be twisted?”

“Oh, is that all?”

“I was surprised too.”

They exchanged looks, and the two shared a quiet laugh, but Lance’s comment about his head hurting gnawed at Keith’s nerves. “I’m going to take your helmet off, okay? To check your head?”

“Okay.”

Keith reached out and Lance closed his eyes, wincing as the helmet slid up and off his head. He half expected to see Lance’s hair matted with blood, but it seemed the helmet had at least somewhat done its job as he couldn’t see any damage. He did, however, note that Lance flinched when he grazed his fingers across the upper back of his head. The area was swollen, and Lance seemed a little dazed, but it didn’t seem worse than that. He hoped it wasn’t worse than that.

Keith pulled back, activating the full range of their communication system. “Shiro? Coran? Allura? Anyone?”

“Hey! Are you two okay?” Shiro. Keith breathed out in relief.

“Yeah, but—Lance is injured. He hit his head pretty bad. We need a pick-up.”

Shiro didn’t waste any time asking questions. “Got it. Allura’s on her way back now. She should be close. I’ll have her fly the Blue Lion out to you two as soon as she returns.”

“Thanks, Shiro.”

“Hang in there.”

Keith flushed a little at the knowing sympathy in Shiro’s voice and took off his helmet, breathing deep. “They’re on their way,” he said.

“I’m…dizzy,” Lance mumbled, swaying ominously. Keith paled and scooted closer, moving into a crisscrossed seated position behind him.

“Just lay down, okay?” Keith asked, placing his hands lightly on Lance’s shoulders. It was perhaps a testament to how awful Lance was feeling that he didn’t make any smart remarks about laying in Keith’s lap. Instead, he slid down and gingerly leaned back on Keith’s legs, his gaze tipped toward the sky. “Better?”

“Mm.”

Keith took that as confirmation, pulling in another unsteady breath. He was just beginning to feel nervous about Lance falling asleep when the brunet said, “You cried…when you thought I fell into the ravine.”

“You did fall into the ravine,” Keith growled, and a smile briefly crossed Lance’s lips.

“I meant all the way—like _splat_ ,” Lance clarified, and then frowned a little when Keith flinched. “I’ve never seen you cry.”

“Yeah, well, it better not happen ever again.”

“Are you threatening me not to die?”

Keith emitted a small laugh. “Something like that.”

Lance smiled. “You do care.”

 _Of course I care_ , Keith thought in frustration, but kept his words to himself. He didn’t know where any of this was coming from. Why the hell would Lance think he didn’t care? Why was he pulling away so much? Why were things so fucking awkward between them when they used to be so easy?

Keith missed it. He missed Lance’s jokes, their light-hearted bickering, their silly contests—the way they’d learned to work with one another as a single unit. Had he damaged something by leaving? Maybe he’d taken it for granted that things would click back in place when he returned. Or maybe it was his fault. Maybe he’d been acting differently toward Lance without realizing it, but he wasn’t sure why. Keith didn’t know how to fix it. He really wanted to fix it.

“Lance?” There was no response. His breaths were soft and even. “Lance!” he repeated sharply. “Hey, wake up!” Keith reached out to touch Lance’s hair, and the brunet startled awake, looking up at him in surprise. Lance’s eyes were the deepest shade of blue he’d ever seen. Keith tried not to notice this. He failed every time.

“Hey,” Keith said again, a little gentler. “I don’t think your head injury is that bad, so it’s probably safe for you to sleep, but I don’t know that for sure, so I need you to stay with me, okay? Allura will be here soon.”

“Okay,” Lance mumbled. He still looked taken off-guard by Keith’s touch. The Black Paladin hesitated, and then tentatively ran his fingers through Lance’s hair. At the very least, the unexpectedness of it seemed to keep him awake.

“Am I uh…hurting you?”

“No,” he answered quietly.

“Okay.” Keith pulled in his lower lip with his teeth. Lance’s hair was soft, really—russet-brown locks damp with sweat. He thought he might have smelled coconut, but maybe Keith was imagining it because he already knew Lance’s hair and skin smelled like coconut. He knew, from cradling Lance in his arms after he’d thrown himself in the radius of an explosion protecting Coran. Keith’s chest felt tight.

“There she is,” Lance said then with a smile in his voice. Keith looked up and saw a familiar blue dot streaking toward them.

An odd mixture of relief and jealousy swirled through his chest. “There she is,” Keith echoed, and then gently pulled away.

~*~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again sincerely for reading and please let me know what you think! Chapter 2 will be just around the corner :)
> 
> Also catch me on my Voltron Tumblr @[lilywritesvld](https://lilywritesvld.tumblr.com/)!


	2. Low Tide

Lance decided that as far as his list of favorite things was concerned, being in a healing pod was probably _right_ at the bottom, next to items such as, ‘having a staring contest with a basilisk’ and ‘licking a toilet brush.’ He always woke up shivering from head to toe and with his mouth so dry it felt like someone had shoved a hunk of carpet into it.

“Water!” he croaked, stumbling forward like a mummy. “Water!”

“Here you are!” Allura’s voice sang out cheerfully. She appeared before him, her aquamarine eyes glimmering with relief as she pushed a pouch into Lance’s hands. “It’s so wonderful to see you’re up! How are you feeling?”

Lance gulped down the entire pouch in one go, water dribbling down his chin as he fought the need to breathe. He coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then sighing in pleasure. “Much better,” he announced, and then gratefully accepted the second water pouch she handed to him.

“Where’s everyone else?” he asked, noting a distinct lack of ‘Hooray, You’re Not Dead!’ celebration taking place.

“Everyone’s out on separate missions right now—although Hunk and Pidge were just here before they left to prepare some food. I volunteered to stay with you as Coran wasn’t certain when you’d wake. We’d initially surmised you’d only be in for a few vargas, but as it turned out your body needed a bit more time to recover. Perhaps not so surprising considering you had a mild concussion, some lacerations, a torn shoulder ligament, and a fractured ankle.”

“Great.”

Allura laughed softly, but then pressed her lips together, as if her own words had begun to sink in. “Are you quite sure you feel alright?” she asked, brows furrowed in concern.

Lance rolled his ankle, stretched his arms, and ran a hand over the back of his head. “Yeah,” he confirmed with an easy smile. “Good as new.” His heart skipped a quick beat as Allura folded her hands in front of her and beamed at him.

“I’m delighted to hear it!”

“Me too.” Lance chuckled and then hesitated, reaching up to rub the back of his neck as he asked, “How’s uh, how’s Keith?”

Allura’s eyes widened slightly. “Keith? Oh! He’s fine, only…he’s a bit cross with Coran and I for being off on our estimates,” she admitted, chagrined. “He was actually at your side all night. I admit I may have forced him out this morning to get some much-needed rest and well, he didn’t exactly heed my words. Keith went out with Krolia instead to investigate the water source you two discovered yesterday.”

“Oh…okay,” Lance replied, feeling an odd flutter in his stomach. “Think I’ll go find something to eat.”

“Yes, of course! I’ll meet you all in a few doboshes. I just have some last things to review before we set off tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Lance asked in surprise.

“Yes,” Allura said, shifting uneasily on her feet. “I believe Keith’s original plan was to leave today, but of course we didn’t want to risk moving you before we were certain you’d healed. Not to mention we'd need you to pilot the Red Lion. Now that you’re alright though, I expect we’ll be on our way.”

“To Earth,” he murmured, half to himself.

“Yes, to Earth,” she confirmed, a comforting smile on her lips. “Now go get something to eat. We’ll all need our strength in the days to come.”

Lance nodded and then quickly changed behind a partition before exiting the makeshift hospital they’d established in the Black Lion. The two suns warming this planet were already growing low in the sky—a binary star system some 200 million miles away. Lance tried not to think of how far they were from Earth, but the sinking feeling in his chest was proof enough he hadn’t succeeded.

“Lance!” He looked up, and then felt a grin spread across his face as he saw Hunk running toward him with a huge smile on his face. “Lance, buddy! You’re okay!”

“Of course I’m okay!” he said, and then let out a small ‘oof’ as Hunk tackled him in a bear hug. He was sweaty and smelled like a variety of spices Lance didn’t recognize. He must have been experimenting with a new recipe.

As if reading his mind, Hunk let go of him and excitedly said, “I’ve got some food for you! Pidge and I found some really awesome edible plants and well, no food goo tonight!”

“I thought it’d grown on you,” Lance teased.

“It has, but variety is also good, you know?”

“Yeah.”

Hunk grinned, and Lance couldn’t help but smile too as they walked over to the fire. It was burning high, and the air was suffused with the smell of the same spices that stuck to Hunk’s clothes. “With Kaltenecker’s help and these cool root vegetables we found I made a vegetarian bisque! Figured it’d be good with the colder weather and all. Plus, it makes for a nice meal before we’re potentially back to nothing but food goo again.”

“Go on, take a seat,” Hunk added, gesturing proudly.

Lance plopped down on a log they must have dragged over earlier in the day, watching as Hunk poured a creamy orange soup into a bowl. It smelled amazing, and he felt his mouth water as his friend handed it to him along with what looked like an herb-crusted biscuit. Lance dipped it into the soup, took a bite, and promptly moaned embarrassingly loud.

“That’s what I said!” Pidge announced as she took a seat beside him. “Only I didn’t sound like I was in a porno.”

Lance choked and spent the next several ticks coughing and desperately trying to drink down the water Hunk gave him. “PIDGE!” he exclaimed.

She snickered, a huge grin spreading across her face and her glasses glinting in the setting sun. “It’s good to have you back, Lance.”

He shook his head, but the disapproving gesture was ineffective with the identical smile that resided on his face. “It’s good to be back.”

Pidge smiled again and then happily accepted another bowl from Hunk as she waxed on enthusiastically about a new gadget she was working on. Hunk pitched in too, and Lance suddenly felt very warm and happy, a feeling that only grew as more of them returned. Coran gave him a hearty clap on the back, Shiro pulled him into a hug, and even Romelle, who he still didn’t know all too well, greeted him with a shining smile.

Keith and Krolia were the last to return, Keith’s wolf trailing on their heels. Lance knew when they arrived because the group grew somewhat quiet, glancing up at the pair and then back to Lance with poorly concealed anticipation. It made Lance’s ears feel hot and he re-doubled his attentions on his third helping of soup. He didn’t get why they were staring. Who cared if Keith stood vigil over him all through the night? He’d done the same for Shiro and they hadn’t made a big deal out of that.

Lance glanced up again. Everyone had returned to talking animatedly while Keith and Krolia hung back, engaged in a conversation of their own. Lance watched as Krolia gave her son a fond smile, ruffling his hair and then tipping up his chin as if trying to cheer him up. Keith smiled a little, but still hesitated as Krolia came up to welcome Lance back and get some soup. Lance thanked her, but some of his good mood was deflating as he watched Keith begin to make his way toward the Black Lion instead of joining them. Didn’t he want to eat? Update them on his day? …didn’t Keith maybe want to say hi to him?

“Keith!” Hunk yelled, causing Lance to nearly fall off his log. “Get over here! I’ve got a steaming bowl of bisque with your name on it!”

Lance missed Keith’s response as he grabbed a napkin and cleaned up the soup that had sloshed onto his hands. When he looked up again, it was to see Keith accepting the bowl and taking a careful seat beside his mom. It was clear he felt out of his element surrounded by so many people. Keith didn’t look at him. Despite a stomach full of food, he felt strangely empty.

“Hey Keith!” Pidge chimed in, an annoyed edge to her voice. “Did you see? Lance woke up!”

Lance slunk down in his seat. He wanted to tell Pidge to leave it alone, but for once couldn’t get his mouth to form words.

“I saw,” he heard Keith say. “Good to see you back.”

He lifted his gaze. Keith was vaguely rosy, looking as though he wanted his space wolf to go rogue and gobble him up. Lance knew the feeling. There were way too many eyes on them. “Yeah,” Lance said, and nothing else, because his vocabulary had apparently shrunk down to that of a yupper. He felt his shoulders slump. It never used to be like this. He hated that it was like this and he hated that this was all his fault. All his fault for having, well, unrealistic expectations.

The truth was that Lance had been elated when Keith returned, and after the chaos and hurt had wound down he hadn’t been able to stop himself from turning into a veritable fountain of babble as he rushed to tell Keith everything he’d missed and more. Keith hadn’t seemed to mind. He had smiled and laughed at the right places, offered his own brand of sympathy in others, but then…nothing. He hadn’t told Lance about the Blade of Marmora, meeting his mom, or his time in deep space. He hadn’t even told him the name of his wolf. Lance felt as if he’d poured his entire quintessence into Keith but received nothing in return. Apparently, he had a lot in common with a balmera—for every ounce he gave, he needed a little too.

It was pathetic. If Lance could just lower his expectations, if he could accept that maybe Keith didn’t want to talk about it and that this didn’t mean he cared any less, then maybe Lance would have his friend back. Maybe this emptiness that had sunk its claws into his flesh would finally release him. Keith had saved his life for goodness sake—had been upset when he fell into the ravine; had watched over him as he recovered. Why couldn’t that be enough? Why wasn’t it enough?

Lance had mentioned some of this to Shiro once. He’d felt embarrassed and awkward, but Lance had opened up to him and Shiro had listened thoughtfully and then asked, quite simply, “Have you talked to him about it?” No, Lance hadn’t and Shiro’s advice had been that he should, which was perfectly reasonable…if only it wasn’t the only thing he couldn’t do. Even imagining the words he might say made him want to launch himself into the sun. It was unlike him, but then nothing was ever simple when it came to the Black Paladin.

As he looked at Keith, laughing as his space wolf tried to nibble his bread, Lance wished that it was.

~*~

Keith tried not to look at Lance. He tried not to look at him because whenever he did his brain became overwhelmed by memories of Lance falling into that ravine again; of his tear-steaked cheeks and the yawning abyss stretched out below him; of his short, panicked breaths and the pain etched on his face. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t slept yet, but Keith also thought he could still feel remnants of the anticipatory terror that had seized him just before he looked over that ridge.

Keith tried not to look at Lance…but god, he needed to.

He needed to see the roguish grin now spreading across Lance’s face as he entertained Allura and Romelle with a tale from his Garrison days. He needed to see those deep blue eyes sparkling with laughter and hear the joy inundating his words. He needed to see that he was whole—that he was okay.

Keith had stared at him in that healing pod and hated how still and lifeless he seemed, but now he was ebullient, effervescent, _him_. For every ounce of Keith that felt annoyed by his presence, there was an equal and all-encompassing need to always have him by his side. It was an aggravating push-and-pull that was never far from his mind. On the one hand, Lance was everything to him, but on the other, he’d never met a person who could rile him up faster. What always remained constant though was that he could no longer picture life without him, and for a few horrifying ticks, he had thought that he would have to.

Keith finished his soup as the conversation began quieting around him, see you laters and good nights replacing the jokes and laughter. He _felt_ Lance stand up rather than saw it. His presence simply filled up space—impossible to ignore.

“If you were looking for the right time to talk to him, now would be good,” his mother murmured from beside him. She tapped the underside of his chin again, and he admittedly smiled when he caught sight of her encouraging face. She knew things were tense between them and she knew Keith wanted to fix it.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “alright.” Keith set down his bowl and looked around. Lance was heading toward the Red Lion, presumably to turn in for the night as it was too cold this time to sleep outside. Keith sprinted forward and then slowed as he came near, watching as Lance touched his fingers to the red particle barrier protecting his Lion. It dissolved, and Keith took that moment to say, “Hey.”

Lance startled, head snapping in the direction of his voice. For a fleeting moment, the corners of his lips twitched downward, but in the next he managed to hitch on a smile and said, “Hey, man. What’s up?”

Keith hesitated, unsure what to make of the initial frown, but then forced himself to say, “I just wantedtoaskhowyou’refeeling.” The words were rushed, jumbled in their delivery, and a small crease appeared between Lance’s brows as he tried to process what he’d heard.

“I’m alright,” he finally said with an uncertain smile. “Guessing you’re checking to make sure we’re good to set out tomorrow?”

“Huh?” Keith asked in surprise. “No, I—well, I mean, that’s good to know, but—” He trailed off, suddenly wishing that a large burrowing worm would bust out of the earth and devour him. “Never mind. Just…goodnight,” he muttered, and turned to go, but nearly fell flat on his fucking face when he felt Lance’s fingertips graze his wrist.

“Wait a tick,” Lance said, letting his hand drop back to his side. “I wanted to thank you. You know, for saving my life. So…thanks, man.”

Keith slowly turned back around. His heart was beating weirdly fast. “You saved yourself. You grabbed onto that root.”

“Yeah, but I never would have been able to pull myself up and my jetpack was on the fritz,” Lance pointed out. “I know I’m not that smart, but even I can see I’m only here because of you.”

 _You are smart_ , Keith thought, but instead felt his frustration crest so what he said instead was, “If I hadn’t been such an asshole none of it would have happened.”

Lance shrugged, taking the change in tone in stride. “I don’t know. I’m the one who stormed off like a kid. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Keith grit his teeth, preventing another argument from shooting out his mouth. Lance offered him another smile, this one a little uncertain, a little shy. Keith had never known Lance to be either. “I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree,” he finally said evenly. “What’s important is that you’re okay.”

“Awww, Keith!”

“Stop,” the Black Paladin growled, but then couldn’t help but smile when he heard Lance’s soft laugh. The sound made him feel like his heart had grown tiny wings. It made Keith want to kiss him, and that realization made him feel like the ground had disappeared beneath his feet. _Shit, shit, not this again, shit._

“Okay, well, I’m going to turn in now and you should too,” Keith stated brusquely. “We’re heading out at first light and I need you sharp, you got that?”

Lance’s face fell, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before saying, “Yeah, man, I uh…I got that. I’ll be ready.”

Keith nodded curtly and then turned on his heel, making a beeline for the Black Lion. He thought he might have heard Lance say something, but he didn’t slow his steps to check. Keith was tumbling down a slope of his own, but unlike Lance, he couldn’t seem to stop.

~*~

Lance wasn’t exactly sure how he kept fucking things up so badly. All he knew was that every time he thought he might be one step closer to mending his friendship with Keith the rift between them grew instead. It was like being thrown in a fun house against your will, every mirror and wall playing tricks on you as you desperately tried to find your way out. Lance was beginning to feel there was no escape, and that made him feel like a constant weight was pressing against his chest. All he wanted was for Keith to smile at him again, to laugh at his jokes, to listen to him and confide in him again. He wanted to be able to talk to him without watching his every word; he wanted to be able to touch him without having Keith flinch and recoil.

Lance felt his face warm a little at that last thought. He wasn’t even sure what he meant by it. Just that it hadn’t exactly felt great when Keith reacted like someone had sneezed on him when Lance barely grazed his wrist. It made him feel like he’d morphed into a giant slug and hadn’t realized it yet.

“Hey, Lance! You okay, buddy? I don’t think I’ve heard you say a word in like, a whole varga,” Hunk said over the comms. A glimpse of yellow appeared in his periphery, and Lance watched as the Yellow Lion flew up beside his own.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I was just _spacing out_. Get it?” Several groans sounded over the intercoms and Lance couldn’t help but laugh.

“I can’t believe you just said that!” Pidge exclaimed.

“What can I say? I’m a _punny_ guy.”

“LANCE!”

He grinned. Sure, things were weird between him and Keith and sure, he’d woken up in a cold sweat again last night after having yet another nightmare, but at least there was this.

“Everyone, I need you to focus. The radar’s picking up on something big up ahead,” Keith’s voice cut in authoritatively.

The group fell quiet, and Lance felt his muscles tense as he stared out into the limitless expanse of space before him. The silence pressed against his ears, his pulse increasing marginally.

“It seems to be a small fleet of Galra fighters,” Pidge said, the sound of rapid clicks and beeps accompanying her voice. “Which, you know, wouldn’t normally be a big deal, but we’re not flying at full power here.”

“Maybe we should run away then,” Romelle suggested over Allura’s comms. “You know, to conserve energy!”

“I second that idea!” Hunk cried out, already positioning the Yellow Lion to bolt.

“Hang on,” Shiro said, his steadying voice causing the group to fall silent once more. “According to the radar they seem to be moving away from us, not toward us. If we slow down a bit and adjust our course, we shouldn’t run into them at all.”

“Shiro’s right. I need you all to fall in line and follow me,” Keith directed.

Lance maneuvered the Red Lion back around, having been a fair distance ahead of the others. Pidge was already soaring into place just behind the Black Lion’s left flank, so Lance took up his position on the right. He could see the Blue Lion out of the corner of his eye, staying close on his tail.

They flew on like this for some time before Krolia murmured, “Something doesn’t feel right.”

“I agree,” Allura said, her voice tense. “I’m sensing some sort of large energy, but I can’t see anything at all.”

“You guys!” Pidge interjected, sounding panicked. “It’s some kind of cloaking dev-AHHHHHHH!”

Lance yelled as an explosion erupted around them, the entire cabin shuddering from the impact and a deafening, angry roar escaping the Red Lion’s mouth. He gasped, for a moment unable to do anything but stare as a massive red planet took up their entire view.

“HOW DID WE NOT SEE THIS?” Lance shouted.

“I told you! It was cloaked somehow!” Pidge answered.

Allura growled in frustration. “How does one cloak an entire planet?!”

“I don’t know, guys, but its gravitational force is pulling us in!” Hunk cut in with alarm.

“FULL THRUSTERS,” Keith ordered. “The planet’s surface is unstable!”

“What do you mean unstable?!” Lance asked, his voice pitching up.

“LAVA, LANCE. I MEAN LAVA!”

“‘Unstable’ is _really_ kind of an understatement then, don’t you think?” Hunk said, and then yelled as another explosion made their very bones rattle.

“There are xanthorium crystals orbiting the entire planet!” Coran cried out. Simultaneous groans followed this pronouncement, accompanied by a rising note of fear that Lance wished he couldn’t hear. He could hear Keith’s space wolf barking madly, but the sound was soon drowned out by another round of screams as more xanthorium crystals exploded around them.

“The planet’s gravitational pull is too strong. The Lions don’t have enough power to combat it or to form Voltron!” Pidge informed them, as if their steady downward descent back wasn’t indication enough.

“I’m picking up on a potential landing area in the northeast quadrant of the planet,” Keith said. “If we make our way there, we can let the lions recharge and figure out our next move. I’m sending the location to you n—” His voice cut out, as did the entire communications system as the lights in each of the Lions flickered, and then shut off entirely. For a moment it was as if they were all caught in suspension, and then they tumbled down,

         down

                      d

                           o

                               w

                                    n.

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo, boy! Another chapter down! *ducks flying fruit and cabbages* Sorry!!!! I promise I'm working on Chapter 3 now! This one was such a thrill to write, haha. I hope you all enjoyed it and as always, I look forward to hearing what you think! Also, I feel a little lame asking, but since I'm new to the Voltron fandom, if you liked this story, maybe recommend it to others too? I know lots of people are looking for Season 7 rewrites and the like, but I'm not sure how to get the word out about this one. Is there a master Klance fanfiction list or something? Or do people just find these things? Lol, I don't know, but regardless thank you sincerely for reading and I hope to see you back when the next chapter is released! (*^^*)/


	3. Whirlpool

A high-pitched keening pierced Keith’s ears, compounding the pulsing ache he felt in his skull and the nausea that turned his stomach. The whining grew louder, and Keith felt something bump against his arm, a nervous concern brushing his consciousness. He groaned, rolling onto his back. His thoughts felt sluggish, shifting and congealing as he slowly opened his eyes. Darkness clung to every corner of the room, subdued only by the pale aqua glow from his armor.

_What happened?_

He inhaled deeply, the stale, recycled air in his helmet doing little to clear his mind. Keith’s wolf whined again, pawing at his side, and Keith abruptly gasped, sitting up as his memories crashed into him all at once. They’d been falling—hurtling to the surface of a molten planet. He remembered his friends’ screams, the pressure of gravity, vertigo, and then…nothing. Only waking up here.

Keith renewed his efforts to take in his surroundings, his heart jolting as he caught a glimpse of more blue-green lights ahead. “Hey,” he called out, scrambling forward on his hands and knees. “Hey!”

The figure stirred and then groaned. “What…what happened?” A female’s voice, dazed—Allura. She lifted her head, her face partly illuminated by the glowing stripes on her helmet.

“I don’t know yet,” Keith answered truthfully, “but I need you to help me find the others. Can you do that?”

“Yes, I…I think so.” Allura shifted, presumably getting to her hands and knees as Keith got to his feet and cast his gaze around the room, eyes straining to catch even the faintest glimpse of light. There were two sets of glowing insignias up ahead. Keith darted toward them.

“Hunk? Pidge?”

“Is that you, Keith?” Pidge asked groggily. “Ugh, my head is spinning.”

“You can say that again. I feel like we just plummeted thousands of feet through the air. Oh wait, _we did_ ,” Hunk stated flatly. “How are we still alive?!”

“I don’t know,” Keith mumbled again. “I need you two to help me find everyone else.”

The Green and Yellow Paladins murmured affirmatives and helped one another up. Coran, Romelle, and Shiro’s voices soon joined the conversations unfolding around him. A series of short chitters and a low grunt showed Allura’s mice and Kaltenecker to be alive and well too. Keith’s pulse kicked up. “Mom?” he called into the darkness. “Lance?”

There was no response, and Keith’s chest began to tighten before he finally heard Allura exclaim, “Lance, is that you?”

Keith froze, straining to listen. There was a soft groan and then, “Wow, is it dark in here or have I gone blind?”

Allura let out a breathy laugh of relief at the same time Keith sharply exhaled. “It’s only dark, Lance. You can see my face, can’t you? Because of the lights on our armor?”

“I sure can.”

Allura laughed again. “Sounds like you’re alright. Here, take my hand, I’ll help you up.”

The back of Keith’s neck burned. He ran his tongue over his teeth and then shouted, “Mom? MOM!”

“I’m down here!” Krolia’s voice sounded from some distance away. “I’ve been trying to scout out where we are! I’ll be right there!”

“Okay,” Keith mumbled, and then collapsed against the wall, closing his eyes. His space wolf, who must have followed him, pushed his snout into his palm. Keith absently scratched him behind the ear. His brain felt like it had been used as a stress ball and his nerves felt razor sharp—ready to strike at the slightest provocation _. Relax,_ he thought to himself. _Just relax._

“Keith?” He opened his eyes, relief washing over him as he caught sight of his mother’s face, illuminated only by the pink lights on her armor. There was a slight crease between her brows and her lips were pressed together in concern.

“Hey,” Keith said quickly. “What did you find out?”

“Is everyone awake now?” Krolia asked first, raising her voice to ensure she’d be heard.

“Yes, everyone is accounted for and uninjured,” Shiro said as they all gathered close. “Do you know what happened?”

“I have a guess,” she said, and then glanced at Keith briefly before she turned to the others and announced, “It is my belief that when the power went out we lost altitude so rapidly that we fell unconscious. During that time, I believe Keith’s wolf must have rushed to teleport each of us in small groups to this cave. The Lions crash landed into the side of a mountain nearby. The impact was enough to create a sizable crater and they’re partially buried but seem unharmed. It was difficult to tell as I couldn’t get close.”

“Wait, so Keith’s wolf saved us?” Hunk piped up, looking impressed. “Whoa! Three cheers for—hey, wait a second, what’s your wolf’s name, Keith?”

“I don’t know yet,” Keith answered warily.

“Wait, what?” Lance asked, eyebrows raising.

“I vote for Kosmo then!” Hunk interrupted.

“I like Kosmo,” Allura added cheerfully.

“Kosmo is cool,” Lance agreed.

“Yeah, it’s nice!’ Pidge piped up.

“We’re not calling him Kosmo,” Keith growled, folding his arms tightly across his chest.

“Aw, come on, Keith, we’ve got to call him something,” Hunk argued.

“I figure when he’s ready, he’ll tell me his name.” Silence followed this pronouncement, Keith’s face rapidly warming. He couldn’t _name_ him as if he were a common dog. He was a space wolf for goodness sake! He had sentience—intelligence! It was up to him to decide when and whether he’d share his name with Keith.

“So, uh…maybe in the meantime then, Kosmo?” Lance offered tentatively.

Keith glanced at him, and then let out a huff of breath. “I mean—yeah, fine, whatever,” he muttered, and then turned back to his mom and asked, “Why couldn’t you get close to the Lions?”

“It began to rain,” Krolia answered succinctly.

“Rain?” Lance repeated hopefully.

“For lack of a better term. This ‘rain’ seems to be comprised of a flammable material that ignites as it makes its descent through the atmosphere.”

“So, it’s raining _fire_?” Hunk yelped in disbelief.

“Typical,” Lance muttered, while Coran exclaimed, “Ooh! That reminds me of Altea! Only those were rocks….” Keith suppressed a small smile.

Krolia didn’t miss a beat. “When the firestorm stops we can look at what we’re dealing with. In the meantime, I suggest we rest. Oxygen levels are such that you can remove your helmets, but I would keep them nearby—the levels of carbon monoxide seem to fluctuate due to the smoke outside the cave.”

“You know, I’m not sure I like this planet very much,” Romelle mused, while Shiro mumbled something that sounded like, “Can’t believe we literally landed in hell.”

 “It could be worse,” Keith spoke up bracingly.

“We could be pancaked,” Hunk offered, clapping his hands together once in demonstration.

“Or burnt to a crisp!” Pidge chimed in excitedly.

“We could also have been captured by Galra,” Allura added thoughtfully.

“And then cloned,” Shiro deadpanned.

“Seriously, guys?” Keith asked weakly, while they all began to laugh.

“We’re just messing with you,” Hunk said, clapping him on the back with enough force that Keith stumbled.

“Right,” he mumbled, rubbing his shoulder. “I understand this isn’t the best situation but my mom’s right. We should try and get some rest. We’ll head out as soon as we can.”

“Roger that, Team Leader,” Lance said with a wink and a finger gun pointed in his direction.

Keith’s face warmed, and he managed only a mute nod before the group dispersed, all of them remaining within sight of one another, but distant enough to not contribute to the already elevated temperature. Sweat stuck to Keith’s skin like a second suit of armor. He took off his helmet, breathing deep and sitting down. _Stupid, stupid_. It was only a wink.

Sighing heavily, Keith flopped onto his back, lacing his fingers behind his head and staring up at the interminable darkness. It was good Lance had followed Hunk. His heart was still beating a little too fast. Keith’s wolf—Kosmo, settled by his side, resting his head on Keith’s shoulder. Images began to trickle into his head, of Kosmo teleporting Keith, Krolia, and Shiro to this cave, followed by additional flashes of light as he went back to each Lion to rescue their occupants too. Keith closed his eyes, sending waves of gratitude in return. If it weren’t for Kosmo, none of them would be here now. He turned toward his wolf, pressing his face into his fur. Kosmo offered him soothing images, expansive nebulae, the flowers that bloomed on the space whale, Lance smiling….

Keith flushed, tightening his grip on Kosmo’s fur. “Don’t do that,” he muttered. Confusion touched his mind, but he ignored it, focusing instead on the sight of galaxies until Kosmo returned to sending him images of space. Keith wasn’t sure if this was better. Thinking of him, or not thinking of him, hurt all the same.

~*~

Lance couldn’t sleep for the life of him. The cave was hot, suffused with sticky air, and no matter what position he laid in his armor dug into his skin, making comfort an impossibility. There had been a brief lull in which he’d started to nod off, but then images of his childhood home encircled by flames corrupted his thoughts and he awoke with a start, breaths trapped in his throat. Even half-asleep, his nightmares seemed to find him.

Giving up, Lance grabbed his helmet and got to his feet, maneuvering around the others as he set off in the direction of the mouth of the cave. It was further than he’d thought. He began to wonder if he’d taken a wrong path, but then turned a corner and saw the burning sky ahead. He inched forward carefully, keeping an eye on his sensors in case the air became too dangerous to breathe.

It didn’t, and Lance came to a halt as he reached the cave entrance. Thick, slate gray clouds choked out the darkened sky, fire falling like shooting stars racing for the scabrous ground. The air felt like the heavy exhales of a sleeping dragon. Lance stood transfixed, time becoming a nonentity as lava churned and popped some distance away. It wasn’t until his legs began to protest that he sat, setting his helmet beside him and leaning back on his hands with his head tipped toward the sky. This planet was the farthest from Earth he could have imagined. The thought weighed on his shoulders and stung his eyes. At this rate, they would never get back.

A rock skittered across the ground, and Lance turned to see a pair of white paladin boots come into view, an all too familiar red stripe crossing from one side of each ankle to the other. “Hey, Keith,” he greeted, trying to sound upbeat.

 “Hey….”

Lance angled his head up to look at him and smirked. “Come to check out the view?”

Unexpectedly, Keith blushed, the pink on his cheeks all too noticeable against his fair skin. “What?” he asked, unnecessarily aggressive.

Lance arched one eyebrow high. “Uh, the view?” he repeated, gesturing before him.

Keith’s brows furrowed, and then his blush deepened as he scrambled to say, “Oh! I…no. I just…wanted to see if the firestorm stopped.”

Lance stared at Keith for a few bewildered more ticks, and then felt his face warm as he realized how Keith must have interpreted his words. He turned his head back toward the sky, watching as more fire rained down to the earth. “Looks like it hasn’t,” he stated stupidly.

“I noticed.”

An awkward silence cut between them and Lance licked his lips as he tried to think of something else to say. Despite his slight embarrassment, he didn’t really want Keith to go. “Do you…want to sit down?” he offered.

“…sure.” Keith stepped up beside him and then sat. Lance wasn’t sure if it was on purpose, but the Black Paladin mimicked his posture, leaning back on his hands with his eyes lifted toward the sky. Keith had big eyes—glimmering indigo accentuated by long, black lashes. Big, pretty eyes. It took Lance some effort to drag his gaze forward again. His stomach gave a funny flip. He must have been getting hungry.

“Do you mind if I ask you something? Like, besides this question?”

Keith hesitated, and Lance could almost see him reinforcing the walls he kept around him. “I guess not,” he slowly said. “Can’t promise I’ll answer though.”

Right. Lance drew in a breath. “What was the space whale like?”

He didn’t answer right away. Keith’s eyes were fixed on the sky, following the descent of a particularly bright ember. “That’s a broad question,” he finally said. “Was there anything specific you wanted to know?”

“Uh…no,” Lance admitted. “Just like, in general, I guess. What was it like?”

“Strange.”

 “I see…” Lance said, trying to hide his disappointment. He wasn’t sure what he had expected—wasn’t sure what he had wanted. He suspected the answer to both questions was, ‘too much.’

He felt Keith’s gaze rest upon his face, and then the Black Paladin looked away before adding in a rush, “The whale was so massive and warm that it created its own atmosphere—like a planet. There were lots of species living there. It’s where I found my…er, Kosmo. My mom and I, we saw a streak of light across the sky and something crash landed on the whale. We went to investigate, and it was him. He was hurt and there were these giant insects surrounding him. I saved him, and he’s been with me ever since.”

Lance exhaled, his shoulders relaxing some. “Has he always done that uh, sending pictures thing?” he asked curiously.

“No,” Keith said, shaking his head. “I had to gain his trust first, I think. That’s why it surprised me when he reached out to you. Not that you’re untrustworthy it just…caught me off-guard.”

“Oh,” he said, unsure how else to respond. “Um, what else? About the space whale, I mean.”

Another length of silence followed, and then, “I saw images of the past…and the future. I saw my fight with Shiro—or well, his clone. I saw how my mom and dad met. I saw why she stayed on Earth…and why she left.” Keith ran a hand through his hair, fingers pausing in the obsidian locks that lay on the nape of his neck. Lance’s gaze paused too.

When he realized he’d been quiet for too long he said, “That’s wild, man. And maybe kind of cool too? It sounds like you learned a lot…like, about yourself and your family.” The Black Paladin nodded absently, and then Lance asked, “Did you see anything else? Future-wise?” Keith shrugged. He adjusted his position, sitting crisscrossed with his hands in his lap. Somehow Lance understood that this was all the answer he’d get.

They returned their focus to the sky. The firestorm was calming, only scattered ashes floating on air currents. It seemed their conversation had come to a close until Keith mumbled, “I never knew whether we were moving closer or farther from the end.”

Lance sat up too, mirroring Keith’s posture as he turned to him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean sometimes I felt like we were moving toward answers, toward a way…back, and other times I wondered how much longer we had left—if I would live out the rest of the life there. Which, I guess wasn’t so bad because I was with my mom, but…everything feels different when you’re wondering if the day you’re living is going to be your last.”

Lance felt something break within him, his shoulders slumping and his eyes downcast. “I…feel like that all the time,” he admitted. “Like I don’t know if I’m nearing the end of this, or you know, the end of…me. Like sometimes I feel like I’ll see my family again and sometimes I really believe I never will. That I’ll just die out here before I ever see them again. Or worse, that I’ll finally get back, and…I’ll be too late.” His voice cracked, and he reached up in frustration to wipe the tears that had fallen down his cheeks.

“Sorry,” Lance whispered, attempting a feeble smile. “I uh, I just really hope they’re okay, you know?”

Keith moved, and Lance thought he was going to hug him or give his shoulder a squeeze. He thought this, and he thought maybe he even wanted that, but instead he only said, “I do too.”

Lance let out a watery laugh. “Why would you hope for that too?”

“Because I’m not as much of an asshole as you think?” Keith tried, which admittedly made Lance smile. “And because I can’t tell you that they’re okay when I don’t know that they are,” he added, his tone serious. “Until we get there, all we can do is hope and, I don’t know…two people hoping for the same thing? Maybe that makes it stronger.”

Lance’s heart softened, his brows furrowing. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then let out a tremulous breath. He was crying again. He could barely see. Lance squeezed his eyes shut, wiping his cheeks again and then letting out a short, self-deprecating laugh. He was so pathetic. One mention of his family and a few kind words and he was a fucking mess. He felt broken, stupid. Surely the other paladins never got like this.

“Maybe it does,” Lance replied, and then pressed his lips together to hold back a sob. “Stupid smoke,” he hissed, drying his face one last time.

“Lance….”

“I’m fine,” he said, jumping to his feet. “We should let everyone know the storm stopped and check on the Lions. Maybe eat something too. I’m sure Hunk will want to whip up something great after this mess.”

“Lance….”

“I SAID I’M—” He startled as Keith grabbed his shoulder, turning Lance to face him and then pressing their foreheads together. Lance choked. He hadn’t even heard him stand. His heart was thrumming like a butterfly’s wings.

“Hey,” Keith said, his voice soft and his eyes downcast, “I’m no good at this, but…I hear you, and…I’m going to do everything I can to make sure we all get back. I promise you that, Lance. I promise.”

Lance closed his eyes, nodding and then flushing when the motion brushed their noses together. “Roger that, Samurai,” he said nervously.

Keith, surprisingly, chuckled and then stepped away, a small smile on his face. “Chin up, Sharpshooter,” he said encouragingly. Lance laughed, and then he smiled back.

~*~

Keith was having trouble breathing. The air was so dense and hot that it felt like someone was holding a pillow over his face. The exhausted pants and groans from the other paladins showed that they fared no better as they struggled to dig the Lions out from the rubble. The Red and Green Lions were instrumental in this effort, having been the first to be dislodged from the earth, but they were also the smallest, their jets spluttering as they strained to free the Yellow Lion. They only needed to move it a few more feet before Hunk would be able to access the cockpit and add Yellow’s strength to their efforts.

“Come on, push!” Keith growled over the comms. “Really connect with your Lions!”

“We’re trying!” Lance and Pidge shouted simultaneously, and then yelped as the Yellow Lion finally jolted, an entrance hatch springing into sight.

“Alright!” Hunk said, punching the air. He flipped open the hatch and cannonballed in, only a few more ticks elapsing before the Yellow Lion roared and rocketed up into the sky. Several voices lifted in triumph, but Keith grit his teeth. The Blue and Black Lions were still stuck.

“Okay, I need Yellow Lion on Blue and Green and Red on Black,” Keith directed. “Everyone else, get out of the way, I think we’ve moved enough rubble.” The Lions soared into place, massive claws digging into the rock as they heaved their weight against their imprisoned counterparts. He could hear Hunk, Lance, and Pidge shouting over the comms.

“I’ve got Blue!” Allura cried out suddenly, and then disappeared into her Lion too.

“Hunk, help Lance and Pidge!”

“Got it, Keith!” the Yellow Paladin said, and then slammed the Yellow Lion right into Black’s flank.

The Black Lion roared, head bursting out of the rocks, and Keith took a running leap, soaring into its open mouth and sprinting toward the pilot seat. “We’ve got it!” Keith shouted, unable to contain his relief, and then the Black Lion was flying up, up, up—twirling and then diving smoothly. An exhilarated ‘whoop!’ escaped his lips. “Finally! Great work, team!”

“Aw, Keith actually sounds happy!” Lance teased, which made his face burn and the others laugh. He bit back a retort, still embarrassed to hell by their conversation only a few vargas ago. _Chin up, Sharpshooter?_  Seriously? Add the fact that he’d frozen like an idiot when Lance started crying and he was ready to bury himself in a damn crater. Why the hell was he so socially inept?

To be fair, Lance hadn’t seemed bothered by his inability to be a normal fucking person, but still. Replaying the scene made him want to crawl out of his skin. He’d even nearly given Lance a heart attack by grabbing him in a fit of impulsivity. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_. But then their noses bumped, and he had laughed and Lance…laughed too. He’d even smiled. Shyly, yes, but it was there and pretty much the cutest fucking thing Keith had ever seen. Which meant nothing because Lance was in love with Allura, but…. _No. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“Alright, team. Let’s get off this hell planet!” he announced. Everyone agreed, and after a brief stop to pick up Krolia, Shiro, Coran, Romelle, the mice, Kosmo, and Kaltenecker, they were on their way again. This time they were able to reach escape velocity and soar up into the limitless expanses of space. He knew it wouldn’t be long before the emptiness bored him, but for now, relief washed over him like a cool glass of water. They were on their way again, finally.

“Oh no,” Pidge’s voice suddenly sounded over the comms. “That Galra fleet is back!”

“Are you kidding me!?” Keith shouted, and then cursed when a glance at his radar confirmed her words.

“They must have waited for us,” his mother said from behind him, tightening her grip on his chair.

“If it weren’t for the firestorm, I think they would have come sooner,” Shiro added grimly from his right.

Keith nodded, making a split-second decision. “This time we’re taking them out!” The paladins hollered enthusiastic agreements and then spread out as the enemy ships came into view.

 “Some of these look like they belong to Lotor’s fleet!” Romelle observed from the Blue Lion.

Keith growled, dropping steeply to avoid an incoming laser. He spun the Black Lion around, exploding his attacker with a return shot of his own and then using his jaw-blade to slice open another. He watched as the Green Lion spiraled above him, taking out another half-dozen ships. On his right the Red Lion ejected a stream of magma at a wave of fighters attempting to swarm the Black Lion from below. Keith exhaled sharply and shot forward, just in time to send another laser at a ship speeding toward the Yellow Lion.

“More are coming!” Allura cried. “We’re vastly outnumbered!”

“We need to form Voltron!” Lance yelled.

“Okay. Everyone, in formation!” Keith directed. The Lions soared upward together as one. They had never felt more synchronized and yet Voltron failed to form.

“We still don’t have enough power!” Pidge cried out in dismay.

“Damn it!” Keith snarled. “ABORT!” They scattered and were immediately assaulted by an onslaught of lasers that had them tumbling back to the molten planet they’d just left. “WATCH OUT!” he shouted, and then grimaced as the Black Lion collided with one of the xanthorium crystals that orbited it. The explosion shook the entire cabin, knocking Shiro and Krolia off-balance as Kosmo began to bark wildly again. It was like déjà vu, and Keith’s pulse skyrocketed as he desperately tried to fend off the planet’s gravitational pull.

“This is wasting too much energy!” Krolia shouted, trying to get back to her feet as the cabin shuddered again. “We should let the planet pull us in and lose the fighters in the gorges below!”

“Good idea. Everyone down, now!” Each of the Lions roared and then nosedived through the planet’s atmosphere, swerving to avoid lasers and long plasma cords that kept shooting out and trying to attach themselves to the Lion’s bodies.

“I’ve never seen the Galra use tech like this before!” Hunk yelled, dodging more flailing purple ropes.

“We’ll worry about that later, follow me!” Keith ordered. He veered sharply, finding a narrow cleft in the rocky cliffs that rose before them, but just before he reached the entrance, a pale purple light blinded him, sending his Lion slamming into the ground with the force of a meteorite strike. Cries of pain resonated in his ears and he realized each of the Lions had been caught in the beam, the force of it pushing, pushing, pushing against them until Keith began to feel lightheaded from the pressure. He couldn’t breathe. Black spots flickered at the corners of his vision. His brain screamed at him to inhale, but he couldn’t. Lungs crushed. Panic seized him. Couldn’t—couldn’t—

“KEITH!”

Everything s l o w e d and then went **black.**

~*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yeah, THAT HAPPENED. Maybe the next chapter won’t end with mortal peril? WE CAN ONLY HOPE. ~~Maybe lots of people hoping for the same thing will make it stronger dfhjsdkfhjdsk~~ Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading!! Please don’t hesitate to interact! I’d love to hear what you all think so far (#^^#)/ Until next time! ❤


	4. Adrift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter and unique in that it follows a fair few scenes from Episode 3 of Season 7. I decided to do this because this episode did have some pretty impactful moments, including one of the few meaningful interactions we see between Lance and Keith the entire season, so I wanted to make sure I included them here. There will likely be more snippets from the season that pop up later, but this is the most you’ll ever see in one chapter. Honestly, it was difficult to write and I really hope I managed to still keep it interesting despite it being familiar *frets* Anyway, heh, happy reading (*^^*)

Time warped, stretched, and curled as Lance laid supine, staring up at the cobalt lights illuminating their metallic prison. His shoulders were cramping and his wrists ached, wrenched into handcuffs that were gradually cutting off the circulation to his fingers. He bent one long leg, straightened it; thumped his heel against the ground a few times and then sighed heavily. He felt like microscopic bugs were crawling across his skin.

A quick glance at the others showed them to be far more patient than he was. Romelle, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura sat quietly, staring down at their knees while Shiro and Keith stood on either side of the seated group like sentries. Shiro had his head inclined, as if deep in thought, while Keith glowered at the cell door, as if he could open it through sheer will alone. A tick worked in his jaw, but otherwise he was unsettlingly still.

Lance wished that he wasn’t; wished that he was at least giving orders because it hadn’t been all that long ago that Keith was lying unconscious, the last to come to after they’d been captured. The sight had sent an acute fear racing up his spine, but he hadn’t been able to get close as Krolia had taken charge, checking his vitals and then gently waking him. She stood by the door now, her shoulders stiff and her chin lifted proudly as she stared out the slight window with hawk-like intensity. He glanced back at Keith. Yup, same expression. Like mother, like son.

Lance struggled to his feet, clumsy without the use of his hands, and then pressed his ear to the wall, listening for any open spaces. When he found none, he began inching along its surface, squinting to find any cracks or imperfections in the solid metal.

“What are you doing?” Hunk asked wearily.

“I’m feeling for a secret passage,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“You’ve watched too many movies, Lance. There’s no secret passage,” Keith cut in with a sigh. Lance felt his heart squeeze. He knew this wasn’t one of his movies, but he had to do something. He couldn’t just sit here waiting to discover their fates.

“Oh, really?” he sang out challengingly. “Then how do you explain THIS?” Lance kicked a promising part of the wall with all his might and then let out a strangled whimper as pain shot up his leg.

“Will someone shut him up?” Krolia hissed, her violet eyes flashing. “There’s only one guard patrolling out there. If we can get this door open, we can overpower him.”

 _But we can’t get it open_ , Lance thought bitterly, and then slumped to the floor, trying to ignore his burning face. Bad enough to be scolded like a little kid, but to be scolded by _Keith’s mom_? Lance wanted to sink into the ground and become one with the metal. The others were talking—something about Coran’s uncertain location, but Lance had difficulties paying attention. He had only been trying to help. His leg still hurt, a reminder of his own stupidity.

“You know, maybe I will help you look for that passage,” he suddenly heard Pidge say.

“Huh?”

“We just determined that our fates are in Coran’s hands,” she clarified, hugging her knees closer to her chest. Lance chewed his lip. He could think of worse situations. He could also think of better. Biting back a whine, Lance flopped onto his back again, staring at the ceiling and trying to remain still. He managed it for a bit, counting in his head, but then began to tap his toe in a half-remembered beat.

“Lance—”

“I’m sorry!” he yelped, not wanting to be scolded by Keith too. “It’s just, I can’t—”

“Tell me again about the time you freed those mermaids from being mind-controlled,” he continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted.

Lance blinked, and then turned his head to the side to look at him. “What?”

Keith let out a huff of air that rustled his bangs, his eyes averted. “Tell me the story again,” he repeated.

“Oh,” Lance said, a crease forming between his brows. “Um, okay, but Hunk has to help me! He was there too!”

“Uhhh, sure, I guess,” Hunk said slowly, giving Keith an odd look.

“Great!” Lance leapt to his feet with the smallest stumble and then gave his teammates his best, winning grin. “Well, it all started when Hunk and I got catapulted out of that wormhole together!”

Lance wove a rather amazing retelling of their triumph over the Baku thank you very much, complete with sound effects, a crucial reenactment, and some audience participation to make sure he kept everyone engaged (Romelle made an _awesome_ squid hypnotist). He thought he could see Krolia raising an unimpressed eyebrow at her son out of the corner of his eye, but she didn’t say anything, and Lance was really into telling his tale anyway, so he easily ignored it. By the end, he was humming with excited energy and pride, a feeling that was only intensified when he caught a glimpse of the small smile Keith had on his face. It was unexpected, but not in a bad way. It made him feel like maybe their relationship _was_ mending and then maybe he could stop feeling so...incomplete.

Lance tried to catch Keith's eye, so he could smile back at him, but it was then that the door slid open and happiness vanished from the room as though popped like a balloon. Eight pairs of eyes stared as two guards entered the cell, followed by two familiar women who sported identical smirks upon their lips.

“Look who’s here,” the smaller of the two said delightedly. “It’s Voltron!”

Her companion grinned, flashing razor sharp teeth as she punched her right fist into her palm. “We’re going to have a little talk.”

“Hey, you’re the guys that Lotor shot into space! Uh, Zethrid and Ezor!” Lance remembered. Ezor was the smaller one, with red-orange skin and a whip-like tail that grew from the back of her skull. Zethrid was her blue companion, standing at least a head taller and twice as broad. Neither could be underestimated. Lance narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah, they’re also the ones that were trying to kill us,” Pidge added, unimpressed.

“Sure, but we’re all friends now, right?” Hunk asked with a hopeful grin. He did a fair job then of attempting to extend an olive branch to them, but it quickly became apparent that Zethrid and Ezor were much more interested in burning it…alive. Lance felt his blood run cold, dread mixing with confusion as the pair began to aggressively question them about Lotor’s whereabouts…and theirs. It didn’t make any sense. Hadn’t they been there? Hadn’t Zethrid and Ezor seen Voltron leave the quintessence field in one piece? And what did they mean where had they been _all this time_? It couldn’t have been that long. Their battle with Lotor still burned fresh in their minds.

“If you insist on maintaining this charade of ignorance, you leave us no choice but to apply pressure,” Zethrid snarled, her large, bat-like ears twitching in anticipation.

“Finally,” Ezor purred. “Who’s our first victim?” Zethrid’s yellow eyes scanned the room, and then a chilling grin spread across her face as they settled on Pidge. Anger spread throughout Lance’s body, his fingers clenching and a low growl already in his throat.

“You,” she decided, her eyes never leaving the Green Paladin. “I’d bet half my fleet this group of heroes has a soft spot for the small one.”

Ezor stepped forward with relish and Lance saw red flash hot across his vision as he roared, “DON’T YOU TOUCH HER!” He lunged, swinging his arms through the air to bring his handcuffed fists down on her head, but Ezor swerved at the last second and spun in the air, her pointed boot connecting with his solar plexus. Blinding pain radiated from the blow, Lance’s breath leaving him as he flew and landed flat on his back. He groaned, struggling to rise, and then stilled as he came face to face with the barrel of a gun.

“Your defiance is adorable and so very misguided,” Zethrid said with a dismissive scoff.

“Leave us alone!” Pidge cried out. Lance felt ice crystallize in his veins as the two turned their attentions back to the youngest paladin. Ezor lashed out with her whip, grabbing the front of Pidge’s armor and yanking her up and into her hand. She wrapped it easily around Pidge’s small throat.

“PIDGE!” Hunk yelled, reaching out.

“LET HER GO!” snarled Keith, and Lance felt his breath rush out a second time as one of the guards turned his gun on the Black Paladin instead. The high-pitched keen of the gun charging turned Lance’s stomach. _No!_

It was then that the entire ship shook, their handcuffs deactivating and alarms blaring deafeningly as a computerized voice chanted, “ _Hull breach in hangar one. Lockdown sequence initiated_.” Both Zethrid and Ezor’s eyes widened in horror as they bolted for the door, their guards following close on their heels. The paladins rushed forward, but were outrun, the cell door slamming shut again as the alarms continued to blare. Keith cursed explosively, slamming his fist against the door with such force they all jumped.

“Keith….” Lance said quietly. The Black Paladin clenched his jaw and then returned to his post in the back corner of the room, eyes once again locked on the door. Krolia followed, moving to Keith’s side and murmuring something too low for the others to hear.

“We were so close,” Pidge whispered.

Lance turned to her, brows lowering in concern. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked. She nodded, but looked paler than usual, her amber eyes large and bright. “Pidge….” She hesitated, but then wrapped her arms around his middle, her face hidden from sight as Lance hugged her back, resting his chin on her head.

“Thanks by the way,” Pidge mumbled into his chest. “For, you know, trying to rescue me or whatever that was.”

“What do you mean ‘whatever that was?!’ That was grade A heroics right there!” Lance protested.

She laughed, shaking her head. “It was brave, I’ll give you that. Reckless, bordering stupid, but brave.”

“Uh, remind me why I tried to help you?” Lance asked with a raise of a brow, and then laughed when Pidge pulled away and punched his arm.

“It really was quite wonderful of you,” Allura admitted, smiling shyly at him.

“Oh, well,” he said sheepishly, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

“I hear something,” Keith said, pushing between the two of them as he returned to the door. Lance stared after him, blinking in surprise, and then opened his mouth to snap at him for being an ass when he too heard a resounding _thump_ from outside the door.

“This is it!” Krolia hissed, rushing forward too. “The next time that door opens, overwhelm the guard!” Lance hurried into place with the others as they lined up on either side of the door, their muscles tensing in anticipation of a fight. There was another crash and then suddenly the door rose with a hiss, revealing....

_Allura’s mice!?_

 “Oh, my goodness! Hello, little friends!” Allura exclaimed, dropping to her knees in front of them. They chittered and squeaked excitedly, their heads bobbing while the rest of them stared mutely at their apparent saviors. “They say Coran is trying to rescue us,” Allura translated. “And that he’s got help—Acxa!”

“What?” Keith breathed, his eyes widening in surprise _._

 _Uhhh, yeah, what?_ Hadn’t she tried to kill them too? Could someone really have a change of heart so quickly? Also, why did Keith’s face look like that? Who was Acxa besides one of Lotor’s generals? Lance felt like he was missing some pretty critical information.

“Come on, let’s go!” Allura said, rising to her feet. “The mice know the way!”

“Has anyone else ever thought about how weird it is that this is normal to us?” Shiro asked as they ran down the corridor.

“I mean, pretty much every day,” Hunk answered with a shrug.

“Same,” Romelle agreed with a fervent nod. “I feel like I’ve been thrown into some bizarre children’s show.”

“I just kind of go with it,” Pidge said, and then screeched to a halt as they rounded a corner and saw Coran locked in combat with an oversized droid that looked ready to finish him off. Allura leapt ahead, her graceful form shapeshifting into twice her usual size as she drew back her fist and slammed it right into the back of the droid’s head. It collapsed in a sparking heap as Allura shrunk down to normal size and asked, “Are you okay!?”

“Bever netter!” Coran cheerfully answered, swaying on his feet. Lance rushed forward to support him, coming up on his left and putting his arm around his neck. Keith, who seemed to have the same idea, rushed to Coran’s right. The man was dazed, mumbling words that didn’t make much sense strung together and one of his eyes was swollen shut.

“Coran, where’s Acxa?” Keith interrupted sharply. Lance frowned, confused by the urgency in his tone. Yeah sure, if she was on their side he didn’t exactly want to see her hurt, but why did Keith sound so worried? Again, he felt like he was missing something important.

“I don’t know…where am I?” Coran replied, drawing out his syllables unnecessarily long. “Never mind. Let’s get our belmards and hayards!” The group exchanged quick looks of concern, but it was clear they wouldn’t be able to do anything to help him here, so they set off. Despite his questionable lucidity, Coran was able to point them in the right direction, but they found their way blocked by two heavily armed guards.

“Any ideas?” Lance muttered, and then jumped as a red flash of light lit up the entire corridor, Keith’s bayard materializing in his hand. The Black Paladin surged into the room with a growl, the sound of frightened shouts, laser blasts, and slicing metal following soon after. Lance darted into the room, but then halted at the sight of the two felled guards and Keith putting on his helmet. Okay, so, that happened…. _Damn._

Keith’s eyes found his and held them. “Lance, lead the way. Keep the team together,” he instructed. Lance furrowed his brows. Time seemed to have slowed for him as the rest of the group rushed by. _What?_ Keith was already moving; walking away. Keith was—

“Wait, where are you going?” Lance blurted out, moving to follow. His heart was beating very fast. He didn’t understand why.

Keith paused, turning to face him, and Lance halted in his steps too. “Acxa saved our skin. I’m not gonna leave her behind,” he explained, his expression severe. “I’ll meet up with you guys soon.” Lance frowned, his thoughts struggling to take shape. Keith turned his back on him and left.

 _Again_ , his mind whispered. Lance clenched his jaw, shoving down the thought and the accompanying emotions. He made a beeline for his belongings—retrieving his bayard and sliding his helmet onto his head. The team had gathered around him, awaiting his direction.

Lance gave a short nod. “Let’s get to the Lions!”

~*~

Keith’s lungs burned as he raced down a deserted corridor, the sound of his footsteps thunderous in the silence. A bead of sweat slid from his temple, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He needed to focus—needed to find Acxa because leaving her for dead was piss poor thanks after all she’d done for them, but his brain wasn’t cooperating, his worries stacking alarmingly high. They’d hurt Pidge; they’d hurt Coran; and he couldn’t get Lance out of his mind. They’d hurt him too, and then…Keith had hurt him? He didn’t know how. He’d said he’d meet back up with them, but still there’d been something in Lance’s deep blue eyes. Something like pain, and he didn’t understand why.

Growling in frustration, Keith put on an extra burst of speed, his heart pounding beneath his ribs. He was nearing the end of the corridor. Shouts sounded ahead, and then suddenly Acxa tumbled into view, a grimace on her face as she skidded across the floor. She looked up, her lips parting in shock as Ezor leapt toward her, ready to deliver a fatal kick to her jaw. Keith yelled, sliding in front of her and bringing up his arm as his shield materialized, deflecting the blow. Ezor cried out, thrown off balance and then grunting in pain as she hit the ground. Zethrid ran to help her up and then the two dropped into a crouch side-by-side, perfectly in-sync.

Ezor grinned, her sharp canines glinting in the azure light. “Oh, look, Acxa, it’s your favorite paladin,” she cooed, and then turned to look at Zethrid with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Remember how she never wanted to kill him?”

“Aw, I guess it’s true love,” Zethrid mocked.

“Can’t we just fight?” Keith shouted, and then lunged at Ezor, his shield seamlessly morphing into his sword. She was ready, flipping over his head with ease and then sweeping Keith’s feet out from under him using the whip-like appendage on her head. The fall knocked the wind out of him, but he managed to jump back up just in time to dodge another assault.

A flash of blue caught the corner of his eye, and Keith watched as Acxa flew into the air, delivering a well-aimed kick to Zethrid’s face which left the half-Galra reeling. Ezor used the distraction to her advantage, driving Keith against the wall as she tried to use his own sword against him. Keith grit his teeth, his arms shaking with the effort of keeping the sharp edge away from his throat. He yelled, activating his jetpack and slamming Ezor back into the opposite wall.

Zethrid wasn’t having that, barreling into Keith with the force of a battering ram and sending both him and Acxa tumbling through the door of a storage closet. Keith pulled in huge lungfuls of air, gasping as he caught of a familiar silver canister rolling by, its distinctive red stripe glowing brightly in the darkness. “Is that what I think it is?” he panted.

“Synthian nitrate,” Acxa confirmed.

“Guys!” Keith shouted, activating his helmet’s communication system. “Zero in on my location and fire on the ship!”

“Are you sure?” Allura’s startled voice came in response, sounding as if she thought Keith had quite lost his mind.

“Just do it!” he snarled. Keith activated his shield, grabbing Acxa’s hand and then shooting out of the storage closet with the aid of his jetpack. The ship exploded, hot billowing fire expanding behind them as Keith flew out the nearest opening into the vast coldness of space. The Black Lion was already there to greet him, opening its mouth and then roaring low in satisfaction once Keith and Acxa were safely inside the pilot’s cabin. Keith didn’t pause, shoving the control sticks forward as he urged the Black Lion on. He could see the other Lions soar into place at his sides.

They were still breathing heavily, heartrates too fast and an irritating ring in Keith’s ears from the explosion. Acxa had a vice-like grip on his chair. She was leaning a little too close, the ends of her blue-purple hair skimming his helmet.

“Keith,” she said after a long moment of silence.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Keith angled his head to glance at her. She was smiling, a softness to her expression that had him squirming uncomfortably in his seat. “It was what any of us would do,” he said.

“Hey, Keith!” Lance’s voice sounded over the comms, making his heart leap into his throat.

“What is it?”

“Where are we going? Kosmo and Coran are hurt and Red’s struggling here.”

“Wait, what happened to Kosmo?” Keith asked in alarm.

“I think it’s only a sprained paw, but we should still check it out.”

Acxa straightened, her gaze focused ahead of them. “I have a small base on a planet nearby,” she stated. “We could rendezvous there. There is much that I fear you and your friends don’t know.” An uneasy silence followed these words. Keith slowly nodded.

“Alright. Everyone, follow me then. Acxa…lead the way.”

~*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAHHHH, there we go! I’m so sorry if this felt repetitive at times! I tried to keep it exciting and change it up where I could, but I know there’s a fair few similarities so, ughhhhh. It’s just—Lance protecting Pidge; Allura using her shapeshifting ability; Keith summoning his bayard from afar—I WANTED IT ALL. On the bright side, if you hated this the next chapters will diverge a lot more, and if you loved it, oh, um, that’s good too because then I don’t have to worry, lol. Either way, feedback is totally helpful and appreciated! Thank you all as always for reading!


	5. Erosion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was that? You want a longish chapter with pining, angst, and unresolved sexual tension? I got you, babe—you are so fucking valid. Also, a few more quoted lines from Episode 3 in the beginning here and we’re back on the path of divergence! This was just some Rather Important Shit ™.

Lance felt submerged—inundated by icy water that numbed his mind, numbed his bones. He thought he could glimpse light above him, glittering and hopeful, but no matter how desperately he struggled he couldn’t seem to break the surface.

 _Three deca-phoebs_. Roughly three years in Earth time. Three years that the Paladins had been gone. Three years in which everyone they knew and cared for thought them dead. Lance didn’t want to believe it, but it explained everything—the advanced Galra tech they’d encountered, Zethrid and Ezor’s confusing line of questioning, the discrepancies in the star charts of their Lions. The Paladins had torn rips in reality, battled for their lives in the quintessence realm, and emerged victorious—only to discover that time had slipped away from them like sand through outstretched hands.

“So how did you end up here, helping us?”

Keith’s voice pulled him up. Lance barely stifled a gasp as the world around him abruptly sharpened into focus. His eyes sought Keith’s automatically, but they had already been captured by Acxa, who sat solemnly gazing into the fire, gathering her thoughts.

“Zethrid, Ezor, and I were marooned on the meteoroid we’d taken refuge on for days,” she answered quietly. “Finally, a Galra ship came to investigate Lotor’s last known whereabouts. We took it over. With Lotor gone, it was clear that there was a power vacuum in the Galra Empire. Zethrid and Ezor wanted to exploit that for their own gain, but I knew I had to find my own path….” Acxa lifted her head, her blue-purple hair falling to the sides of her face and her eyes steadily meeting Keith’s as she concluded, “And it led me to you.”

 _Uh, what?_ Lance’s ears felt hot.

Keith’s eyebrows briefly lifted, and then lowered as he earnestly stated, “Thank you…for saving us.” There was a tentative upturn to the corners of his lips. Acxa responded to this with a hopeful smile, an unmistaken softness to her expression as she held Keith’s attention. They acted as if they were the only ones sitting in this damp, dimly lit cave. Lance looked down at his feet, his stomach twisting with discomfort and the heat from his ears spreading down to his neck.

“I hope that this makes up, in some way, for the wrong I’ve done,” Acxa continued, her tone shifting into something pained, almost desperate. “I realize now that Lotor wasn’t the man I thought he was. He preached unity, but in the end, he sought only power.”

“I understand how you feel,” Allura spoke up, a thinly veiled anger darkening her usually bright voice. “I fell for Lotor’s lies as well.”

Lance glanced at her. He had forgotten she was seated beside him. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, her lips set in a straight line. His heart gave a pang of sympathy at the same time a bitter taste flooded his mouth. They had all fallen for Lotor’s lies. Lance’s fingers curled into fists at his sides.

Acxa turned to look at Allura, her dark blue eyes gleaming with a steely determination. “I’ll do everything I can out here to help the Voltron Coalition,” she stated. Allura tilted her head to look at her and then gave a single nod of acknowledgment.

“Wait,” Pidge interrupted from across them, realization dawning on her face, “I haven’t been able to get ahold of my dad on Earth, or Matt and the Rebels! What’s happened to them in the last three years?”

“And if Ezor and Zethrid became warlords in that time,” Allura grimly began, “what else has changed?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Lance found himself wishing that someone had ventured to answer it anyway as a heavy stillness moved to envelop them all. What else _had_ changed? Had the Galra been running unchecked all these years? What _had_ become of the Rebels? Of the Blade of Marmora? Of every planet that had joined their coalition at great personal risk? Guilt pressed against him, making it difficult to breathe. They had all counted on Voltron…and Voltron, albeit unintentionally, had left them to fight alone against an empire that had ruled for over 10,000 years.

 _How many lives had been lost in that time_?

Pidge sniffled, her small shoulders hunched and her light brown hair in disarray around her face. Kosmo limped over to rest his head in her lap. This entire time they’d assumed Pidge wasn’t able to get in contact with Earth because they were too far away, or because their inter-dimensional jumping had interfered with their communications system, but what if there was another, more sinister explanation for the silence? Lance’s head spun, the feeling of being submerged closing over him again. He needed to push it down, say something comforting, go to her, but all his mind seemed capable of doing was replaying his nightmares for him in an agonizing loop. His family’s house consumed by flames…Lance being too late to save them.

He stood up, dimly aware that he must have done so too abruptly as several of them jumped, Coran nearly knocking over the stack of crates he leaned against. “I need some air,” he mumbled, already moving.

Lance pushed aside the worn curtain that was draped over the entrance of the cave and stepped out into the stretching twilight. The Lions lay crumbled before him, the only sign of life from them the faint glow of their lights and a slight hum of energy which slowed and stuttered before kicking up again. They had never looked worse. Exhaustion radiated from them like energy expelled from a dying star. Lance thought he knew how they felt. So much had happened in an expanse of time they had only perceived as a few weeks. The discovery of Lotor’s duplicity; battling in the quintessence field; sacrificing their home to heal the rips they’d rent in reality; nearly losing Shiro; tumbling thousands of feet through the atmosphere onto a fiery, molten planet; being captured and abused by the Galra. All of this, more, and now this too.

Red was restless. Lance could feel it as he neared—a burning impatience and frustration derived from the Red Lion’s simultaneous desire to move and need to rest. He reached out with his mind, placing his hand on one of Red’s massive forelegs and gazing up at him. Their consciousnesses intermixed in that strange way that left him unable to determine whose thoughts and emotions were whose. Red’s agitation softened. He purred low, filling Lance’s chest with warmth.

“Atta boy,” he said with an encouraging smile. “We’ll be back to defending the universe in no time!”

Another contented purr resonated through him, and Lance gave Red a pat before continuing past the Lions with no specific destination in mind. The land was utterly barren, the air a dusty peach that made everything look gritty. What once might have been a thriving supply base had been reduced to ruins and yet more dust. Had this also happened in the past three deca-phoebs? Would it have happened at all if Voltron had been there? And what of Earth? Would they return only to find dust and ruins too? Lance felt his throat tighten. _Mamá, Pa, Marco, Rachel, Veronica, Luis, Lisa, Nadia, Sylvio—_

The sound of heavy footsteps interrupted his thoughts. It startled Lance to find that he was sitting on an outcropping of rock. He didn’t remember stopping.

“Hey, buddy....”

Hunk’s voice. Lance angled his head to look up at him. He was still standing some distance away, eyes carefully averted as he smoothed down his hair with the palm of his hand. Lance forced a reassuring smile onto his face. “Hey, care to join me?” he asked, patting the open space on his left. “If you close your eyes, it almost feels like a couch. Actually, it might be more comfortable than the couch we had in our dorm at the Garrison.”

Hunk chuckled, though still seemed a little wary as he took the seat beside him. “Yyyyyeah, I still don’t know what you were expecting from a piece of furniture we collected from the dumpster.”

“UM, hang on,” Lance interjected, holding up a finger, “it wasn’t _from_ the dumpster, it was _next_ to the dumpster,” he corrected. “There’s a difference.”

“Oh, yeah, huge,” Hunk replied. Lance looked at him sideways, and the two shared a quiet laugh, shaking their heads at the memory of that beast of a couch and the day they’d lugged it back to their room. Man, their Garrison days seemed so far away now—as if they’d experienced them in another life.

Hunk sighed, hunching his shoulders and tucking his hands beneath his thighs. “So, uhh,” he began, staring down at his feet, “is this about Earth?”

“This?” Lance asked, playing dumb.

Hunk turned his head to look at him, his warm brown eyes searching and his headband wrinkling as he knit his brow. “You know...coming out here for some air,” he said. “Because like, I’m freaked out too, man. I can’t believe we’ve been gone for three years and that everyone thinks we’re dead. I mean, do our families think we’re dead too?”

Lance blanched. He had been trying to keep the conversation light to distract them both, but Hunk had jumped right into the deep end and pulled him in too. It was an admittedly needed reminder that he wasn’t alone in his fears. They were all worried about what might have happened during the three deca-phoebs Voltron had been gone.

“I don’t know,” he quietly replied, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the wall of rock rising above them. “I feel like...maybe they’d still have hope that we were out here, somewhere—like Pidge when they told her she’d lost her dad and brother on the Kerberos mission. She didn’t believe it for a second and never stopped looking. I think our families are probably looking for us too.”

“Yeah. I think you’re right.” Hunk kicked his legs back and forth, a slight frown tugging at his lips. “Do you think we’ll make it back?”

“Keith says we will.”

“Does he?”

“Well, yeah,” Lance said somewhat awkwardly, shifting his weight to his left hand and reaching up to scratch the back of his head. “He...sort of promised me he’d do everything he could to make sure we get back. And, I mean, I’m not dumb enough to think he can control what happens to us, but...I don’t know. I believe him. He’ll do everything he can—we all will. So, yeah, I think we’ll make it back.”

“Aw,” Hunk said, tilting his head to the side and smiling. “I always knew there was more to Keith than meets the eye.”

“I guess,” Lance muttered, sitting up. His face was a little warm. It was hard to recall the conversation they’d had on the lava planet without feeling embarrassed. He’d completely broken down and even though Keith had been unexpectedly nice about it and even comforting, he hadn’t wanted to start crying in front of him in the first place. He wanted Keith to feel like he could rely on him without worrying Lance would crumble beneath the pressure. Not that he got the impression that Keith thought he was weak. No, he really had been nice and...uh... _intense_? Keith could be intense when he was making a point and honestly it would make anyone’s heart go kind of crazy, having someone get so close to you that you could feel their breath fanning across your lips.

Lance hopped off the rock, suddenly unable to stay still. “So, uh, what do you make of Acxa?” he asked, kicking a small pebble by his feet. “Do you trust her?”

Hunk hummed as he thought it over, still swinging his legs back and forth. “She did save us, so that counts for something,” he said with a nod. “Plus, it sounded like she was going to focus on helping the Voltron Coalition now and that’s no walk in the park. I don’t think she’d be risking her life for us over and over if she didn’t mean what she said.”

“Yeah, guess you have a point there....”

The Yellow Paladin was silent for a moment, and then he took a deep breath and said, “Kind of weird how she seems to have a thing for Keith though....”

“RIGHT!?” Lance spun so quickly to face him that he overbalanced and stumbled forward a few steps. “She doesn’t even know him!” he continued as if he hadn’t nearly faceplanted. “Like yeah, okay, he’s cute and does a lot of cool things and I’d pretty much follow him anywhere because he’s our leader, but still! This came of nowhere!”

Hunk gaped at him, his eyes wide and his mouth slack before he scrunched up his face and said, “Woah, woah, woah—you think Keith is cute?”

“What?” Lance asked, initially confused, and then felt his face catch fire as he realized, yes, he did just say that. “No!” he shouted. “I mean, I don’t know, I guess? Like in a generic, ‘this person is good looking’ kind of way, but that—that wasn’t the point I was trying to make!”

“You think he’s good looking too?”

“HUNK! HELLO!?!?!”

“Okay, okay,” he said, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “What point were you trying to make?”

“That it doesn’t make any sense!” Lance cried out, running a hand roughly through his hair. “Like I can see how someone could hypothetically develop a crush on him, but she doesn’t even know him. You get me?”

God, she didn’t know him at all. Acxa didn’t know what made Keith laugh, what made him scared, and what made him angry. She didn’t know that on the rare occasions Keith shared something personal, it was important to be patient because doing this made him uncomfortable and he needed the extra time to think before he could speak. She didn’t know the right balance of pushing, but not pushing too hard to encourage him to open up. She didn’t know how to calm him when his temper flared, and she didn’t know how fucking hard he tried to be there for the team even though everything inside him screamed to pull away because being alone felt safer. She didn’t know a damn shred of it, and now she was coming in like they’d known each other for years? Bullshit.

“Maybe it’s like in all the fairytales,” Hunk said with a shrug, distracting Lance from his thoughts. “You know, love at first sight or something.”

Lance rolled his eyes, cocking one hip out and folding his arms across his chest. “Pretty sure at first sight they seriously considered killing each other.”

“I mean, I don’t know what he likes.”

“Huuuuuunk,” Lance whined, stomping his foot, which unfortunately had the Yellow Paladin doubled over laughing. He let out a huff of air, folding his arms tighter. What _did_ Keith like anyway? He realized he had no idea, which meant technically, Acxa could be his type. The thought bothered him more than he cared to admit, especially because a distant part of him understood that it probably shouldn’t have bothered him at all. Who cared if Keith went off with some hot blue alien? Certainly not Lance!

Hunk drew in a breath, reaching up to wipe away tears of laughter. “Anyway, the first time Keith saw Acxa we rescued her from the belly of a weblum.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Yeah, it was like, soon after Keith found out he was half-Galra. I think he was taking a chance on her, in a way. Like he wanted proof that not all Galra were bad or something,” Hunk explained.

Lance frowned. He _knew_ he’d been missing out on some important information. No wonder Keith had reacted the way he had when he found out Acxa had been trying to help them.

“Hey,” Hunk said then, sliding off the rock and coming up beside him to put his arm around his shoulders, “I didn’t get the vibe Keith was interested anyway.”

“I don’t care if he’s interested,” Lance muttered, glowering at the ground.

“Interested in who?”

Lance turned, blinking in surprise as he came face-to-face with Pidge, who was looking up at them curiously. Her eyes were a little red and her glasses were smudged, but otherwise she appeared much like herself as she added, “Also, I’ve been looking for you two for ages. Why’d you walk so far?”

“It’s not that far,” Lance said, while Hunk chimed in, “We were talking about Keith and Acxa.”

“Ohhh. You guys noticed that too?” Pidge asked, stroking her chin. “It kind of threw me off at first, but then I started thinking about it and maybe it’s fate? You know, two half-Galra, lone wolf types trying to find their place in the universe and all.”

Lance shook his head, arms still firmly crossed over his chest. “Keith’s already found his place,” he argued. “It’s with us. We’re a team.”

“Of course, but does he feel that way?”

“I mean, I’d hope so,” Hunk interjected. “We’re like a family. It wouldn’t be the same without him.”

“It _wasn’t_ the same without him,” Lance reminded them, eyes downcast. Not even a little. Though most of the time he felt he understood why Keith had left, the fact remained that when he did, nothing felt as it had before. It was like suddenly becoming color-blind. The world was the same as it had always been, but to him, it could not have looked more different. It left him with the constant feeling that something was missing, something that felt a lot larger than simply the presence of another paladin.

Lance glanced up, and then grimaced as he realized Hunk and Pidge seemed to be having a silent conversation with each other using only their eyes. “You said you were looking for us,” he interrupted sourly, “what’s up?”

“Oh!” Pidge said, amber eyes widening behind her glasses and her cheeks turning a little pink. “Uh, Coran was talking about making some food, so I took the liberty of begging him to wait until I could make sure you didn’t have anything planned,” she finished with a pointed look at Hunk.

Hunk smiled. “Don’t worry, I definitely have something planned,” he said, and then gave Lance’s shoulders a comforting squeeze which he felt likely had nothing to do with meal preparation. It left him feeling overly warm again. He needed to relax—needed to shove all these stupid thoughts away because all they did was bring him down. None of this mattered. There were so many more important things that needed their attention.

“Great!” Lance loudly announced. “Let’s get going then before Coran decides to stop waiting and makes us something with way too many tentacles.”

“If only it weren’t such a long walk back to the cave,” Pidge replied with an exaggerated sigh, poking out her lower lip. Lance glanced at Hunk.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors?” the Yellow Paladin offered.

“Nah,” Lance said with a lopsided smile, “I got her.” Because she’d been crying earlier. Because like Lance and Hunk, she was worried about her family and worried about what the future would hold. Because even though she was only a few years younger than them, she sometimes reminded him forcibly of his baby niece. _Well, not a baby anymore._

“Whoop!” Pidge cheered, punching the air in victory.

“I’d like this to be a reminder that I’m pretty much the nicest guy ever,” Lance told her, bending his knees slightly and putting his arms out to either side.

“Also, the humblest, clearly,” she pointed out. Lance laughed, and Pidge moved behind him, grabbing onto his shoulders and then leaping up as he grasped her legs.

“You good?”

“Yup!” she said, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck.

Lance shifted her a little higher on his hips and then the trio set out, kicking up puffs of dust as they walked. The sun was getting low, peach sky morphing into a rusty orange choked with clouds. It wasn’t the prettiest, but it wasn’t raining fire either so, you know, upgrade.

“Hey, Lance?” Pidge said from his back.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry for implying that Keith would leave us for Acxa because he didn’t feel like he belonged. I don’t actually think he’ll do that. I think this time, he’s here to stay.”

“Yeah, I second that,” Hunk said, lightly bumping Lance’s shoulder with his own. “We’re in this together ‘til the end.”

Lance furrowed his brow, unsure why they were saying this until he realized their words had loosened a knot in his chest he hadn’t known existed. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Relief and gratitude flooded him in equal parts. They were right. They had to be because he needed them to be. Keith wasn’t going anywhere. He wouldn’t leave again. Lance wouldn’t lose him to Acxa, nor to anyone or anything else. They would remain as a team, and maybe the world could go back to looking as it had before—vibrant, colorful, and whole.

~*~

In the low light of the flickering flame, shadows climbed high on the walls, slowly metaphorizing as their sources moved. Keith watched one set of shadows—slender, coiled vines stretching and falling, stretching and falling. He lowered his gaze, watching as Romelle ran her fingers through Allura’s silver hair, separating parts and then weaving others into an intricate design. The two sat chatting amicably with Coran, who offered suggestions and chuckled when Romelle looped two of the braids to make it look like Allura had mouse ears. Kosmo dozed at their feet, his sprained paw (which Keith had carefully wrapped) pulled in close and Allura’s mice nestled into his fur.

Keith glanced up at the shadows again, noting two forms leaning in toward one another—Shiro and Acxa locked in what appeared to be a serious conversation. He should have been over there, learning what Shiro was learning, but his mind was already too overloaded with thoughts. Like an angry swarm of wasps, one would buzz especially loud in his ear before zooming off to be replaced by another. Attempts to quell the hoard only agitated them more.

Laughter rang out above the casual talk. Keith didn’t have to look to know who it belonged to, but curiosity often won the battle over sense. He watched, one eyebrow arched, as Lance fended off a playful attack from Hunk and Pidge. Hunk had one arm outstretched, trying to snatch something from Lance’s hand, while Pidge was climbing onto Hunk’s shoulders, trying to reach out further and grab it first. Lance laughed, leaning back, and then shrieked as he toppled off his crate, the entire group cracking up. Pidge took advantage of the distraction to use Hunk as a springboard and dive tackle Lance, inciting an impromptu wrestling match which was sort of like watching a koala battle a giraffe.

“-ond of him.”

“What?” Keith turned his head, brows furrowing as he gave his mother a questioning look. They’d been sitting in companionable silence after finishing the sandwiches Hunk prepared. He wondered how long she’d been trying to get his attention.

Krolia looked back at him, her eyes searching and her expression one of polite curiosity. “I said, ‘You’re fond of him,’” she repeated calmly. “He makes you smile.”

Keith stared at her as if frozen. He hadn’t realized he’d been smiling—hadn’t realized she’d been watching him. The vague feeling of wanting to disappear into the earth strengthened into a need that consumed him. “It—it’s not like that,” he stammered, and then turned back toward the fire, pretending that it was the source of the warmth that rose to his cheeks.

“I see,” Krolia said thoughtfully, and then, “He’s gentle.”

Keith flushed further, unsure why a mere two words felt so incredibly embarrassing. Maybe it was because people didn’t generally go around calling one another _gentle_. He also wasn’t certain whether she meant it as a compliment or an insult. Maybe neither—only her own observation.

She stood then, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Acxa said she could provide us with updated star charts, as well as information concerning the present state of the Galra Empire. I’m going to go get them from her now.”

“Okay,” Keith mumbled. He peered up at her through his bangs, watching as she gave him a soft smile and then walked over to Acxa and Shiro. The two listened, and then followed her out of the cave, the trio disappearing as the curtain fell back into place. Again, he felt he should have gone with them, but his mind was buzzing worse than ever and he wasn’t sure he’d quite be able to look his mom in the eye anytime soon. _So fucking embarrassing_ , he thought in frustration.

Apparently not embarrassing enough though as Keith found himself helplessly looking for Lance again, only this time the Red Paladin was nowhere to be seen. Keith frowned. Hunk and Pidge were still there, eating something from a small satchel as they hovered over a device Pidge held in her hands. Where had he gone?

The unspoken question was swiftly answered when Keith felt long fingers graze the nape of his neck, briefly flicking his hair. He looked up, startled, only to see Lance meeting his eyes with a slow smirk. “Hey man,” he said, stepping over the container Keith sat on and dropping down beside him. He seemed slightly out of breath, but happy, which Keith took to mean he’d won his battle with Hunk and Pidge. “You okay? You’ve been kinda quiet,” Lance observed.

“I’m fine,” Keith bit out. Too short. Too aggressive. Lance hesitated, his palms pressed against the container as if he was considering getting up. Keith felt his heart clench. _Stupid, stupid_. He didn’t want Lance to go. He needed to say something else. “Sorry,” Keith tried again, dragging his gaze back to the fire. “Just...a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Lance relaxed, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at his ankles as he looked at the fire too. “Feel like my head’s been underwater all day.”

“It’s like wasps for me,” he whispered.

“Wasps?”

“Yeah. Like, buzzing in my head. If that makes sense....”

“It does.” Lance paused. For an anxiety provoking second, Keith thought he’d ask him what he was thinking about when he didn’t currently feel up to sharing, but instead he turned to him and asked, “Want one?”

Keith furrowed his brow, angling his head to look at him, which was a mistake as Lance was sitting quite close and that meant he had a better view of the Red Paladin than he ever allowed himself to have. He should have turned away then, but he didn’t, taking in Lance’s tousled hair, his defined brows and how they framed those unfathomably deep-blue eyes, the slope of his nose, the sharp line of his jaw and the subtle smile gracing his lips. Keith felt too hot in his armor. Everything was too hot.

He swallowed, mouth uncomfortably dry. “Uh, what?” Lance lifted his hand a little higher. Keith’s gaze slid to it, noting that there was a small pouch balanced on his palm. Inside it were dozens of blueberry-sized spheres in varying shades of pink, blue, and green. “What are they?”

“Some sort of candy, I think. They’re like gummies. Hunk and I found them among the food supplies in the Yellow Lion.”

Keith’s eyes flicked up to meet his again. “Is that what you won?”

Lance blinked, looking momentarily confused, but then his eyes crinkled as he realized what Keith was talking about and slipped into an easy grin. “It sure is, but we ended up splitting them.”

“So, it was all for nothing?” Keith asked, nonplussed.

“For nothing?” Lance repeated with an amused raise of his brow. “It was fun.”

Keith wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. He supposed it had looked like they were enjoying themselves.

Lance plucked one of the candies from the bag, popping it into his mouth. He must have realized Keith was staring then because a mischievous smile tugged the corners of his lips. He angled his head down, looking at Keith through his lashes. “Scared?” he asked, his voice low and lilting.

Keith flushed. “No,” he growled, and then grabbed three of the candies at random and shoved them into his mouth. They _burst_ and Keith let out a muffled squeal as a syrupy, sour-sweet taste drenched his tongue. Lance _lost it_ , doubling over in a fit of bubbling giggles which devolved into outright shrieks of laughter that had everyone looking at them in wide-eyed alarm. Keith shoved him, which only made Lance laugh harder. It was then he realized that he was laughing too.

“A little warning would have been nice!”

“But that would have ruined the surprise,” Lance said with an innocent smile. Keith narrowed his eyes, which had the Red Paladin laughing all over again. He was really so ridiculous...and Keith liked him so much. He liked him so much that it physically hurt not to touch him, physically hurt not to be able to capture his face between his hands and cut off his laughter with a kiss, physically hurt not to taste that sour-sweet syrup on both their lips and tongues.

He was staring again. He knew because this time Lance definitely noticed, his laughter quieting and his eyes shying away from Keith’s as he looked down at the satchel of candy in his hands. Lance chewed his lip, brow furrowing momentarily, but then he hitched a smile back onto his face, looking up and holding out the candies again. “Want another?” he asked with a playful wag of his brows.

“Sure....” Keith said cautiously, and then felt his lips twitch when Lance grinned. He rolled his eyes, grabbing only one candy this time and slipping it into his mouth. This time he was prepared, but he still grimaced when the gummy burst on his tongue. “God, these are weird,” he commented.

“Uh, _yeah_. Like Fruit Gushers on speed.” Lance helped himself to another and then laughed. “You should have seen the looks on Hunk’s and Pidge’s faces when they tried them!"

“I bet yours was classic though.”

Lance looked at him, head slightly tilted, and then smirked. “Guess you’ll never know,” he teased, tossing another into his mouth.

“TA-DA! Look at Allura! I finally finished!” Romelle suddenly cried out, leaping to her feet and clapping her hands together. “Go on, stand up!” she added encouragingly.

“Alright, alright!” Allura relented with a laugh, and then stood, looking sheepish as she attempted a pose. Her long hair was pulled into an elaborate braided updo that Keith figured she might have once wore to a royal ball or something.

“So cute!” Hunk exclaimed.

“Oh my gosh, I love it!” Pidge piped up.

Keith supposed it was fine, but he was no longer looking at the princess. He was looking at Lance. He was looking at the way his deep blue eyes widened and shone as they focused on Allura. He was looking at the reddish tinge that spread across Lance’s nose and the apples of his cheeks. He was looking at his parted lips before they closed and curved into a lopsided smile.

“Yeah, Allura, you look...you look really nice,” Lance said, scratching his head. She lowered her eyes but offered him a small smile in return.

Coran began telling them about a hairstyle Allura’s mother once wore that required the use of nearly a hundred juniberry flowers, but Keith could no longer focus, the buzzing in his mind returning in full force and a vague nausea twisting his stomach. He moved to go, but suddenly felt a hand on his pauldron, holding him in place. Keith shut his eyes tightly.

“Hey,” Lance said, his voice hushed and concerned. “Where are you going?”

“I need to check in with Acxa about the information she has. She’s with Shiro and my mom now,” he answered flatly. Keith refused to look back, but he heard Lance draw in a quick breath at the mention of Acxa’s name.

“Uh, okay....” he said, trailing off. “Just—” Lance hesitated, and then quickly said, “You know you can rely on me, right? Like if there’s anything ever bothering you, you can talk to me whenever you want.”

Keith frowned. Was that why Lance had come over to him in the first place? To tell him that? To reach out to him because he’d seen Keith alone and awfully quiet and got worried? Keith balled up his fists. It was better when Lance taunted him; when he tried to provoke him; when he insulted him. He was so much easier to deal with like that. Not like this. Keith couldn’t deal with him like this.

He gave a hollow chuckle, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder and rising to his feet. “Worry about yourself, Lance.”

Keith left, sweeping through the curtain and out into the night. He needed Lance to stop doing this. He needed Lance to stop fucking reaching out. He couldn’t talk to him about this anyway. Never about this. It would fuck everything up. Lance was his friend, but he wasn’t _his_ —never would be his. Lance was in love with Allura and the faster Keith could fucking accept that, the better off they both would be.

His footsteps came to a halt. His heart was beating alarmingly fast and his chest felt tight. Keith let out a slow, steadying breath, drew in another, and then closed his eyes. He reached up, sliding his hand across the side of his neck and then curling his fingers on the spot where Lance had touched him.

Even if, in some truly bizarre twist of fate Lance ever came to feel the same, Keith wouldn’t be able to do this. He wouldn’t be able to let someone into his life like that. A brother? A mother? Those he had been able to manage, but _that_? He couldn’t—couldn’t ever bring himself to lower his walls so fully. Even the thought alone made him want to disintegrate into nothingness.

He couldn’t— _wasn’t_ going to do this. Keith tore his hand away and broke into a run.

~*~

 


	6. Drought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps I cried. Hdfdhfkddfss. Also, the middle part of this chapter is taken from Episode 5 of Season 7. I kind of took the events and some of the dialogue and ran with it? Like wrote it as if telling it for the first time, so I hope it still feels exciting and new despite having likely seen the episode. I’m still feeling out the right balance between doing a rewrite of S7, but also making it my own. If you have any thoughts on that while you’re reading, please feel free to share them! It’s always good for me to know if anything felt boring or repetitive or whatever may be, so I can do better next time. Other than that, I’m honestly very happy with this chapter and I hope you will be too. It’s the longest one yet! Just uh, brace yourself because OOF. ....Ahem, happy reading!

Once, when Lance was six years old, he drew a picture for his crush, a girl with tawny skin who always wore her hair in several braided twists secured with knockers in every color of the rainbow. She was pretty, smart, and always laughing. Six-year-old Lance was smitten, so he had to take a chance. Mind you, he was no artist, but he’d tried very hard, carefully drawing the two of them sitting on the moon and watching the stars. He’d given the drawing to her on the playground after lunch and she had smiled so big that Lance felt like they really had landed on the moon. Then her friend walked over and said, “ _Ewww, Lance likes you!”_ and the girl got so embarrassed she shoved the drawing back into his hands and ran away. She never spoke to him again—the first of a long line of rejections.

Without thinking too deeply into the implications of this, Lance kind of felt the same way now that he had then—confused, hurt, and wondering where he’d gone wrong. He and Keith had been _getting along_ , they’d been talking, and Lance had made him laugh so much, and then Keith had run away too, barely saying a word to him since. He’d tried not to think too much of it. He’d tried to reason that maybe he’d made Keith uncomfortable and if that was the case, it was only natural for Keith to pull away because as Lance had learned, that was what he did, but then the weird dream happened, and he wasn’t so sure anymore.

At first, Lance had thought the dream was nothing more than the result of eating way too many space candies, but then he learned that the rest of the Paladins had _the exact same dream_. They’d been on some horrible game show and Lance had been called dumb, humiliated, nearly fed to something called a Snick, and then thrown into a tank of (oddly exfoliating) boiling acid. All unequivocally shitty, but he’d made the best of it because what else could you do when everything was going so wrong?

Then the gameshow host, Bob (really?), announced that one of them would get to leave while the rest would be staying with him forever and it was up to them to vote for who they thought should get to escape. Lance had voted for Keith. His name had automatically popped into his head and there was a moment in which he’d wondered whether someone else might have been a better choice, but his mind kept returning to Keith, so his was the name he wrote down. When time was called, Bob went one-by-one to reveal their choices and reasoning, which was also fine because Lance had a reason—a good one, he thought:

_“He’s our leader, plus he’s half Galra, so I think he’s, like, the future.”_

Okay, so, calling Keith the future may have been a little...unconventional, but he was! Because whenever Lance thought of the future, he couldn’t imagine Keith not being in it. He didn’t know what he’d be doing or where they would be, but he felt certain Keith would be there. So, yeah, Lance thought Keith was the future and it felt right to say that, especially when he discovered that Keith had chosen _him_. Lance’s chest had bloomed with happiness, just as it had when his crush at six-years-old looked at the drawing he’d made her and beamed as if she’d never seen anything better. Then Keith said he only chose Lance because he didn’t want to be stuck there for eternity with him.

Oh. Well, Lance could understand that! Why in the world would Keith want to spend eternity with him? That’d be so weird. Obviously. But, to go out of his way to _specify_ he wouldn’t want that felt...harsh? To be fair, Keith may have been joking. He may have even been covering up his real reason. Both were plausible, and yet this hadn’t stopped Lance from feeling as though he’d been slapped in the face. A drawing shoved back into his hands. Add the fact that the only words Keith had spoken to him in days were either orders or information pertaining to their mission, and Lance was back to feeling like he had before—hollowed out and wholly pathetic. Because regardless of whether Keith had meant it, hearing it had hurt. It hurt, and that was stupid because it shouldn’t have mattered what Keith thought, but it did, and Lance didn’t know what to do.

So, he tried to focus on the mission too; focus on soothing Red, who was exhausted and irritated; focus on keeping everyone’s mood up as they soared endlessly through uninhabited space; focus on clearing his mind because it’d been far too full lately. It was what kept him going and what kept the others from suspecting anything was wrong. Lance could simply pretend that everything was normal, even as the emptiness inside him grew as expansive as the emptiness of space.

~*~

They were travelling past golden interstellar matter. It effloresced from the yawning darkness, serene and shimmering. Keith idly gazed out of the window but found it difficult to enjoy the sight when exhaustion pulled at his eyelids. He wanted to sleep. He should have been sleeping, but every time he laid his head on his pillow he became fully alert, anxious to return to the pilot cabin to check their course and ensure the way was clear. Even Kosmo’s earnest attempts to soothe him had failed to lull Keith to sleep. So, he sat, fingers clenched around the Black Lion’s controls and his eyes flicking from the way before them to the many screens illuminated at his waist. Everything was fine. The others were playing some sort of game over the comms.

“Okay, okay,” he heard Lance said. “New round! Concentration, no hesitation. Two in a row. No repeats. Category is...foods.”

“Ooh, I got this!” Hunk exclaimed. “I’ll start: apple strudel, fried calamari!”

“Pizza, hot dogs!” Pidge said second, the group evidently having established some order.

“Food goo and uh, food goo! OH, WAIT! NO!”

“Allura!” Lance exclaimed with a laugh. “Yikes. Your turn to start.”

“Alright, alright! Um, concentration, no hesitation. One at a time. No repeats. Category is...animals!”

“I’ll start!” Coran chimed in enthusiastically. “Yalmor!”

“Duflax!” Romelle sang out.

“You guys could totally be making these up!” Lance squawked.

“Guess you’ll just have to trust us,” Allura replied cheekily.

“Penguin,” Shiro continued.

“Platypus!”

“Okay, Lance, now that one does sound fake!” Allura argued.

“Oh? _Guess you’ll just have to trust me_ ,” he playfully quipped. Keith could almost see the smirk likely rising to his lips.

“Mouse!” Hunk cut in before he could be accused of hesitating.

“Dog!” Pidge yelled.

“Xznly Squiwl,” Allura said with a devilish purr.

“WHAAAAT!? UNH-UNH! NO WAY! PICS OR IT DOESN’T EXI—”

“ _Lance!_ ” Keith cut in, unable to stand it anymore. “Knock it off! I can’t even hear myself think!” His words must have come across a lot louder, a lot sharper than he’d intended because a stunned silence fell over them. The only sounds he registered were his own heavy breaths and the blood rushing through his ears. He felt his mother’s gaze on him, perplexed and curious.

“Uh, y-yeah, uh, okay. Sorry. Roger that, team leader,” Lance haltingly replied. “Gotta focus.” Keith felt his stomach sink, but said nothing, redoubling his efforts to scan the star charts for anything he might have missed.

“Not to sound approving of Keith being a dick, but now that it’s quiet I think I hear something,” Pidge said. Keith opened his mouth to retort, but then shut it as an electronic screeching filled each of the Lions. A quick succession of beeps sounded over the comms. “I don’t know,” she continued in a mutter. “It could just be some kind of interference....”

“No, wait! I—I don’t think so,” Krolia said, leaning over Keith’s chair to get a better look at the screens. “Could you amplify the signal?” Keith lifted his gaze in surprise. His mother’s face was partially concealed by her violet hair, but what Keith could see of it was drawn with worry.

“What is it?” he asked. Keith rarely saw her so shaken. The electronic shrieking increased in volume, drowning out any possible response. Krolia bowed her head, her eyes closed in concentration. The screeching was interrupted by intermittent blips.

She lifted her head, eyes widening. “It’s the Blades. Before we were unified, we would use this crude way of communicating with each other. Not many Blades know this code. It must be a senior member.”

Keith’s pulse kicked up. “Kolivan?” he asked, concerned. Would they discover what had become of the Blade of Marmora in the three deca-phoebs Voltron had been gone?

Krolia’s eyes met his, her mouth set in a thin line. “Possibly.”

“What does it say?” Shiro asked from the Green Lion.

“It’s a distress signal,” Krolia answered. “Whoever is sending it is in trouble.”

“It looks like it’s coming from this sector,” Pidge said, pulling up a section of the star charts in all their Lions. Keith looked at it, brows pinched as he searched for anything familiar, but the cluster of tiny dots made no more sense to him than would grains of sand scattered onto the pavement.

“Do we know anything about that section of space?” Shiro asked, likely feeling the same.

“Not without the Castle of Lions’ research library core,” Coran answered regretfully. “We would be flying in blind!”

Krolia straightened, her claws digging into the back of Keith’s chair. “We must go,” she stated firmly, her expression set.

“That’s a pretty severe detour from Earth,” Hunk warily pointed out. It was, but if a Blade was in trouble...if Kolivan was in trouble....

Keith shook his head, his mind made up. “If Kolivan is there, then maybe there will be more Blades,” he argued. “We need all the help we can get to reach Earth.”

No one disagreed. Keith trusted that they wouldn’t. It wasn’t in their nature to leave someone in trouble, and there was nothing more they wanted than to return home.

“I’m setting our course now.”

~*~

Lance wasn’t sure what he expected to find when they decided to follow the Blade’s distress signal. A crashed ship? Galra fighters filling the sky? Another planet conquered? Any of those, but not this. Not miles and miles of devastated terrain. Not crumbled buildings, felled homes, and ugly gashes where sword had met brick, narrowly missing its target. The signs of a massacre were as obvious as if it’d been a field of gravestones. A chill whispered down Lance’s spine. He tried to catch Keith’s eyes, but the Black Paladin remained distant, always moving away whenever he sensed Lance approaching. Lance tried not to let this bother him. He tried not to let a lot bother him.

“Some of this damage looks like it’s from magic,” Allura observed, running her fingers across scorched clay.

“Everyone, stay alert,” Shiro stated grimly.

Lance gripped his bayard a little tighter, holding it ready at his side. Rubble cracked beneath their boots with every step. How far did this destruction go? Was this how the entire planet looked? What could have happened to create damage on such a large scale? Lance began to wonder if coming here had been futile. He caught a glimpse of a collapsed home, in which a large beam had fallen onto what looked to have been a bassinet. Lance’s stomach turned. He couldn’t imagine anyone having survived this. If it weren’t for the distress signal still broadcasting, he would’ve said that they hadn’t.

The group cautiously wove their way through several more blocks of ruin before Kosmo came to an abrupt stop, his ears pulled back and his hackles raised. He growled, displaying several sharp teeth. The hairs on the back of Lance’s neck rose.

Keith stilled, turning his head to look down at the cosmic wolf. “What is it?” he murmured.

At this Kosmo took off, bounding down the street and up a pile of rubble before he leapt into the air as if gravity was an afterthought for him and not a law of physics. Keith bolted, brandishing his bayard sword and ignoring several protests to wait. It wasn’t until Lance heard his name shouted that he realized he’d run too, his blaster tucked securely against his chest. Keith skidded across the dirt in a desperate attempt to slow and then sharply turned, Lance following on his heels. He could hear the pounding footsteps of everyone else rushing after them, weapons drawn and charging.

Up ahead, Kosmo had a masked figure pinned beneath his paws, saliva gathering in the corners of his mouth as he snarled.

“Good job,” Keith praised, pressing the tip of his sword against the stranger’s throat. Lance skid into place at his right, panting slightly and training his blaster at the stranger’s head. Hunk and Pidge soon followed suit, the Yellow Paladin’s canon blaster carefully aimed too.

“Who are you?” Keith questioned in a growl to rival Kosmo’s. “Who’s broadcasting the signal?”

“It was me!” the stranger cried out, holding up his hands. His voice was low and warbled, coming from behind what appeared to be an eyeless mask with two tusk-like protrusions.

“Impossible! You’re no Blade of Marmora!”

“I will explain all if you would put down your weapons.”

Keith looked ready to take a beheading over an explanation any day, but Krolia stepped forward, placing her hand lightly on his arm. “Let’s see what he has to say.”

To Lance’s slight surprise, Keith lowered his sword. “Alright,” he said, blazing indigo eyes still fixed on the man. “Let’s see.”

The group followed him to a cave system, traveling deep within them until they reached an open cavern with a campfire burning. Tension hovered thick as the smoke in the air. The uneasy feeling prickling across Lance’s skin had yet to let up. Something felt wrong, but he couldn’t say why or how. Allura stood rigidly on his left, Coran behind her and with an unmistakable frown visible beneath his orange mustache. They all watched as the masked stranger piled more logs onto the fire, save for Pidge, who consulted the holographic display projected by her armor gauntlet.

“This is where the signal was coming from,” she confirmed. “Somewhere below us.”

“You are clever,” the stranger said, taking a seat on a large scrap of metal. “But I wouldn’t expect less from the Paladins of Voltron.”

Lance tensed, sucking a small breath in through his teeth. “You recognized us?” he asked uneasily.

“Of course, of course,” he answered with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Though, I am surprised to see you. All were certain you perished. I, for one, am glad that this was false. It’s been so long since I’ve had...guests.” Lance stifled a shiver. The masked stranger said _guests_ with a hunger that had him taking an unconscious step back.

“Well, thank you for your hospitality,” Shiro began, brows furrowed, “but who are you? What happened here?”

The stranger angled his head so that his eyeless mask was trained on Shiro’s face. “Bloodshed happened here. Death happened here. I am Macidus. This is my home planet. But now I am the only one left alive here.”

Lance turned at the sight of movement from across the cave. Krolia was making her way toward a heavy curtain, her footsteps slow and methodical. He tried to catch Keith’s eye again, but he only scowled when he noticed, directing his attention back to Macidus. Lance clenched his jaw. The hurt and emptiness he felt were beginning to coalesce into an angry void that scorched his throat. What the fuck was his problem? _What did I do wrong?_

Krolia gasped, a short, horrified noise that had everyone’s heads whipping toward the back wall. She’d opened the curtain. Dozens upon dozens of blades were lodged deeply within the stone. Keith started, the blood draining from his face and his eyes opening wide. Lance felt some of his anger dissipate. He must have known at least some of them, and even if he didn’t there were so many. Blades stretched up the length of the wall until swallowed by shadows.

Keith’s mother whipped out her gun. The high-pitched whine resonated in the small space as she leveled the barrel at Macidus’ head. “What are you doing with these?” she snarled.

Macidus was unmoved. He picked up a metal rod from beside him, poking at the fire. Red-hot embers floated up into the dark. “I hang them in honor of their sacrifice,” he mildly explained. “They died trying to protect the universe.”

Krolia’s defined brows lifted slightly, but she didn’t lower her gun. “How did it happen?”

Macidus claimed that it all began when Voltron disappeared, the power vacuum this event created destabilizing much of the universe. Galra had evidently turned on each other, warlords and pirates becoming the rulers of the land. It was unknown what became of Haggar, but what was clear was that her Druids continued her work, carrying out her final orders to destroy every member of the Blade of Marmora.

He went on to say that the Blades were called to this base to make a final stand, Kolivan among their numbers. Macidus and his people worked to help them fortify the base, but the Druids found them sooner than they’d hoped. They besieged the base with magic and after a long, deadly battle, the base fell. Macidus’ people were slaughtered. In the final battle, Macidus was buried beneath a collapsed structure and when he regained consciousness, it was to find the fight was over and he was the only survivor. Since then, he stated he’d been sending Kolivan’s signal in the hopes of finding any remaining Blades.

Krolia put away her gun. “I recognize every one of these Blades,” she said softly, her eyes fixed on the makeshift memorial. “I trained many of them myself. If I had only been here.” She pulled one from the wall, her face crumbling as the memories it brought washed over her. “Kolivan.”

“Their service will not be forgotten,” Keith said, looking over her shoulder. It was then that the blade emitted a hiss, a stripe down its length blazing a brilliant purple before petering out.

“It’s flickering!” Pidge exclaimed. “What does that mean?”

Krolia’s eyes were round. “A Marmoran agent’s life force is connected to their blade. We just saw it glow, so it means he must be alive!”

Lance startled as Macidus rose to his feet. The group stared at him, their thread of hope looping into a noose as Macidus leered, “Just...barely.”

Macidus took a step forward, his attention shifting to Keith. “Your hand is looking much better.”

 _What_? Lance looked at Keith too. The Black Paladin’s nose was wrinkled, his brows tightly knitted.

“My hand...?” he asked slowly, as if beginning to piece something together.

Macidus placed his palm on his chest. “What’s this?” he asked with mock hurt. “You don’t remember our fight?”

Keith’s eyes suddenly widened in recognition. He bared his teeth, letting out a dangerous growl as his sword bayard rematerialized in his hand. “You’ve been using that signal to draw Blades in!” he roared. The sentence had the effect of a match to kerosene, every one of them shifting into fighting stances, weapons drawn and muscles taut. Macidus cackled, as if he’d never seen a more amusing sight. It rankled Lance’s nerves, made him position his blaster more securely on his shoulder.

“Kolivan proved to be useful after all,” Macidus said, delighted, and then vanished before their eyes. A heavy stone hovered in the space he’d vacated, and then began to fall.

“NO!!!!!!!” Krolia screamed, reaching out. The stone struck the ground, splitting in two. Blinding pink light emanated from it, first in a gelatinous orb and then expanding, expanding— Lance’s heart leapt into his throat. A brighter flash of aqua blazed briefly before snuffing out.

 _Keith_.

The pink orb exploded.

~*~

Keith gasped, rematerializing in what looked to be a deeper tunnel in the cave system Macidus had claimed. His head throbbed as he scrambled to piece together what happened. Macidus was one of Haggar’s Druids—the same Druid Keith had fought on that Galran transport hub. He had a magical artifact. Keith had seen it falling before Kosmo teleported him away. He’d recognized that too, from his time with the Blades.

The others would be suspended in time, their bodies still aging while their consciousnesses remained frozen. Life without awareness. Decay without awareness. Nothingness bleeding into nothingness. Fear held Keith’s heart, its grip unrelenting. He tangled his fingers in Kosmo’s fur, focusing on the pressure in his hands as he tightened them. He needed to free everyone. He needed to save Kolivan. He needed to not fucking spiral right now.

A flash of purple sparked in Keith’s peripheral vision. He darted forward, staying low, fingers never straying far from Kosmo’s thick fur. The feel of it grounded him, even through his gloves. Kosmo sent warm reassurance his way and then nudged his mind, directing him to an empty space beneath the bridge ahead. Keith slid into it, falling into darkness and landing with a muted thump. The luminescent markings around Kosmo’s eyes and the back of his ears glowed turquoise and bright. Keith craned his neck to peer up through the wooden slats.  He could hear the scrape of the Druid’s footsteps as he neared, the screech of a blade dragged across rock.

Macidus knew he was here. He was toying with him, taunting him. Keith grit his teeth, drawing out his Marmoran blade. He wished Lance was here but shoved down the thought as quickly as it’d risen. Keith held his breath as the bridge above him creaked, Macidus taking his first step upon it. A bead of sweat slid down Keith’s face. The Druid paused halfway across, sending a bolt of lightning careening ahead. Keith ducked, covering his head as a massive explosion shook the cavern. Pebbles scattered across the ground, a shadow lengthened—

“AHHHHHHHH!” Keith screamed as Macidus stabbed his stolen blade through the bridge, the razor-sharp edge centimeters from his face. He threw his arms around Kosmo and the two vanished in a burst of light.

They were back in the cave. Keith took off, Kosmo at his side and the sound of his footsteps echoing off the rock. If he could only— “AHHH!” Macidus rematerialized before him, bringing Keith to a skidding halt. He lifted his sword but anticipated the Druid would teleport and whirled. Macidus appeared as Keith’s blade came down in a ferocious arc. It split the Druid’s eyeless mask in two, revealing pointed teeth and pale, apricot eyes. The markings on his grayish skin glowed lilac as he cackled and then disappeared. Keith cast his gaze about, heart pounding a bruise against his chest.

“There is no escape but death!” Macidus jeered. Keith twisted and then dove beneath the Druid’s arm, narrowly escaping having his torso rent in two. He rolled, then jumped back to his feet. Macidus materialized on his left. Keith heard the _zing_ of metal through air before he saw it, countering. The blow vibrated through his body. Kosmo snarled, lunging for him, but the Druid teleported before teeth could find sinew. Keith bolted down the nearest tunnel, Kosmo on his heels. He stopped at a fork, then yelped and chose one at random when Macidus appeared beside him in another flash of purple.

“Kosmo!” he shouted. Keith shut his eyes as aqua light consumed them.

They were in a deeper chamber now. The only light emanated from two glowing rods affixed to the ceiling. There was something— _someone_ hanging from them, facing the ground with their wrists and ankles bound behind them and appended to metal beams above.

“Kolivan,” Keith breathed, staring up at him in shock. “I’ll get you out of here!”

He hurried forward and then stifled a shout as Macidus rematerialized, a predatory grin stretching across his wrinkled face. “Our high priestess, Haggar, has forsaken us because of your treachery. But after I kill you and the other Paladins, Haggar will allow me to return!”

Keith and Kosmo exchanged glances, their minds perfectly synced. He set his jaw, and together they charged in a blaze of incandescent light.

~*~

Billowing clouds of dust smothered the air, rushing into Lance’s mouth and throat as he breathed. He doubled over, seized by a violent coughing fit. A stone had fallen to the ground. Keith and Kosmo had vanished. The glowing orb had detonated. Then nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Lance’s ribs ached from the force of his coughs.

“Allura! Are you okay?” Pidge choked out. Lance looked up, his heart freezing as he caught sight of the princess ahead. She was on her hands and knees, face contorted with agony. Pink, pulsing light encased her—the same pink light that had emanated from the stone. She’d absorbed it all to save them.

“Pidge!” Allura yelled, her voice strained. “Lock on to Keith’s location!”

Lance paled, staring as the Green Paladin brought up a holographic screen. Her fingers zoomed across its surface, odd trills and beeps sounding through the dust. “He’s directly below us!” she declared.

Allura nodded and then slowly rose to her feet. “STAND BACK!” She lifted her fist high and then swung it down in a powerful arc, shattering the stone beneath them and dispelling the energy from the orb. Pale blue light shone through the rifts. Coran, Romelle, Shiro, and Krolia took off as the Paladins looked at one another and summoned their weapons. For a moment they stood, anticipation setting their teeth on edge, and then they were falling.

Great slabs of rock plummeted and slammed into the earth below as the Paladins used their jetpacks to land safely on the rubble. Lance searched for Keith, but dust choked the air again, making it impossible to see. He thought he could hear Macidus speaking, but Lance heard him as if his head was underwater until he finally caught sight of Keith. He was sprawled on the ground, seemingly unconscious. Lance choked, stepping forward, but was forced to freeze as Macidus raised his sword, lip curling as he studied them.

“I’m going to enjoy making Kolivan watch your end,” he taunted. _What?_ Lance glanced up, gasping as he noticed Kolivan suspended from the ceiling like a display in a museum. The image turned his stomach. What kind of sick son of a—

The Druid vanished and then reappeared behind them. Lance only knew because Hunk shouted and spun, launching a rapid-fire attack on him with his blaster cannon. Macidus teleported again. He reappeared on Hunk’s left, bringing up his sword, but Pidge yanked the Druid back with her grappling hook. Lance lined up a shot, but as he pulled the trigger Macidus materialized behind him, grabbing him by his neck guard and hurling him across the room.

Lance slammed against the cave wall, the breath knocked out of him and a searing pain freezing his limbs as he slid to the ground. He struggled to inhale, watching in horror as Macidus tossed Pidge aside and then teleported behind Allura, attacking her with a vicious shock of magic. She screamed, falling to her knees. Lance couldn’t get up. Every breath felt like it was being forced through his lungs.

He caught movement from the corner of his eye. Red armor. Keith. Keith had gotten up. He was standing in the middle of the cave, his body rigid and his eyes closed. God, what was he doing?! Macidus let loose a mad cackle, rushing for him in a series of flashes as he teleported faster than Lance’s eyes could track.

Keith’s eyes snapped open and a snarl tore from his throat as he hurled his blade like a tomahawk. It lodged deep within Macidus’ chest. The Druid’s smile gave way to shock. Massive cobalt bolts of lightning sprung from his body and then, in a blinding burst of white light, he was gone. The Marmoran blade fell to the ground with a clatter.

Lance stared at Keith. He knew he was staring. He couldn’t look away. _Damn, Keith_ , he thought, a strange flutter in his stomach. _Damn._ He couldn’t say that though so, “Good job, Keith!” Lance managed between shallow breaths. Keith didn’t reply—didn’t look at him.

It shouldn’t have been surprising.

It was.

It shouldn’t have hurt again.

It did.

Lance lowered his eyes, disappointment tasting like a cold whistling wind, ash from a firestorm, and candies sour-sweet.

*

They rescued Kolivan from the cruel restraints which bound him and brought him back to the main cavern. Pidge ran scans to check his vitals and declared that he was in pretty bad shape, but would be okay. He’d recover. Lance believed this but doubted it would be so simple. Kolivan had lost countless fellow Blades, been tortured and imprisoned, and was wracked by guilt that it was his distress signal that had lured them there. Keith had told him there was nothing he could do, but Lance still saw it in Kolivan’s eyes—he felt responsible for what happened and would likely spend the rest of his life seeking atonement.

“The coordinates I gave you, the Altean colony,” Keith brought up haltingly. “Were you able to find it?”

Kolivan grunted wearily. “I sent a team. There was nothing there. Just an empty facility. They were all gone.” Allura stiffened from beside him. More loss. More bad news. Lance wanted to believe that maybe they’d escaped, but then realized they’d never known that they should. Romelle had been the only one among them to uncover the truth. So then, what happened? Something larger was at play and, as usual, they likely wouldn’t figure out what until they were swept up by the tidal wave.

“Judging from the blades that Macidus collected, he may have delivered a critical blow to the Marmora, but he did not defeat us entirely,” Krolia said. She was kneeling beside Kolivan, attempting to comfort him. Perhaps she recognized the look in his eyes too.

The leader of the Blade of Marmora sighed deeply. “I must find the others. The universe needs us now more than ever.”

Krolia looked away, a touch of indecision crossing her face before it solidified into firm resolve. “I will join you. We will revive the Blade of Marmora together. We’ll just need to find a ship.”

Lance stilled, his eyes flicking up to glance at Keith. He looked as though he’d been doused with ice water, his lips parted, his eyes wide, and his forehead creased. The scar sweeping across his left cheek stood in stark contrast to his skin as he blanched. It took everything in Lance not to go to him.

“The Druid has a cruiser stored not far from here,” Kolivan said. “We can use it to reunite the Blades.”

A rare smile lit up Krolia’s face, her violet eyes sparkling. “That’s our first bit of luck in a long time.” She put her hand on Kolivan’s shoulder, her expression softening into something that had Lance looking away. “Rest,” she murmured.

The team filed out, all save for Keith who lingered to speak to his mom. Lance stood by the campfire they’d all sat around not long ago. It had burned into nothing—a pit of blackened char. He ran a hand along the back of his neck, uneasy. Krolia would be leaving. Well, not leaving exactly. They had to find the rest of the Blades—rebuild their numbers. The Blade of Marmora was a critical force against the Galra Empire. They would need them if they ever hoped to overthrow their regime. Plus, she would return. Lance was sure of that. Krolia was not the most expressive person he’d met, but it was obvious she loved Keith more than anything in the world. Lance was glad he had her...and sad they would have to be separated again when Keith had only just gotten her back.

“You okay, buddy?” Hunk asked, coming up on Lance’s left and putting an arm around his shoulders. “That Druid really got you.”

“Kinda sore, but yeah, I’m good,” Lance said. He offered Hunk a smile and pushed into him a bit. “Plus, now I know how a racquetball feels.”

Hunk grinned, showing off white teeth. “Nice. You can cross that one off the list then.”

Lance chuckled, and then felt the smile slide off his face as he saw Keith emerging from the backroom without Krolia. Shiro was by his side, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Keith smiled slightly and then began to walk, an unspoken signal to the others. They were leaving.

“Hang on,” Lance muttered. He slipped out from under Hunk’s arm, jogging up to Keith and then falling into step beside him.

“Hey,” he greeted. Keith looked askance at him, one eyebrow subtly arched. Lance blushed a little. “Uh, just—just thought I’d...uh....” Why was this so difficult? Lance swallowed hard. “How are you?” he finally managed.

Keith snorted in disdain. “I’m _fine_ , Lance,” he answered, each word cut short and sharp. “How many times do I have to tell you this?” Another raise of his brow, this one pointed. An implication that he was stupid?

Lance flushed. The angry void tore open again, sending hot flames searing through his chest. His fingers twitched. Vivid red flared in the corners of his vision. “Well fuck you too, Keith! Goddamn it!” he shouted.

Everyone froze. The air was miniscule shards of glass and Lance was breathing them and it hurt. His body was trembling. Keith opened his mouth, and Lance braced himself, ready for whatever fucking bullshit he spit back, but then he pressed it firmly closed and walked away.

“Right, go ahead and run!” Lance yelled after him. “It’s what you do best.”

Keith didn’t stop, didn’t turn, but he thought he saw the Black Paladin flinch. Good. Fuck him. Fuck Keith! He was so goddamn tired of this! He hadn’t even done anything! All he tried to do...all he wanted.... Lance’s eyes stung.

A hand softly nudged his. Lance turned, ready to lash out at whoever wanted to bother him now, but then felt his anger instantly dissolve. Pidge. Literally the only person he wouldn’t rage against because he knew damn well she could hold her own, but she still seemed so small to him. Her face was drawn with concern, her amber eyes bright beneath furrowed brows.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, and then walked away too—back to the Lions, back to the mission. Nothing else mattered. The sooner they could be done with this, the better off they would be.

~*~

Keith’s hands were shaking, his breaths coming in too fast. He tightened his grip on the Black Lion’s controls, urging her to surge forward and then slow once they were back on course. The other Lions trailed behind him on either side. Keith couldn’t see Red. He figured this was on purpose. He told himself this was good. This was what he wanted.

“So....”

The Black Paladin looked over his shoulder, brows pinched and the beginnings of a frown tugging at his lips. Shiro was leaning against an illuminated panel, fingers tapping on his thigh and his eyes focused on what was apparently a fascinating section of the ceiling. Keith narrowed his eyes. “So...?” he asked, impatient. He was wound up too tight, ready to explode.

“Are we going to talk about what happened there?” Shiro slowly asked.

“What? With my mom? I support her decision,” he said, and meant it. “I’m glad Kolivan will have someone, we need the Blades, and I know that my mom will come back.”

Shiro’s expression eased, his eyes finding Keith’s. “I’m really glad to hear you feel that way, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. Try again,” he said gently.

Keith snorted, turning back around to glower into the darkness before them. He hated that he was being rude to Shiro of all people, but he couldn’t stop the words that tumbled from his mouth, couldn’t let go of the frustration that gripped him. “There’s nothing else,” he stated.

“No? How about what happened there with Lance? And the fact that you’re being an ass to him? Are we going to talk about that?”

“No.”

“So, you admit you’re being an ass then?”

Keith stilled, and then scowled, the spark of anger within him expanding into a steady flame. “No, I don’t,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m just saying we’re not going to talk about the fact that _you_ think I’m being an ass to Lance.”

“I don’t get it,” Shiro continued as if Keith hadn’t spoken. “I thought you wanted to fix things between you.”

“We have,” Keith said stiffly. “We talked. Aside from...that, we get along fine, and we’ve never worked better together as a team. I trust him to have my back and I’ve got his. What more do you want?”

Shiro’s gaze bore into the back of his head. His voice was low and serious as he said, “You tell me.”

Heat rose to burn Keith’s face, the muscles in his shoulders tensing. “It’s not—”

“Like that, I know,” Shiro interjected dryly, finishing his sentence for him. “You’ve said that before. I didn’t believe you then, and I don’t believe you now.”

“Well, that’s your problem,” Keith muttered. “And even if it was like that, this talk is fucking pointless because one, I wouldn’t want that anyway; and two, he’d never be interested!”

“One, that’s a blatant lie, and two....” Shiro sighed heavily, sounding weary. “I don’t know how Lance feels, but I know he wants to be closer to you.”

Keith whipped his head around so quickly his neck cracked. “What do you mean you _know_?” he demanded. Shiro looked horrified, his mouth dropped open in a would-be comical ‘o’ and his dark gray eyes round. “Did Lance tell you that?”

Shiro grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck and averting his gaze. Apparently, the floor was now the latest fascinating sight. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” he mumbled. He looked as though he wanted to kick himself.

“Well, you did, so spill. Where’d you hear that?”

“Keith....”

“Shiro....”

A crease formed between Shiro’s brows. “He came to talk to me, in confidence I should add, while I was recovering.” He hesitated, and then sighed again, running his hand through his snow-white fringe. “Look, I’m not going to tell you everything because he trusted me not to, but...what I will say, only because I think it’s been obvious, is that Lance feels like there’s been a distance between you two since you returned, and he doesn’t want that distance to be there.”

Shiro deliberated for another tick, and then added, “He mentioned wanting to go back to how things were before you left, which _correct me if I’m wrong_ , was exactly what you wanted and exactly what you meant when you said you were going to try and fix things between you, so my turn for questions— _what happened_?”

Keith turned back around in his seat, lips pressed together and staring at nothing. It was. It was what he’d wanted, but it got to be too much. Lance was too much—too bright, too funny, too considerate, too...everything he wasn’t and wanted so badly. A hard lump formed in his throat. He must not have been blinking enough because his vision was blurring.

“Keith...” Shiro murmured. He walked over, kneeling on Keith’s right and placing his one hand on his shoulder. “Talk to me. I can’t help you if you don’t let me.”

“Why does this matter so much to you?” he snapped, hot tears escaping his eyes as he gasped. “Why? Why the fuck can’t you let it be?” Shiro was silent for so long that Keith figured he wouldn’t answer. He reached up under the visor of his helmet to dry his cheeks. His ribcage felt too small for his lungs. He grabbed the Black Lion’s controls again, squeezing.

Shiro drew in a breath, and when he finally spoke, it was in a voice hushed and distant. “It matters to me because as I’m pretty sure you know, I had something special once, and sometimes I feel like if I could go back and do it all again, I would make the same decisions I did then, and sometimes....”

He trailed off, brows pinched, and then shook his head. “I don’t want to see you have to live with the same uncertainty, Keith. You shouldn’t have to wonder what might have been when the chance to see for yourself, is right there in front of you.”

Keith closed his eyes, mouth slightly open as he breathed and silent tears falling down his face. Shiro never mentioned Adam. Never. If he hadn’t seen the two together, hadn’t heard the shocked whispers about their breakup before the Kerberos mission, he might never have known. He hadn’t paid enough attention. Shiro had been sick, and Keith had been worried about losing the only person he had left. And then he did lose him, and everything he saw was through a haze of vicious red, until one day something called to him, deep within the desert. _Blue_. Lance’s original Lion. He’d needed that call then, thought maybe he needed him now, but....

“I can’t,” Keith whispered miserably, fingers cramping from his overtight grip. “I really can’t. I’m so—so _scared_ I can’t—” His voice broke on a sob, his shoulders shaking, and his head falling forward.

Shiro put his arm around him and Keith crumbled into the embrace, his hands finally leaving the controls as he wrapped his arms around him and tried to hide his face in his neck. It was difficult, armor clacking and in the way, but he could still feel Shiro hugging him as close as he could. When Keith’s sobs subsided into sniffles and shaky breaths, Shiro pulled back some, placing his hand on Keith’s shoulder and holding his gaze.

“You have every right to be scared, Keith,” he said, his voice soft, but steady. “You could find out he doesn’t feel the same. You could lose him, which I know is exactly what you fear, but I wouldn’t be saying any of this if I thought taking a chance would hurt you. Lance wants to be closer to you—and I suspect that means a lot more than he thinks—but whether you’ll let him, is up to you.”

Keith shook his head, and Shiro tried again. “Hey, no one said you had to jump right in, okay? You can take this slow. You can test the waters, see what feels right. You could start just by trying not to be an ass to him.”

“That makes everything harder,” he protested.

“I know, Keith,” Shiro said heavily, “but if you don’t at least do that, you’ll lose him anyway.”

Keith’s eyes briefly widened, fresh tears stinging them, but then he looked away, shrugging Shiro’s hand off his shoulder. “Maybe I deserve that,” he rasped.

“No, you don’t, Keith. You really don’t. And if you don’t believe me, at least believe Lance.” Keith warily glanced up, and Shiro’s lips quirked as he reminded him, “You told me he called you _the future_.”

Keith’s mouth dropped open, and then he scowled, pushing Shiro away. The man toppled onto his ass, but hardly seemed to notice because he was laughing so much. Keith continued glaring but admittedly felt a spark of warmth glow low in his chest. God, he still had no idea what that meant, but it did sound...oddly romantic. And he liked that Keith was half-Galra. A slight blush rose to his cheeks, but then he began to frown.

“I told him I didn’t want to spend eternity with him,” he mumbled.

Shiro shrugged, and then smiled, looking up at him. “Just tell him that wouldn’t be long enough.” Keith laughed, shaking his head. He could never do that. He’d fall into the earth as soon he tried to speak.

“It’ll work out,” Shiro assured him, rising to his feet and brushing off his armor with his hand. “Take your time. Talk to him. You’ll see.”

Keith sincerely doubted it. The odds were stacked against him. Lance was seemingly still in love with Allura; he wasn’t sure if Lance was even into guys; he’d pushed Lance away, hurt him, insulted him; and every time Keith felt them getting closer he lashed out even though he didn’t mean to. Keith’s heart gave a heavy pulse. He sincerely doubted it, but some small betraying part of him, thought maybe he could try again. Slowly. So slow, and then maybe...maybe....

 _I think he’s, like, the future_.

Keith looked out the window, where a hundred thousand tiny stars managed to shine through the inky black ether. _Lance_ , he thought to himself, _I think you’re the future too_.

~*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments!? Questions!? Let me know! ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! This chapter is actually completely original! Oh my, my, my. One of these scenes was even among the first I ever planned out for this story. Which...yeah. Damn. That needed to be resolved like, yesterday. 
> 
> Oh, and as a heads up, this chapter is completely in Lance’s point of view, while the next will be completely in Keith’s point of view. This chapter and the next also occur simultaneously, although depending on length, Keith’s might move the story further along. Anyway, I’m very excited to share this so, LET’S GO, LET’S GO! Happy reading! Hope you’re ready for *clenches fist* FEELS.

Lance stood beneath a thickly woven canopy of moss green and plum—leaves the size of dolphins arcing high above. Light barely reached the forest floor, casting them all in dappled shadow. Lance cautiously approached one of the gargantuan trees, noting a sticky red-purple sap bleeding from deep gashes torn into the bark. He resisted the urge to touch it. For every bit this planet was beautiful, it felt equally as dangerous, like the vegetation itself could on a whim consume them.

“Found you!” Two hands latched onto Lance’s wrist with surprising strength. He turned, facing gemstone purple eyes accented by pale blue Altean markings.

“Romelle?”

“You fell behind.”

Lance blinked, and then slowly registered the absence of their group. Romelle let go of him, glancing up at the trees. “It’s easy to get distracted,” she mused, head tilted. “It’s a lovely planet.”

“It feels like the whole planet is a giant Venus flytrap,” Lance found himself saying.

Romelle shifted her attention back to him, tapping her chin with one finger. “What’s that?”

“Oh, uh, it’s a plant on Earth,” Lance ventured to explain, scratching his neck. “When it’s open its brightly colored and pretty, so insects land on it and when they do, it snaps closed and well, digests them.”

“I see....” Romelle began to comb her fingers through one of her long, blonde pigtails. “And um, are these monsters _everywhere_ on Earth?” she asked with unconvincing casualness.

Lance chuckled, though it sounded sort of hollow to his ears. “No, and they’re like, tiny. They can’t hurt you.”

“Well, that’s a relief!” she declared, letting out a sigh. “Now, as much as I’d love to hear about more vaguely horrifying Earth species, we should catch up to the others. Everyone stopped to look for you.” A wrinkle appeared between Romelle’s brows as she gave him a considering look.

“Oh,” Lance mumbled, his face warming some. “Right. Sorry.”

The two set off, carefully picking their way through the dense brush and not saying much. The group was only supposed to be here for a few vargas to collect materials and then they would depart. Lance’s stomach flooded with guilt. He was holding them up. He needed to get himself together, needed to focus, but he felt like he’d been wandering in a mist since their stint on the ruined planet where they’d found Macidus and learned what had become of the Blade of Marmora.

Lance wasn’t completely dense. He knew it was likely because of the blow-up he’d had with Keith and he knew equally as well that he still felt off because they hadn’t talked about it. They’d exchanged a few words, about the mission mostly, and they were devoid of the sharp edges that had previously marred them, but otherwise the rift between them felt larger than ever. Lance was beginning to feel like he should give up. It was sort of pathetic, wasn’t it? Trying desperately to be friends with someone who clearly didn’t want the same from you? They were still able to work together as a team, so maybe that was all that mattered. Maybe that was all Keith wanted.

“Lance! Where were you?”

The Red Paladin flinched. So much for conversations devoid of sharp edges, though he supposed he deserved this one. “I....”

“He got distracted,” Romelle helpfully supplied. “It’s a fascinating planet. Did you have a good look at the moss on those mottled trees? It almost looks as if it’s breathing!”

Keith gave Romelle a blank stare, and then his brows pinched as he turned back to Lance. “Are you okay?” he asked. Part of Lance wanted to snap at that—wanted to say something bitter like, “ _Oh, so it’s alright for you to ask me if I’m okay, but not the other way around?_ ” but he didn’t have the energy to do so. His anger had long since burned away, leaving him in this hazy mist where it was difficult to feel much of anything at all.

“Yeah,” Lance answered, not quite looking at him. “Just got distracted, like Romelle said. Won’t happen again.” He felt Keith’s gaze on him for what seemed like a long time. Or at least, it was long enough that he found himself shifting from foot to foot, studying the mulch-like ground with unnatural intensity.

“Okay,” Keith said quietly. He stepped to the side, his voice louder and more authoritative as he began to address the group at large. “We’ll be splitting up today, so we can finish here as quickly as possible. Pidge confirmed the planet is more or less safe right now, but I don’t want to stick around long enough to see if that changes after the sun sets. We’ve already seen signs of some pretty big predators.”

Lance thought back to the gashes he’d seen on that tree. Now that he thought about it, they did look like claw marks. He folded his arms across his chest. The sooner they finished here the better indeed.

“Hunk, I’d like you to take Shiro and focus on gathering anything that might be fit to eat,” Keith instructed, looking at each of them in turn.

“Nice!” Hunk exclaimed, turning to face Shiro and lifting his hand. “Gimme five!”

“As if I could give anything else,” Shiro dryly remarked, and then reached up to high five him, the slap of their hands muted by the dense foliage.

Lance perked up a little, lifting his head. “Wait, are we making jokes about it now? Because I could totally _lend a hand_ with that,” he said with a playful wag of his brows.

Keith snorted, and Lance couldn’t quite stop the warmth that bloomed within his chest when he heard the stifled laugh. Shiro, meanwhile, narrowed his eyes and flatly stated, “Only I can joke about it.”

“Aw man!” Lance whined, dramatically tipping back his head. “Keith likes my jokes.”

“Someone has to,” he said.

Lance looked at Keith, bemused. Were they...? Wait, were they talking again? Or something? This was a good sign, right? A lopsided smile curved his lips, his heart skipping a hopeful beat. “So that someone is you then? Cute,” he commented.

Keith’s mouth fell open and then abruptly closed, a pretty shade of pink rising to his face. He gave Lance a questioning look, but Lance didn’t get what he was asking so he answered it with his own look of confusion. Had he missed something? Was there something wrong with what he’d said? Keith let out a huff of air that ruffled his bangs. It gave him a vaguely windswept look that suited him.

“Anyway,” Keith continued, “Allura, you’re with—"

“Actually,” the princess said, stepping forward somewhat warily, “I’m not certain what you initially had planned, but would it be possible for me to be paired up with Lance today?” This time it was Lance’s turn for his mouth to fall open as he looked at Allura in surprise. Warmth crept up his neck. Why would she specifically request to be paired up with him? Allura’s rich brown skin was dusted with cinnabar as she blushed. Lance felt his mouth go dry. _Um, what?_

“Uh....” Lance’s eyes flicked back to Keith. His expression was oddly blank, but he thought he could see the ghost of a grimace on his face. Shiro shifted awkwardly. Kosmo pushed his snout into Keith’s palm. The Black Paladin blinked, glancing down at the wolf, and then looked back up at Lance, indigo eyes catching a patch of dappled light. “Is that okay with you?” he asked. Lance blushed further, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice higher-pitched than he’d intended. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, of course.” Awkward or not, Allura was his friend and she must have had an important reason for wanting to partner up with him today. Trying to guess what this reason was, however, twisted Lance’s stomach into enough knots to give a port a run for its money.

“Right,” Keith said mechanically. “Okay. You two will focus on finding the uh, the—”

“Lilearian crystals!” Coran chimed in cheerfully. “Think of them as rechargeable batteries. We should be able to use them to power up some of our smaller devices, so they don’t have to draw power from the Lions themselves.”

“Yeah,” Keith confirmed, leaning down some to give Kosmo a scratch behind the ears. “You should be able to access more information about them using your gauntlets.” He took a deep breath, and then turned to Pidge. “You’ll be with me then, collecting medicinal plants.” Pidge nodded, though her expression was somewhat skeptical. Although they were all friends, the two weren’t exactly close. Not when compared to everyone else anyway.

“Coran and Romelle,” he continued, looking at the two in question, “we received a lot of information from Acxa that we need to sort through—”

“Leave it to me!” Coran said, twirling the end of his mustache. “I’m an expert at research and analysis!”

“And I’ve actually been quite curious what she gave us,” Romelle admitted. Lance had the feeling she was hoping to find information on Lotor. He could hardly blame her.

“Good,” Keith said with a vague nod. “We’ll meet back here in three vargas. If you’re not here by then and we haven’t heard from you, I’ll send out a search party.” He looked at them all, his face imploring. “Please don’t make me do that.”

Lance smiled, finding the sentiment endearing. “What if _you’re_ not here by then and we haven’t heard from you?” he asked with a raise of his brow.

Keith hesitated. “Uh... _you_ could send out a search party?”

“Nice.”

“And if both of you don’t show up, _I’ll_ send out the search party!” Hunk announced, pointing at his chest with his thumb.

“Atta boy, buddy!” Lance said, holding a fist out to him. Hunk bumped it with his own and then they both struck a pose, Lance aiming finger guns at Hunk while he gave Lance two thumbs up.

“What if none of you show up?” Romelle asked worriedly.

“Then we’re fucked,” Keith deadpanned, which was so unexpected that Lance choked on the laugh that bubbled up from his throat.

“Keith....” Shiro said tiredly, massaging his temple.

Coran put his hands behind his back, bouncing lightly on his toes. “I assure you, I wouldn’t let any of you perish!”

“Nor would I! It would be Romelle and Coran to the rescue!” the blonde Altean announced, punching one fist into the air while she set the other on her hip.

“I think we need a theme song,” Coran mused.

“YES! How about something like—”

“We really should be going!” Keith interjected loudly. “Three vargas.” The group murmured understandings and began to depart, but Lance froze in place as Keith turned to him again. His heart was beating at a pace that would rival a hummingbird’s wings.

Keith remained about a foot away, looking at Lance’s boots as he mumbled, “Don’t uh, don’t fall into a ravine this time.” Lance wrinkled his nose. He made it sound like he’d nearly fallen to his death on purpose. But Keith looked, if anything, nervous and there hadn’t even been a hint of an edge to his tone. So....

“You be careful too.”

Keith’s eyes darted up to meet his, and then he slowly nodded before walking over to Pidge. Lance chewed his lip in thought. He didn’t want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed, but that had seemed...promising? Then again, even if did feel friendlier, it was still mostly about the mission and it was only a couple of interactions. It was stupid of him to get his hopes up...wasn’t it? Lance’s heart sunk. If Allura hadn’t interjected, would he have been paired up with Keith? Would they have finally been able to talk? Not that he was mad at Allura, but....

“Are you ready to head out?” Allura asked, stepping up beside him and giving him a curious look.

Lance offered what he hoped was a convincing smile. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good,” Allura said, and smiled prettily back at him.

*

According to the information they’d been provided with, the lilearian crystals required plenty of sun to grow, so Allura and Lance headed west, where the dense forest began to give way to more open spaces filled with low shrubbery. They were looking for a flower, within which the crystals were supposed to form. It reminded Lance of a sort of land pearl, though he hadn’t seen one yet to confirm. They hadn’t seen much of anything, truth be told. Plenty of greenery, but no signs of life apart from more claw marks left on trees. It made Lance’s fingers twitch at his side, ready at a moment’s notice to summon his bayard.

“The flowers grow in closely packed bunches, so we should recognize them as soon as we see them,” Allura thought out loud. Lance nodded, and then inhaled sharply when he heard the distinct noise of several twigs snapping at once. His eyes flicked in the direction of the sound, and then he grabbed Allura, pulling her against him and placing his hand over her mouth.

He could feel the angry retort she wanted to say against the palm of his glove, so he quickly murmured, “Shh...ahead.” Allura glared forward, and for a moment her face remained pinched in annoyance before she suddenly froze, her body rigid against his.

There was some sort of beast skulking through the undergrowth. It moved like a feline, but was more reptilian in appearance, with pitch black scales and short limbs that extended outward from its body before angling down into clawed feet the size of truck tires. Crimson barbs traveled down the length of its spine and tail, an equally crimson tongue flicking out of its mouth to sense odors in the air. A cold sweat broke out on Lance’s skin. The beast rubbed its flank against a thick tree trunk and then resumed its trek, vegetation crunching beneath its heavy steps.

The two stood, unmoving, longer after the creature was no longer in sight. Finally, Lance lowered his hand from Allura’s mouth and stepped back. “Sorry,” he said quietly.

“It’s alright,” she whispered back. “I didn’t even see it.”

“Come on. Let’s go, but not that way.”

Allura nodded and the two doubled back some before finding another trail. Lance watched as a lizard-like creature scurried into a bush, frightened by their presence. He took the fact that there were other animals about at all as a good sign.

“Oh!” Allura cried out, hurrying ahead. “Here are some!” Lance followed, kneeling beside her in the dirt as they sat alongside a large bed of flowers. They reminded Lance of plump tulips, all in varying shades of purple and pink. They smelled just as sweet.

“How do we get the crystals?” Lance asked. He had admittedly not read through most of the materials. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, obviously, but he found it difficult to maintain his attention whenever he read, his mind always skipping off to other unrelated topics while his eyes stubbornly moved across the page. It made absorbing anything a frustrating and time-consuming task, especially if the text was boring. If his question bothered Allura though, she didn’t show it.

“Like so,” she said. Allura ran her finger along the length of a rosy petal and as she did, the flower unfurled, revealing a pale pink, rhomboidal crystal. She used two fingers to pluck the crystal from the flower and then held it out on her palm for Lance to see. The petals slowly closed shut again.

“Does it hurt them?”

“No,” she answered. “They grow new ones—like fruits.” Lance nodded and then imitated her actions on another flower, watching as its moist petals curled back. Its crystal glimmered even in the gloom.

The two gathered in relative silence, storing the crystals in pop-open bags they’d brought as they ventured furthered into the flower bed. Lance was beginning to have a bit of fun with it, running his fingers over multiple flowers at once and then doing it again because he discovered they’d close back up whether you took the crystal or not. Allura saw what he was doing and smiled softly before returning to the task at hand.

Lance tickled another flower, and then paused, staring at its crystal for a long moment. This one was not pale pink, but rather a distinct, stormy gray. He carefully plucked it, and then held it in a patch of sunlight, slowly turning it from side to side. When he did, it glinted a deep blue-purple. Lance wondered if it might be defective and whether he should toss it, but.... He felt too entranced by it to do so.

“Hey, Allura?”

“Yes?”

Lance placed the crystal on his palm and held it out. “Is something wrong with this one?”

Allura looked at it and then smiled, shaking her head. “No, not at all. It’s simply a rare color variation. Some believe they bring good luck, but I feel it’s more accurate to say it takes luck to find one,” she said with a light laugh.

“Oh.”

“You could keep it, if you’d like. I’m already keeping this one,” she said, holding up a crystal that was a much brighter variation of pink than its counterparts.

Lance peered at the stormy crystal again. For some reason he thought it might be something Keith would like, but the idea of gifting it to him made him want to crawl into an early grave. He’d probably laugh. Or pelt him with it. Well, no, maybe not, but still. He twirled it between his forefinger and thumb, watching as the colors shifted in the light. It was really kind of beautiful. Something about the color reminded him of home. Lance slipped it into the small utility pocket at his waist. He could always toss it later or throw it with the rest.

“Lance?”

“Hm?” He glanced up, noting that Allura had settled down within the flower bed, her legs tucked beneath her and to the side. She held the bright pink crystal in her hands, absently twisting it in her fingers.

“Would you mind if we talked for a moment?”

Lance felt his heart drop to his midriff. The swooping sensation made his head spin a little. “Oh, uh, no I wouldn’t mind,” he made himself say. He felt like he was hearing his voice from far away.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she said, gesturing before her.

“Right.” Lance shifted some flowers out of the way and then sat cross-legged, idly running a finger over the petals of a flower in front of him. It opened, but there was no crystal within. He must have already collected that one.

“The mice told me,” Allura said in a small voice, looking down at the crystal in her hands. “They told me what you said about me—about how you felt. I should have spoken to you sooner, but everything kept happening so fast.”

Lance’s mouth went dry. His heart seemed to be beating in slow motion. It made his thoughts gather sluggishly, the words not stringing together fast enough. “Allura...”

“You’re honestly so sweet, and handsome, and brave, but....” She bit her bottom lip hard enough that Lance could see the red imprint her teeth left when she released it. “I think, part of me still loves him?” A tear streaked down Allura’s face and she hastily wiped it away with the back of her hand.

“Not...not _him_ , but the person I thought he was,” Allura corrected firmly, clenching her hands in her lap. “The man I believed Lotor to be. The Lotor that is? I hate him. I hate him more than I ever thought it was possible to hate someone and after finding out what he did? I will _never_ forgive him.”

“But there’s still a part of me that remembers how it felt before I knew. And I miss that part as much as I hate that I do. So, I wanted to say, in some time, I could maybe see myself having moved on. I could maybe....” Allura looked up, her bright aquamarine eyes finally meeting Lance’s. His heart sunk even lower. “I could maybe see myself falling in love with you, but you deserve so much more than the suggestion of a possibility. It isn’t fair to you, and it isn’t fair to myself.”

“It’s okay,” Lance heard himself say, as if his voice were an entity outside of his body. “I mean, I get it and I think I kind of...already knew? Maybe part of me always knew, the minute you, well, fell in love with Lotor. And yeah, that hurt, but somewhere along the way, I think I like...accepted it? So, I’m okay, Allura. I really am.”

“Are you?” she asked hopefully. “Because I’ve felt so, so stupid lately. Just the most stupid girl who’s ever—”

“Hey, hey, you’re not stupid—”

“Yes, I am!” Allura shouted, throwing down the crystal in her hands. “I’m in love with the _idea_ of a man—a man who turned out to be the worst kind of person who could ever exist! It doesn’t even make sense!”

“Uh, yeah, it kinda does,” Lance insisted, his eyes wide. “It’s not like you can magically turn off your feelings, you know? Like when I realized you’d fallen for Lotor I didn’t instantly stop liking you. It took time and like, I don’t know, figuring things out. And yeah, that’s not the same because you’re not a power-hungry murderer and never would be, but....” He was rambling. He knew he was rambling. He drew in a deep breath.

“Like, you hate him. Of course you hate him!” he exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. “But that wasn’t the guy you fell in love with. And the guy you thought you fell in love with? Well, yeah, it makes sense that you’d miss him. It makes sense that you’d miss the person you thought he was and that you might even still love him. You’ve gotta like, reconcile the two, and that takes _time_. It has nothing to do with how smart you are.”

Lance chewed his lip, feeling vaguely self-conscious. “Do you...do you see what I mean?” He wasn’t sure he’d done a very good job explaining himself.

To his immense relief, Allura nodded, a smile even tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I see what you mean. Thank you, Lance.”

Lance genuinely grinned. “Juuuuust doing my part to make the universe a better place,” he said with a casual shrug. Allura laughed lightly, reaching up to dry her face again.

“Here I thought I’d be comforting you,” she said. “Turns out you’ve had to comfort me instead.”

“It’s okay,” he said, somewhat sheepishly. “I’m just glad you’re smiling again.”

“Me too.” Allura ran her finger along another flower and then looked up, her face thoughtful. “The crystals...they do something else.”

“What?” She plucked the crystal she’d unveiled and then closed her eyes, pressing it to her lips. Lance watched with his brows furrowed in confusion. “Uh....”

“Here.” She opened her eyes and then passed the crystal to him. Lance took it. Even through his gloves he could feel that it was warmer than it had been before, a soft glow radiating from it.

“Neat....” Lance said uncertainly.

Allura laughed again, shaking her head. “No, no, press it against your lips.”

Lance squirmed a little. It sounded weirdly intimate, but he mirrored her actions, closing his eyes and then pressing the crystal to his lips. All at once he heard Allura’s voice in his head saying, “ _I’m glad we’re friends, Lance,_ ” followed by vague, ghostly impressions—the flowers around them, his own face, affection, relief, Altea, juniberry flowers. The images dropped as suddenly as they’d begun. Lance opened his eyes.

“They communicate messages?” he asked, tilting his head.

“Yes? Only also no. They carry only brief messages and it’s more accurate to say they capture a quick imprint of the person’s mind—of whatever they were thinking at the precise moment they touched the crystal to their lips. So, I focused all of my attention on saying that I’m glad we’re friends.”

“I got other stuff too though,” Lance awkwardly admitted, giving the crystal back to her.

“Yes,” Allura said, slipping the crystal into her bag. “The mind is never occupied by a solitary thought. There’s a constant flow of information—memories, your own stream of consciousness, the signals your body receives from the environment, your emotions. It takes countless deca-phoebs of practice to send crisp messages and the effort is hardly worth it. Lilearian crystals work as batteries, yes, but they’re generally considered a children’s toy, though I suppose their most popular use is being exchanged among young paramours.”

Lance felt his skin heat up. Yep, he was definitely _not_ giving the crystal to Keith. Holy shit.

“Shall we start heading back?” Allura asked then, looking a bit embarrassed, but noticeably happier. “I think we’re gathered enough crystals.” She held up her full bag as evidence.

Lance held his up too. “Yup, I think we’re good.”

The two headed out, traipsing their way back through the flower bed and setting a course for the agreed upon meeting spot. Allura hummed a pleasant tune as they walked. It dawned on Lance that he hadn’t seen her look quite so lighthearted in some time. It made him feel guilty for not trying to reach out earlier—for letting his own feelings of awkwardness keep him from being a good friend to her. He’d talked to her before they went to confront Lotor, but he’d failed to follow up afterward. Then again, as Allura said, everything had happened so fast and with very little downtime between. No wonder she’d requested to be paired up today. When else would they have had the chance to speak in person?

It made Lance wonder when he’d get the chance to talk to Keith, but he hastily shoved that thought down. It was up to him. Lance had tried so many times and every attempt pushed him further away. If Keith wanted to be friends, he’d come to him. Lance resisted the urge to sigh, instead distracting himself by pulling one of the pale pink crystals out of his bag. He did his best to clear his mind, and then briefly closed his eyes, touching it to his lips: _I’m glad we’re friends too._

“Allura?”

She looked over at him. “Hm?”

Lance handed her the crystal and she beamed, gingerly taking it from him. They stopped, and then Allura held the crystal up to her lips. A sparkling smile appeared on her face, and then she sharply gasped, the crystal tumbling from her fingers. Her eyes snapped open, and Lance was startled to see they’d welled up with tears. “Oh,” she whispered.

“Wha—what happened!?” Lance asked, panicked. “W-was the crystal defective? Did I do something wrong? Did it hurt you? Are you—"

“It’s alright, Lance!” Allura interrupted, holding up her hands. “It’s not your fault. I suppose I should have told you. If one is experiencing a particularly strong emotion when they transmit the message, the person receiving the message gets...flooded by it, so to speak. It’s not always a bad thing. For instance, if you were experiencing extreme happiness and you sent a message, the person receiving it would likely be overcome by the giggles or something, you see? In the case of other emotions, however, the effect can be...less pleasant.”

Lance felt mortified, his skin burning from head to toe. “I’m sorry," he stammered.

“As I said, it’s not your fault. You can’t help how you feel and it’s only a momentary flood—not even one's own emotions. It can just be...startling, if you weren’t expecting it.” Allura’s silver brows lowered, a frown pulling at her lips. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t notice. I should have.”

Lance averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t even know what you got flooded by, so—”

“Sadness,” she murmured, and Lance’s stomach turned. Allura swiped her cheeks and then looked up at him. “It’s about Keith, right? I wasn’t certain. It was so quick. More emotion than anything else.”

Lance desperately wished that Allura would stop talking—that maybe that hell beast would come back and devour him. “It’s not a big deal,” he insisted. “The whole flooding thing just probably made it feel worse than it is.”

“Sure, but the feeling is still there, and it would have had to be quite strong to have that effect in the first place,” Allura pointed out, concerned. Lance sighed, staring up at the thick canopy of leaves above. It was starting to get dark. They needed to get back. “It surprised me, you know, to see him acting that way toward you. For a while there I even thought....” She trailed off.

Lance angled his head to look at her, eyebrow raised. “Thought what?”

“Well, I’m not sure,” she began, lacing her fingers in front of her, “but that the two of you perhaps...admired one another?” Allura watched him warily, as if somewhat afraid what his response would be, but Lance didn’t even know what she meant by that. That what, they looked up to each other or something? It was then that Lance realized Allura was blushing again, and then her meaning slammed into him with the force of a speeding train. He thought he even gasped.

“What? Why would you— _what_?” Lance’s brain was fucking short-circuiting.

“So, it’s...not like that?” Allura asked, appearing genuinely puzzled. “Oh, is it because he’s male? Everyone has different preferences of course and if yours—”

“Stop! I—. No, that’s—” God, his face was on fire. He took off his helmet, running a hand through his hair. “That’s...that’s not it,” he admitted faintly.

“You look highly embarrassed though. Is this something to be ashamed of among humans?”

“No,” Lance said firmly. “No, I just....” He shook his head. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, but it wasn’t exactly common knowledge either and he was pretty sure that was the first time he’d ever said it out loud, which was really messing with his head right now.

Hunk probably knew, given the number of times he’d been caught staring at guys and been teasingly elbowed in the side by him, but he didn’t think anyone else did. Lance...generally didn’t hit on guys. For some reason, he found it a hell of a lot more intimidating. And perhaps that, more than anything, was what embarrassed him. Lance, too intimidated to flirt? Nuh-uh. No way. Couldn’t let anyone know that. He didn’t even know why. It just...scared him—hence all the stupid staring before he’d snap out of it, scowl, and move on.

Lance tapped his fingers against his helmet. “What made you say that? Did you see it in my head or something?”

Allura waited for Lance’s eyes to meet hers. “No,” she answered softly. “I can’t see anything you don’t see yourself.”

Lance made a face. He didn’t know what that meant either, but he also didn’t get a chance to think about it as he suddenly heard muffled yelling from his helmet. Allura paled, and Lance slammed his helmet back on, heart thrumming in his throat. A crackling noise came over the comms, and then they heard Hunk’s voice, at times smothered by static.

“—ONE OUT THERE? WE NEED BA—.....SHIRO, WATCH OUT!”

“HUNK!?” Lance shouted. “Hunk, can you hear me?”

“I’ve tracked down their location!” Allura said, a yellow dot pulsing on the holographic display illuminating from her gauntlet. She zoomed out with her fingers and two more dots flashed into view, green and red. Their old color codes. “Pidge and Keith are already on their way. They must have been nearby.”

“We’ve gotta go too, come on!” They shoved their bags of crystals into a bush so they wouldn’t slow them down. Allura marked the location on her map to retrieve later, and then they bolted. Radio silence dominated the comms, but every now and then a shout would come, only to be overwhelmed by static again. Hunk’s helmet was clearly malfunctioning.

“—EITH! DON’T....ITS TAIL....RUN!” Lance cursed viciously, uncertain whether he’d even spoken Spanish or English as he put on another burst of speed. A deafening roar sounded over their helmets, causing them both to flinch and nearly stumble. Lance vaulted over a fallen tree while Allura leapt to clear it, her heavy footsteps following his as they ran.

“They’re down there!” Allura called out, pointing. They skidded to a halt at the edge of a steep, rocky wall, breathing heavily and staring down into the gorge below. It was inundated by long, verdant grass, but Lance could see Pidge, Hunk, and Keith fending off the same horrifying beast they’d crossed paths with earlier. It stalked toward them, a rumbling growl in its throat and its barbed tail flicking through the air like a whip. Shiro was leaning against a tree, a trickle of blood running down the side of his face. Allura jumped down to join them, slowing her fall with her jetpack, while Lance knelt, summoning his bayard sniper rifle.

He peered through the scope, willing his breathing to ease as he surveyed the scene. Pidge attempted to use her bayard’s grappling hook to incapacitate the beast, winding it around its back legs. It tripped and then roared, clambering back to its feet and lunging forward. Pidge yelled as it knocked her off her feet, dragging her along. Righting her with her energy whip, Allura yanked her back just as the beast spun round. Hunk shot at it with his cannon blaster, but to Lance’s shock the beast deflected the hits using its many barbs, fanning them over its body like a giant, arachnoid umbrella. Keith yelled and waved, luring it toward him. The beast charged, and Keith tripped on a boulder, his bayard sword flying from his hands as he fell. He scrambled backward, attention locked on the creature’s serrated teeth.

Lance pulled the trigger. The shot struck the beast between the eyes, the massive beast stumbling and crashing to the ground. The impact reverberated throughout the gorge. Lance didn’t breathe until the dust settled and he could see Keith looking back up at him on the ridge. His face was startled and pale in the scope.

Lance swallowed, fear having made him numb. “You okay there, Samurai?” he asked over the comms.

“Yeah,” Keith said, his voice raspy and out of breath. “Thanks to you, Sharpshooter.”

He closed his eyes, trying not to think of the way these words made his heart leap, trying not to think of how they made his stomach flutter. It was perfectly ordinary to be happy one’s friend was okay. Allura was mistaken. It wasn’t like that. Right...?

_I can’t see anything you don’t see yourself._

*

At sundown the air was perfumed with a cloying, floral scent that made them sneeze and scrunch up their noses in distaste. It emanated from the pulsing moss Romelle had pointed out earlier, luring small creatures into its spongy depths. Lance watched as a crab-like insect scuttled up the mottled bark of a winding tree, only to be entrapped and consumed by the odorous parasite. He took a quick step back, shuddering. It was definitely time to go.

Lance glanced around. Coran and Keith were attending to the cut on Shiro’s head, which he’d suffered when the beast nicked him with a barb on its tail. It wasn’t deep but had bled enough to make Keith’s face turn a pasty-white. Hunk and Pidge were sitting cross-legged on the ground, making repairs to Hunk’s helmet, which had gone on the fritz when one of the lasers from his cannon blaster ricocheted off the beast and hit his head instead. He wasn’t hurt, but it’d done something to mess with the communications system. Allura, meanwhile, was showing the lilearian crystals to Romelle. They’d fetched them after the battle, making small chat and returning to the base directly afterward. She didn’t bring up what they’d discussed earlier. Nor did he. Lance’s thoughts were back to feeling slow to form.

He sensed Keith’s approach before he saw him. It was the way he moved, the way his footsteps faltered as he neared, as if debating running away instead. Lance knitted his brows, pretending to be interested in another insect crawling up the tree. His pulse skittered and skipped.

“Hey....”

“Hey.” Keith was standing close beside him. He didn’t have to be that close. If Lance so much as sighed, their pauldrons would bump. It occurred to him that he could simply move, but for every bit of him that felt tense, an equal part was relieved to have him near.

“Some creepy planet,” Keith remarked, likely having followed his line of sight.

“Yeah,” Lance replied. He slowly licked his lips and then turned to look at Keith. In the shadows that lengthened as the sun set, Keith’s eyes appeared dark gray, but they gleamed indigo whenever they caught a fading medallion of light. They stared at one another for a long moment, quiet, and then Lance said, “So...are we officially talking again?”

Keith’s heavy brows furrowed, his lips slightly parting. Lance’s heart was in his throat. The Black Paladin shifted, and then slid his gaze back to the tree. “If you’ll let me,” he mumbled.

Lance sucked in a breath. “Of course I’ll let you!” he rushed out. “Why wouldn’t I let you? I never wanted to stop talking in the first place! I—” Lance became acutely aware of the feeling that someone was watching them. He glanced over, and then flushed as he realized Allura was openly staring, her mouth open and her eyes wide with curiosity. She squeaked and turned away as she realized she’d been caught, cinnabar once again dusting her cheeks.

“Oh....” Lance looked back at Keith, frowning at his change in tone. He suddenly seemed small, looking anywhere but at him. “Okay,” Keith said absently. “I’m going to go gather everyone now. We need to head out.”

“Okay....” he said, confused.

“Don’t fall behind again.” Keith offered him a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes at all, and then walked off without saying another word.

Lance gaped, feeling his mouth hang open. What was that? What happened? Were they still good? Why’d he run off like that? _Again_. Lance’s throat squeezed, his eyes stinging with disappointment. Now what had he done? And why did this bother him so much? He pulled off his helmet again, drawing an uneasy breath.

_I can’t see anything you don’t see yourself._

*

Lance leaned back in the pilot seat of the Red Lion. They had long since returned to the cold, fathomless reaches of space, traveling through a sector that had very little light. The darkness pressed in on them, unhindered and undeterred. Lance twirled the rare crystal he’d found between his fingers, watching as indigo glinted within stormy gray. The red lights of his Lion gleamed within them too, drawing memories of fire falling like shooting stars and air as heavy and warm as the exhales of a dragon. Lance furrowed his brows and twirled the crystal a little slower. He thought of big, pretty eyes, embers of a firestorm reflected in their depths. Indigo....

Every fiber of Lance’s being froze, his heart giving a slow, thudding beat. The color of the crystal had reminded him of home. It slipped from his fingers, striking the ground with a dull thwack and clattering as it rolled out of sight. Lance slammed Red’s autopilot button, getting up and racing toward the back. Just a fucking coincidence. Just a pretty color. That was why he'd been so drawn to the crystal. It didn’t— _couldn’t_ have anything to do with him.

_Not Keith. Anyone but Keith._

He tore off his helmet, unlatched his armor. The pieces fell to the ground, scattered like bones. If he liked Keith, then he was clearly cursed. Cursed to always fall for the person most perfectly suited to reject him. A curse of the cruelest sort for a person who had only ever wanted to find love.

Keith...Keith barely tolerated him! _Please not Keith_. Why was it Keith?

Lance peeled off his flight suit and stepped into the claustrophobic shower each Lion housed. A five-dobosh timer initiated as soon as water far too cold sluiced over his head. Five doboshes. He’d get five doboshes. Lance dropped his head into his hands and sobbed.

*

Once, when Lance was fourteen years old, he tried to talk to his crush, a boy with jet-black hair who had the unfortunate fashion taste of styling it into a mullet. He was cute (despite the mullet), smart, and always doing the most amazing things. Fourteen-year-old Lance was smitten, so he had to take a chance. Mind you, the boy was reclusive and rarely talked to anyone, but Lance tried very hard, learning the boy’s schedule and even puzzling out when would be the best time to approach him (after his Self Defense class, when he seemed the most mellow).

Lance had been nervous, but finally summoned up enough courage one fateful Friday afternoon, when he caught up with the boy after his class and introduced himself. He put on his best winning smile and was the perfect picture of approachable friendliness. Then the boy spun on his heel and snapped, “ _Why are you talking to me?_ ” and Lance got so embarrassed he pretended he’d spoken to the wrong person and ran away. He decided then that the boy was an ass, conceited, a total show-off, and that Lance would show him by becoming better than him at everything. And then, maybe, the boy would talk to _him_.

It never happened. The boy ignored him no matter how much or how hard he tried to improve, even after it was obvious that they’d become established rivals. Lance was never good enough—the first in a long line of rejections to make him cry.

He made himself forget he’d ever liked him at all.

*

Lance laid supine upon his bed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyelids. He’d changed into his pajamas too fast, the silk clinging to his still damp skin. The scent of the Altean castle soap they used overwhelmed him—too sterile and too sweet. He breathed out slowly, counting first in English, and then back in Spanish. Lance repeated this for several rounds, until the tension ebbed from his body.

Keith didn’t hate him—more than tolerated him. Their relationship was strained right now and so confusing that Lance could scream, but Keith didn’t hate him. They’d been close before he left for the Blade of Marmora. They’d joked and confided in one another and worked well as a team. Then he returned, and they still felt dozens of miles apart, but...not always. Sometimes, it felt like it once had. Sometimes, it felt like more.

Keith had saved him from falling to his death, ran careful fingers through Lance’s hair as he slipped in and out of consciousness. Keith had listened to him and comforted him—managed to keep his nightmares at bay. He’d pressed his forehead against Lance’s and they’d laughed when their noses touched. Keith had shivered when Lance’s fingers grazed the nape of his neck, playful.

But Keith had run away too—had ignored him and shoved him back every time Lance tried to follow. He didn’t understand. Lance wanted to understand. Red purred low, comforting. It surprised Lance as much as it soothed him. He was usually the one reaching out to the oft moody Lion. Affection filled his heart. _I’ll be okay_ , he thought. He just needed to talk to Keith. Lance needed to talk to him and he’d been friendlier lately so maybe this time if he reached out he wouldn’t get bitten. God, he desperately needed to talk to Keith.

Lance shouted as a heavy weight suddenly landed on his stomach, his eyes flying open as he sat up and gasped. “Kosmo? What are you—”

The two vanished in a burst of brilliant turquoise light.

~ * ~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who’s that screaming? OH, IT’S ME. Please shout with me—I’m dying. I HAVE NO ONE IN REAL LIFE TO SHOUT ABOUT MY STORY WITH. Even incoherent key smash comments will revive me. NEXT CHAPTER IS IN THE WORKS. I sincerely hope you enjoyed this one- it was truly an emotional roller coaster, haha.


	8. Red Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I’m back with another update! Finally. This one gave me a LOT of trouble because I realized, after two weeks of trying and failing to write this, that it probably should have come before Chapter 7. Fuck me. On that note, as a reminder this chapter takes place at the same time as the last chapter, but this time we’re seeing everything from Keith’s point of view. I did, however, pick up from where Keith leaves with Pidge because the opening scene was too long to repeat and switching the POV added nothing of value. So, off with Keith and Pidge we go!
> 
> Again, ideally, this chapter should have gone before Chapter 7 and maybe you’ll see why I say this as you read, but it’s too late now. Ugh. Just...bear with me, and bear with Keith. He doesn’t know, okay? He doesn’t know! It’ll all work out in the end.

Nature had always been soothing to Keith, its quiet settling around his shoulders like a hand-knitted blanket. Not ‘quiet’ as in sound necessarily, although that was important too, but ‘quiet’ as in a peacefulness that finally permitted him to breathe. This planet was not quiet. In sound it was hushed, like the bedside of the dying, but in feeling it was wild, harsh, threatening. It whispered, _“I see you. Do you see me?”_ and then smirked, satisfied with the knowledge that no, you did not.

Keith’s eyes followed the twisting trunk of a towering tree. Up and up and up, seeking sky, but finding only gnarled branches and leaves that looked borrowed from a time in which dinosaurs thrived. Light reached them solely in scattered, stubborn specks. It gave the disorientating sensation of being deep beneath the water.

Perhaps it was this that made Keith’s chest feel as though something heavy was pressing against it. Perhaps it was this and not the fact that Allura had personally requested to partner with Lance today. Perhaps it was this and not the blush that had risen to both of their faces when this request was posed. Perhaps it was this and not Keith’s selfish fear that Allura had come to reciprocate Lance’s feelings for her. Even now Lance could be laying Allura down in a field of flowers while he murmured ecstatic endearments into her hair, along her throat, against her lips.

The image burned him, leaving a taste like blackened cinders in his mouth. But he had always known, hadn’t he? It was why one of his first acts upon returning to the team was to push Lance far away. It was Keith. It’d been him all along. Keith had torn this rift between them and then been stupidly surprised to see it was there. It was his fault their relationship was a monumental mess.

But Keith hadn’t expected his feelings to come crashing back the instant he saw him again. He hadn’t expected that seeing Lance and Allura so close would scald him like boiling water. He hadn’t expected to see them hugging, bodies pressed close in the dim light of the castle bridge. He hadn’t, but he should have because he’d suspected it would happen from the start—even thought he’d accepted it when he made the decision to join the Blade of Marmora.

If he had fully accepted it; if he hadn’t been stupid enough to hope; if he hadn’t let himself be drawn in all over again by that sweet smile, those ocean blues, that contagious laugh. If Lance didn’t make him feel so goddamn happy; didn’t make him feel so stable and supported...but he did. Lance did. And Keith was weak. So, now he hurt, for no reason other than himself.

He shouldn’t have hoped. Hope was the glowing light of an angler fish—the last sight you saw before it swallowed you whole.

“Keith!”

The Black Paladin jumped, blood rushing through his body and a gasp forcing air into lungs that hadn’t properly filled since they’d set off. His head spun. Keith stopped, closing his eyes to regain his bearings. His muscles were rigid, fingers numbed by the overtight grip he had on his bayard. “What?” he growled.

Pidge’s brows raised, honey eyes wide. “Have you heard anything I’ve said?” she asked incredulously. Keith peeked at her sideways. She was standing on his left, looking torn between annoyance and concern.

“I.... No,” Keith admitted in a mumble. He unclenched his hands, wincing as his fingers began to prickle. His breaths were still too shallow. Keith wished he hadn’t left Kosmo with Coran and Romelle, but more so he wished he didn’t need the cosmic wolf’s support. He used to be able to manage this. It was getting so much worse.

As if reading his mind, the Green Paladin’s expression settled on concern, her brows lowering and a frown tugging at the corners of her lips. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he answered shortly. “What were you saying?”

Pidge leveled him with a suspicious glare, but then sighed, relenting. “I was saying that the whole planet seems to be in constant communication.” She lifted her arm, attention inexorably pulled by the holographic display projected by her gauntlet. She scrolled through the page, as if its contents would mean something to Keith’s untrained eye. “It reminds me of the communication system used by ants. You know, releasing chemically specific pheromones to convey different messages. It’s invisible to our senses, but according to these scans everything here is perfectly attuned to it.”

She angled her head to squint up at him. “It’s weird because you’d think distinct species wouldn’t have much cause to communicate. It makes sense when an ant tells another ant, ‘Hey, danger ahead,’ but it doesn’t make sense for an ant to tell a squirrel that, and even less sense to tell something it might consider a food source. It makes me think the life here uses it as some sort of planet-wide warning system. So, I was wondering your take: What do you think happens if it gets triggered?”

Keith blinked, not even certain he was fully comprehending Pidge’s words. “I don’t know?” he answered. “Don’t really want to find out either.”

Pidge nodded as if he’d made an astute observation, though it was clear that she’d become lost in thought as she suddenly resumed their trek through the dense underbrush. “You know, Romelle mentioned right before we left that Lance thought the planet was like a giant Venus flytrap, which I thought was kind of ridiculous, but looking at these scans, he might actually be right.”

Keith’s heart gave a funny leap. “Lance usually has good insights,” he said, trailing behind her.

“It could be something less sinister though,” Pidge argued as she maneuvered down a steep slope. She held her arms out to either side like a tightrope walker, feet sliding an extra inch with every step that she took. “Maybe it’s an indicator to escape—a means of preserving life.”

Keith followed her down the hill, briefly glancing up at the lower-lying lands ahead and then back down to avoid tripping on the uneven surface. “Eliminating threats would also be a means of preserving life.”

“Huh, good point,” she said with another nod. The earth dropped off. Pidge jumped, landing a few feet below in thick, waist-high grass. “At any rate, we should be safe unless we start attacking the planet with our Lions or something. Still, it makes you wonder what would happen if the Galra tried to exploit this planet like they did with the Balmera. The Balmera couldn’t fight back.”

“Vrepit sa,” Keith said dryly, and then hopped too, landing beside Pidge with a muted rustle. He narrowed his eyes at the tall sea of grass before them. Anything lurking within would be concealed by its depths. He realized the same could be argued for the overgrown forest, but he remained vigilant as they wound through the valley, leaving behind a snaking trail of snapped stalks.

It was a casual assignment, Keith and Pidge’s, requiring only that they scan the local flora to see if any of the plants’ chemical compositions were conducive to creating medicines or other helpful supplies. It was the perfect assignment to hold a long conversation, which was precisely why Keith had initially planned for Lance to accompany him, not Pidge. He should have known it wouldn’t work out that way.

Keith supposed he might have refused Allura’s request, but for what reason? There was nothing he could have said that would’ve made sense. Even if he’d been truthful and said he needed to talk to Lance, it was obvious that Allura had something to talk to him about too. Something Keith desperately hoped was not a love confession. Which...was an awful hope to have, wasn’t it? Because if Lance was in love with her and learned she felt the same, he’d be happy, wouldn’t he? They’d both be happy, and shouldn’t Keith want to see that? Shouldn’t he feel happy for them? He should have, but he didn’t. Because he was selfish. Because he truly was a shit friend.

“Keith!”

He looked up, and then groaned as he realized Pidge had wandered several yards ahead without him noticing. Shiro’s words from long ago seared through his thoughts: _You’ll have to control your emotions if you’re going to lead this group someday_. Well, he was leading the group now, had been for some time, and he was doing a shit job at the whole ‘controlling your emotions’ thing. He needed to do better. He needed to keep them in check. Keith tried to swallow them. They slid like molten embers down his throat.

“What is it?” he asked as soon as he’d caught up.

Pidge looked down, gesturing at her feet. “According to my latest scan, these plants contain an anti-inflammatory agent, which could be useful in synthesizing remedies for symptoms such as headaches and muscle pain. Coran will likely know more.”

“Okay,” he said. The two knelt in the grass, having to bend the verdant stalks beneath their legs to keep it from their faces. Keith reached for his blade and experienced a moment of disorientation as he remembered he no longer had it—he’d given it to his mom to return to him when she came back.

Something like melancholy swept over him. He missed her. He missed her encouragement, her warmth, her composure. He missed that he rarely felt alone when she was near. Without her, he felt disconnected—floundering in the deep end and reaching for a pool ladder that was no longer there. Keith swallowed these feelings too. They would see each other again. She would come back. This time wasn’t a goodbye.

A touch of sympathy crossed Pidge’s face. “I’ve got it,” she murmured. Pidge summoned her bayard in a flash of green light, using the triangular knife head as an imperfect pruning shear. Keith took out one of their pop-open bags, giving it a swift shake to inflate it and then holding it out for her.

The plants were stocky, lush with serrated, velvety leaves and four-petaled yellow flowers that looked sleek to the touch. Pidge cut through the stems of several in quick succession. She deposited them in the bag and then hesitated, nose scrunched up and her lips pursued. Finally, she seemed to make up her mind as she sighed, dropping her hands into her lap and peering up at him.

“Look, are you okay?” she asked. “Because you seem really...on edge lately. And distracted.”

“Just tired,” Keith answered, lowering his eyes.

“Tired,” Pidge echoed, as though it were a foreign word. “Is that also why you’ve been giving Lance the cold shoulder?”

Keith stilled, and then frowned. “I’m not giving Lance the cold shoulder.”

“I mean, yeah I guess you were talking to him this morning, but other than that you kind of have. Kind of been a dick to him too, if I’m being honest.”

Keith sighed heavily. He was so tired of this. “If you’re planning a lecture, Shiro already beat you to it,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Pidge tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Shiro already called me out on this and I already agreed to be nicer. The end,” Keith bit out.

“Okay....” Pidge said, drawing out each vowel, “but why were you ignoring him in the first place?”

“Does it matter?” Keith asked with a pointed arch of his brow.

“Uh, it does if it’s not resolved. Because if it’s not, no amount of ‘promising to be nicer’ is gonna cut it. You’ll just keep snapping at him for no reason other than the one locked in your head.” Pidge reached up and knocked on his helmet with a single knuckle for emphasis. “That’s kind of what happens. If you bottle something up, it comes out in other ways. Or, you simply explode. Sometimes both. Either way, no one’s happy.”

Keith snorted, leaning away from her. “This coming from the one who hid her true identity from us.”

Pidge narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, and that negatively impacted our ability to bond and form Voltron, so maybe consider I know what I’m talking about.” She glowered at him for a moment more and then gave a tiny shake of her head, leaning forward to collect more plants. “Whatever,” she grumbled. “I’m not trying to start a fight with you. I’m pointing it out because I’m concerned, but if your talk with Shiro was that revolutionary and you’ve got it all figured out now, then great. I mean, I highly doubt it, considering you’ve been wound up tighter than a spring all day, but you know, great.”

“Do people really open up to you when you’re that snarky?” Keith asked.

Pidge didn’t look at him, her attention directed toward harvesting plants, but he thought he could see a frown cross her lips at these words. “I’m no Shiro, that’s true. Or Lance. Or Hunk. Or even Allura. But they’re not here right now. You’ve got me. And I want to help.”

“This isn’t something you can help me with,” Keith retorted, his grip on the bag tightening. “It isn’t something anyone can help me with.”

“Okay, it might not be something I can _solve_ ,” Pidge specified, snipping another plant, “but talking about it could at least be beneficial.”

Keith’s mood soured further. He ground his teeth, knitting his brows and glaring at the plants as if they’d done him a great personal disservice. “It’s stupid,” he stated shortly.

Pidge dropped the plants she’d collected into the bag and then freed it from Keith’s death grip. “It’s not stupid if it’s hurting you,” she said seriously. “And it’s definitely not stupid if it means something to you.”

Keith floundered, thoughts struggling to gain purchase. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then scowled, rising to his feet and ignoring Pidge’s raised brows. He knew she meant well, but he’d already talked about this and he was already trying. He’d even arranged to talk to Lance today! It wasn’t his damn fault that Allura—

He glared down at Pidge, folding his arms across his chest. “Do you think Allura likes Lance?” he asked roughly. “Do you think that’s why she wanted to pair up with him today?”

Pidge gaped at him, looking thoroughly nonplussed. “I don’t think so?” she answered slowly. “She’s probably still getting over Lotor and she doesn’t strike me as the type who’d use a guy for a rebound. Especially not Lance. She respects him too much for that.”

“Right,” Keith muttered. That made sense. How the hell Allura ever fell for someone like Lotor he’d never understand, but it made sense that she might not want to rush into another relationship after that. “But...she could, right? She could like him back?”

“Anything’s possible I guess, but she hasn’t mentioned anything.” Pidge rose to her feet too, briefly leaning down to grab her bayard with one hand and the bag with the other. Keith reached out to take it, avoiding her inquisitive gaze. “Is that what this is all about? Not implying that it’s stupid because it’s not since it’s clearly stressing you out, but I feel like I’m missing something here,” she said as she handed him the bag.

“It’s nothing,” he grumbled, grabbing it. “We should see if we can find anything else.”

“If you say so,” Pidge sang, her expression filled with doubt. She waited then, presumably seeing if he’d reconsider and say more, but Keith was done with this conversation, so he set off. He could hear Pidge pushing through the grass in his wake—thought he could even hear her trying to puzzle out the so-called missing piece too. Honestly, he was sort of surprised she hadn’t figured it out, but he supposed between his departure and the way he’d been treating Lance, the answer was perhaps not as obvious as he’d believed.

Of course it wasn’t. Pidge thought Keith was being a dick to Lance, so why would she guess that he liked him more than he knew how to deal with? Normal people probably didn’t try to bite their crush’s head off whenever they tried to talk to them. It reminded him forcibly of Pidge’s words: _You’ll just keep snapping at him for no reason other than the one locked in your head._

It wasn’t exactly locked—Shiro knew, after all, but he had been snapping at Lance a lot, hadn’t he? Even before the evening at Acxa’s base when he’d decided to push him away again he’d snapped. Keith had snapped that he didn’t have time for Lance when he first returned. He’d also been the reason why Lance had nearly plummeted to his death in that ravine, his frustration at Keith’s unnecessarily sharp words driving him to storm away. Keith had snapped at him when Lance thanked him for saving his life, and again when he showed concern about Keith separating from the team to save Acxa. He’d even snapped at Lance for showing concern for him—not once, but twice. Again, and again, and again. Keith’s stomach rolled with guilt, his palms growing clammy in his gloves. _Maybe I do deserve to lose him_.

Shiro had been adamant this wasn’t true, but Keith wasn’t so sure now. At this point, he wouldn’t have been surprised if Lance never wanted to speak to him again. Only, he had. Lance had talked to him—smiled and laughed with him this morning despite everything. Keith’s heart squeezed. The truth was that Keith didn’t deserve him, but he was there anyway. Every fucking time. Keith wasn’t sure if this made him feel better, or worse, but he did know these racing thoughts would eat him alive.

They found and knelt before another patch of the yellow-flowered plants, Keith holding their collection bag open while Pidge harvested them with her bayard. His mouth felt dry, words continuously floating to the surface of his tongue before he’d falter and feel his heart sink a little lower. He could talk to her. He should talk to her.

Pidge crawled forward, and then gasped as her hands suddenly sunk into the earth up to her elbows. Keith froze, feeling the dirt shift beneath them. They exchanged wide-eyed looks and then they were screaming as the land gave way, sending them falling into a darkened shaft.

Keith attempted to activate his jetpack, but as soon as he tried the two landed with a squelch in what felt like a lukewarm vat of slime. His jetpack let out a feeble splutter, its parts clogged by the gooey substance.

“What the hell is this stuff?” he cried out, struggling to extricate even one hand from its sticky depths.

“I t-t-think it’s m-mucus,” Pidge stammered, pale-faced and pointing above them with a trembling hand. Keith craned his neck and then shouted as he caught sight of a towering, wormlike creature sliding down to them with a wet, gurgling noise. It was pale and eyeless, with a gaping maw of a mouth that was lined with dozens of needle-sharp teeth.

“FUCK!” Keith wriggled, straining to free his bayard as Pidge desperately attempted the same beside him.

“WATCH OUT!” she shouted, and then shrieked as the worm lunged for them. Her bayard suddenly flashed into her free hand. Pidge’s eyes briefly widened in surprise and then she rammed it into the worm’s head, delivering a high-voltage shock that had the creature emitting a terrible screech. It swayed ominously. The Green and Black Paladins yelled, Pidge shielding her head with her one free arm and Keith flinching, shoulders hunched, and his eyes shut tight as it collapsed.

“KEITH!” Pidge screamed from beneath the enormous worm’s body.

His eyes flew open. “Hold on! I’ve got this!” Keith freed his left hand with a massive effort, his bayard sword materializing and becoming a blur as he brought it down in a sweeping arc to hack off a third of the worm. Pidge shouted again, frantically shoving off the severed worm part twitching on her head.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she panted. “Holy shit! What even was that? It didn’t appear on my scanners at all! I suppose it had the unique ability to cloak thermal energy emissions? Or perhaps—”

“Pidge, your brain is amazing, but let’s put it to use getting out of here first.”

“Right, priorities,” she said with a nod, eyes searching.

Keith looked around too, but there was nothing around them that would be of any use. “We’ll have to climb out,” he said. “Can you reach the wall?”

Pidge stretched out as far as possible. “Barely!” she exclaimed.

“Hold on, hold on. I’m just going to—” Keith leaned forward and pushed his hand into her back. At first, it looked like she wasn’t going to budge, but as he put his full strength behind the push she began to slide nearer. Pidge continued to reach and then let out a whoop as her fingers sunk into dirt.

“Okay,” he said. “Now try to climb. I’ll give you as much of a boost as I can. Then, when you’re up there, you can use your grappling hook to pull me out.”

“Got it!”

The task was infinitely easier said than done, the two fighting against the viscous mucus for what had to be a good fifteen doboshes before Pidge’s boots finally popped out of the substance. She dug her toes into the dirt for purchase, carefully scaling the earthen wall. At times some of the compacted soil fell away, causing her hand or foot to slip, but enough stayed intact to support her weight.

“You’ve got this,” Keith encouraged. “You’re nearly there!”

“And to think, if I fall we’ll only have to start over!” Pidge exclaimed. Keith laughed, and the Green Paladin finally reached the top, using her arms to lift her body and scrambling out of the hole. He heard her take a moment to catch her breath, and then her face appeared over the edge, peering down at him.

“Catch!” She tossed the end of her grappling hook to him. Keith grabbed on, and there was another miserable struggle as the two worked to free him from the sucking slime. By the time Keith emerged, they were out of breath, sweating, and absolutely slathered in the clear substance. Keith groaned, firmly deciding that he hated this planet.

“Hey, look,” Pidge said, pointing behind him. “You saved the plants!”

Keith turned his head, and then narrowed his eyes as he noticed the bag had caught on a rock and was dangling barely half a foot into the hole. “Seriously?”

Pidge let out a quick laugh, still somewhat winded. She pulled a map up on her gauntlet, tapping the red and green dots on the display and watching as the map zoomed in. “There’s a river a bit further south, so we should be able to get the slime off there. In the meantime, don’t eat it—initial scans suggest its toxic.”

“Ah, thanks for the heads up,” Keith deadpanned. “Was definitely considering just sticking a whole wad of it directly into my mouth.”

The corners of Pidge’s lips twitched. “Oh, shut up,” she grumbled without heat. “Let’s go, weirdo.”

Keith smirked, and the two gathered their belongings before heading for the river, the Black Paladin in better spirits than he would have expected given he was steeped in mucus and had nearly been devoured by an oversized worm. He supposed it was a bad sign that his mind was such a dreaded place to be that even the distraction of a near-death experience felt better than another tick alone with his thoughts. Even now they began to tangle like brambles, thorns pricking him as he fought to keep them at bay.

He used the cool water to ground himself, directing his full attention to the task of ridding his armor of worm slime. Pidge was delighted to discover that the substance was water-soluble, so it was easy to rinse off, but was also quick to inform him that the water wasn’t safe for human consumption either. This didn’t surprise him in the slightest.

The two sprawled on the grassy bank afterward to dry, limbs stretched out like starfish as they gazed at the hunter green sky above. They kept their helmets next to them, close enough that they could still hear if anyone spoke over the comms. Save for the babble of the river at their feet, the planet was as hushed as ever—watching and waiting.

“Pidge?”

“Yeah?”

Keith furrowed his brows and then gave a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry I was rude to you earlier. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, I kind of did,” Pidge said with a shrug. “I mean, I was being snarky. I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time, so I’m actually kind of glad you called me out on it.”

“Still, I could have said it better.”

“Me too.”

The air was cool, striated clouds fanning across the sky as far as the eye could see. Keith folded his hands on his stomach, pulse kicking up and fingers tightly intertwined. “Pidge?” he called again.

“Still here, Keith.”

“I like him.”

Pidge turned her head to the side. He could feel her gaze on his face. “Huh?”

Keith licked his lips. “Lance,” he clarified, heart stuttering and tongue suddenly too loose. “You felt like you were missing something earlier because you were and that’s it. I like Lance. I like him so much that when he smiles at me I can’t think. I like him so much that when he laughs it’s like the entire world stops and there’s only him and how happy he makes me feel. I like him so much that I don’t know what to do.” Keith squeezed his eyes shut, reaching up to grip his hair and tugging hard. “I like him,” he whispered miserably. “And it scares the hell out of me.”

The Green Paladin was silent for so long that even Keith, who enjoyed the quiet, began to fidget. He loosened his hold on his hair, looking over at her anxiously. Pidge’s lips were pursed, brows low and her forehead creased. Occasionally a frown would tug at her mouth, but then it would soften, and she’d wrinkle her nose instead, deep in thought. It made Keith feel like screaming.

“Wow,” she finally said, eyes wide. “That—wow—was _not_ what I was expecting. But, the more I think about it, the more I wonder why I didn’t? That...actually makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of things make sense.”

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“No! It really does. Just... _wow_ ,” Pidge repeated. She ran a hand through her fluffy hair and then peered at him again. “How long have you felt like this?”

Keith shifted uncomfortably, bending one leg. “It’s uh...complicated? Because I spent most of the time trying _not_ to like him.” He frowned, considering. “I guess I first felt that way though...back on Arus? When Lance got injured in that explosion protecting Coran. Seeing him like that....” Keith trailed off, blood chilling at the memory.

“Then, on and off since, I guess. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had, especially because he kind of hated me for a while there. Plus, I mean, there’d been a moment when I thought...after that explosion...but he forgot! He fucking forgot and denied it ever happened, so clearly—” He stopped again, grimacing. “I don’t know. I eventually left, right? And I thought I’d gotten over him, but apparently not. Apparently, it’s worse than ever because I can’t shut it down anymore. I can’t, and now just as I fucking suspected, it’s ruining our friendship.”

“Wow....”

He groaned, clapping a hand over his face. “I swear, Pidge, if you say that one more time....”

“Are you gonna tell him?”

Keith sat upright, shooting Pidge an incredulous look. “Are you joking?” he spluttered. “I can’t tell him! Not now anyway.”

Pidge sat up too, hugging her knees to her chest and then resting her chin upon them as she calmly observed him. “Why not?”

“He’s in love with Allura?”

“Is he though?”

Keith gawked at her. He felt like he was having an out of body experience, watching the scene unfold from above. “Yes?” he answered, confused. “Everyone knows that. I think Allura even knows that.”

Pidge shrugged. “Well, yeah, but...I don’t know. He doesn’t talk about her that much anymore? He used to babble on about her all the time. Well, first it was babbling, then it was brooding when she started showing interest in Lotor, but either way, super fixated on her. And now if he mentions her at all it’s only in passing.” She paused, and then arched a pointed brow. “He _does_ talk about you a lot though.”

Keith winced, looking away. “Don’t do that. He’s most likely straight anyway.”

“Yeah, I thought of that too,” Pidge admitted, absently tapping her foot. “But...maybe he’s not. Hunk always uses gender neutral pronouns when he’s trying to cheer Lance up about his love life—you know, things like, ‘I’m sure they’re out there somewhere, buddy,’ and Lance never corrects him? Like why wouldn’t Hunk just say ‘she’? And yeah, I never questioned it myself before, but now? Maybe he knows something we don’t.”

Pidge’s eyes flicked back to his. “Couldn’t you ask him?”

Keith startled, horrified at even the thought. “No, Pidge! I couldn’t do that. Do you know how obvious that would be? ‘Hey, yeah, just fucking curious, but are you into guys like, at all? _Asking for a friend_.’”

“I mean, if you said it like that, you know, like a complete moron, then yeah, it’d be obvious.”

“It’s obvious anyway!” Keith shouted, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll ask him.”

“What? No! You can’t! He’ll wonder why you asked and just—” Keith groaned, pulling his legs into a cross-legged position and dropping his head into his hands. He had a vague hope another massive worm would appear and kill him. “Please, don’t.”

“Why?” she asked, sounding genuinely confused. “He could say he’s not interested, yeah, and that would majorly suck, but at least you’d know and could like, move on or whatever. What are you so afraid of?”

Keith felt like the world was spinning away from him, leaving him in a sort of transitory non-existence. His heart was working too hard. “I could lose him,” he mumbled. “And I can’t! Not...not him too.”

He didn’t hear Pidge crawl over to him, but the next Keith knew she was kneeling in front of him and firmly pulling his hands away from his face. Keith regarded her warily through his bangs. She wound her fingers through his, amber eyes serious.

“Keith,” she stated patiently, “do you think Lance is cruel?”

“What? No, not at all. He’s—”

“Keith,” she began again, talking over him, “do you think Lance is the type of person to abandon someone?”

“No! He’s—”

“Then _why_ ,” Pidge cut in before her expression abruptly softened, “do you think he’d be cruel and abandon you?”

“I....” Keith faltered, a lump rising in his throat. He didn’t know. Maybe it was easier to imagine the worst, so if the worst was what came, he wouldn’t be caught unprepared. Maybe it was because he felt like it’d happened before, even though he understood now that no one who’d left him ever did it out of malice. Maybe it was because he was broken and couldn’t believe that anything would ever go his way.

Pidge gave his hands a comforting squeeze. “Lance loves you, Keith. And yeah, I don’t know the exact parameters of that love, but I do know he loves you—we all do, and that won’t ever change.”

Keith dropped his gaze. He sincerely doubted that. The team respected him, maybe, because he was their leader even though he hadn’t wanted to be, but loved him? That he wasn’t sure of, but he also wasn’t about to argue and risk invoking Pidge’s ire.

“Look,” Pidge attempted again, “if he doesn’t return your feelings, then yeah, it’d probably be awkward, but don’t think that you’d lose him because that’s just not true. He really cares about you, Keith. He’d understand. Talk to him.”

Keith pulled his hands away, shaking his head. “Now’s not even the time for that,” he argued. “The Galra Empire is still a threat, we don’t have a castle anymore, the Lions barely have enough energy to get to Earth so we can get the blueprints to make another, and we don’t know what we’ll find when we get there. It’s the worst possible time.”

“Yeah, but...it might be the only time we have,” she said quietly.

“What?”

Pidge looked down, shrugging slightly. “We could die out here, Keith. You know that. We all know that. So, you have to think—if something happened to you, or something happened to him, would you be okay with the fact that he never got to know? I mean, hell, if it weren’t for Allura, Lance _would_ have died not knowing.”

Keith’s blood turned to ice, his heart squeezing in his chest. “Wait, what? What are you talking about?”

“You don’t know?” she said, her eyes growing round.

“Know about what? What the fuck, Pidge? When did this—” Keith caught his rising temper, tried to soothe it with a practiced breath. “Sorry. Just... _what_?” he asked desperately.

Pidge considered him for a long moment, and then let out a reluctant sigh. “It was when you were gone, obviously. We were working together to repair a shield station when Shiro— _Kuron_ had some sort of attack while we were trying to activate it using his Galra prosthetic. The power failed and there was a massive energy discharge that headed straight for Allura, but Lance rammed his Lion into hers, knocking her out of the way and getting hit instead. He wasn’t responding, so Allura jumped out of her Lion to help him.”

She hesitated, chewing her lip. “As far as I know, Allura brought him back from the brink of death, like she did with the Balmera, but he seemed none the worse for wear. I mean, it was terrifying, but after Allura healed him he was right back to being, well, Lance. And by that, I mean goofily fawning over the fact that Allura saved him. And then moping because Allura was spending all her time with Lotor. He seemed fine.”

Keith was at a loss for words. He stared at a small bug attempting to make its way up a blade of grass. His heart seemed to be beating in slow motion, one heavy thump, followed by another, delayed. He’d nearly lost Lance and he hadn’t even known. He’d nearly lost Lance and he hadn’t been there. Allura had though. Allura had saved him. Allura, who Pidge didn’t think returned Lance’s feelings, but had requested to be with him today. Allura, who Lance had fawned over, hurt over, maybe even loved. The bug fell, lost in the loamy soil. Keith’s heart thudded again.

Pidge took a tentative peek at him. “Look, it just...puts things into perspective, you know? It’s a reminder that we might not make it through this. That next time we might not be fine. So, it’s something to take into consideration, I guess. Would it matter to you if he never got to know how you feel?”

“I don’t know,” Keith said truthfully.

“Well, it’s your decision, of course. But...if you choose not to tell him, he should probably at least be told how much he means to you. I think....” Pidge hesitated, and Keith got the sudden feeling she was recalling a conversation she’d once had with him. “I think he’d like to hear that,” she finished quickly.

Keith felt his heart sink. Though he wasn’t sure what Pidge had heard, the implication was clear. Lance didn’t know he mattered to Keith. He recalled Lance’s surprise that Keith had cried when he thought he’d fallen to his death. _You do care_ , he’d said. Lance didn’t know. He’d fucked up so badly that Lance didn’t _know_. And that—that mattered. He should at least fucking know that.

Pidge opened her mouth to say something else but jumped instead when muffled shouting began to sound from their helmets. Keith grabbed for his, jamming it onto his head as Pidge scrambled to put hers on too. Screeching static filled his ears, occasionally punctuated by Hunk’s panicked voice.

“—ONE OUT THERE? WE NEED BA—.... SHIRO, WATCH OUT!”

Keith blanched, his heart hammering against his ribs. “What happened to Shiro?” he shouted over the comms. “Hunk? Are you there? What’s going on?” More static pierced his skull, causing Keith to grimace. He pulled up his map on his armor gauntlet, but Pidge was already ahead of him, fingers flying over the three-dimensional display. Two dots pulsated on the screen, purple and yellow. It indicated their location, and that they were still alive.

“They’re not far!” Pidge said, getting to her feet and clipping the bag of medicinal plants to her waist. “Quarter of a mile north.”

“Let’s go.”

The two hurried up the bank, crashing through the overgrown grass while static continued to buzz in their ears. Keith put on an extra burst of speed as he ran, Pidge breathing hard on his heels. A low growl rumbled from ahead and Keith gasped as an immense creature came into view. It looked like some sort of grotesque hybrid—a botched attempt to cross a Komodo dragon with a black panther, only ten times as large.

Hunk stood at the edge of the clearing in a protective stance, his jaw taut and his cannon blaster aimed at the creature’s snarling head. Shiro sat on the ground behind him, his back against a tree as he dazedly tried to lift his gun. A wound on his head was bleeding steadily.

Keith let out a furious yell, his bayard sword flashing into his hand as he charged straight for the beast’s soft underbelly. Hunk’s eyes shot to his, his normally rich brown face turning ashen.

“KEITH! DON’T!” he warned. “ITS TAIL!”

The Black Paladin looked up and then shouted as a wire-like tail swished through the air, crimson barbs the size of scimitars heading straight for his head. He rolled, the beast stabbing the earth instead and emitting an ear-splitting roar of frustration.

“RUN!” Hunk bellowed. Keith did, jumping to his feet and giving the creature some distance as Pidge mirrored him on his left. Eyes like polished bloodstone flicked over each of them in turn, the creature’s thin lips lifting in a growl as it considered its next target. Keith and Pidge backed up in tandem, fingers clenching on their bayards. They exchanged glances and then Pidge lashed out with her grappling hook, the green vine of energy wrapping around its hind legs. She yanked hard and the beast roared as it crashed to the ground. It fought against its constraints, clumsily righting itself and then lunging.

The momentum knocked Pidge onto her stomach, a scream leaving her as the creature dragged her through prickly weeds. A pale aqua whip suddenly flew forward, winding around Pidge’s waist and lifting her to her feet. Keith turned, eyes widening as he caught sight of Allura. Her teeth were gritted, silver brows pinched as she yelled and pulled Pidge back from an attempt by the beast to snap her up its jaws. Hunk shouted, shooting at it with his cannon blaster. The creature’s barbs shuddered and flared over its body like a shield, lasers ricocheting off them and flying helter-skelter in the clearing. Keith looked at Allura again. _Lance_. Lance would be nearby, but where...? The ridge!

Keith jogged backward, yelling and waving as he tried to attract the attention of the beast. It took the bait faster than anticipated, whirling around and snarling as it charged straight for him. Keith paled, and then shouted as his heel smacked into something hard, sending him crashing to the ground. Pain flared through his body, his bayard sword knocked out of his grasp. Keith gasped, scrambling backward as the beast growled, saliva dripping from its teeth.

Then it twitched, the creature staggering on its feet before it collapsed with enough force to make the earth tremble. A burning hole hissed between its eyes, the smell of charred flesh reaching Keith’s nose. He looked over his shoulder, heart leaping into his throat as he caught sight of Lance up on the hill. He was in a half-kneeling position, bayard sniper rifle leveled directly at the felled beast.

“You okay there, Samurai?” Lance’s voice sounded over the comms.

Keith’s stomach fluttered. “Yeah,” he panted. “Thanks to you, Sharpshooter.”

He turned away, eyes falling shut. Lance was always there for him. Even when Keith felt he shouldn’t be. Because in this, he realized, it didn’t matter what Keith felt. It didn’t matter that Keith felt undeserving of him because Lance clearly felt that he was.

Shiro was right. He should believe Lance. Pidge was right. He wouldn’t lose him.

Hope was the glowing light of an angler fish—a means of sustaining oneself even in the dark.

*

The sun sat low on the horizon, the final vestiges of light keeping the gloom at bay. Keith glanced at the woven canopy of leaves and then turned his head to sneeze for what had to be the third time since returning to their meet-up location. A sickly-sweet perfume had begun emanating from the moss. Keith despised it, but insects seemed attracted to it in droves. Like moths incinerated by the flame, they were swiftly consumed by the unlikely predator.

Keith directed his attention back to Shiro, who offered him an amused, “Gesundheit.” He rolled his eyes, continuing to dab at the wound on Shiro’s head with a gauze pad soaked in clean water. Shiro flinched, and Keith clucked his tongue in disapproval.

“Baby,” he chided without heat.

“It stings!” Shiro stated indignantly, gray eyes flashing up to meet his. Keith’s lips twitched. He gingerly wiped at a spot of dried blood. The wound had at least ceased to bleed—not even deep enough to require stitches. Still, the sight had chilled him, reawakening fears that Keith would lose him again. _Only a scratch_ , he reminded himself.

“That should be sufficient,” Coran said with an approving nod. He handed Keith a sterile, adhesive bandage and what looked to be a cotton swab with some sort of ointment on it. Keith disposed of the gauze and ran the swab along the cut, suppressing another smile when Shiro grimaced. He was pretty sure at this point that Shiro was playing it up to amuse him. Keith didn’t call him out on it. It was working, after all.

“Hey,” Shiro said as Keith smoothed the bandage. “You should go talk to him.” Keith frowned, initially confused by Shiro’s words, but then flushed when Shiro lifted his chin in the direction he knew Lance to be. He hesitated, unable to find a reason not to, but also feeling unreasonably nervous to do so.

Coran bobbed his head in agreement. “I second that sentiment!” he said with his characteristic lilt. “You two are better together than apart.”

Keith angled his head to look at him, lips parted in surprise. He didn’t _know_...did he? Coran smiled, his kind face betraying nothing. Keith worried his lip, looking back at Shiro. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted in a small voice.

“What were you planning on saying to him?” Shiro knowingly asked.

Keith’s face warmed a little more. “I...was going to apologize, I guess.”

“A good choice,” Coran said, latching the first aid kit in his hands. “An apology is a wonderful way to show someone you care about your relationship with them.”

Shiro nodded sagely. “He’s right, you know.”

“I know he’s right,” Keith scowled, and then glanced back at Coran. “Thanks. I...I think I’ll try.”

Shiro and Coran collected the excess materials and trash while Keith slowly made his way over to Lance. He passed by Romelle and Allura, who were holding pink crystals up to the ebbing light, and then Hunk and Pidge, who were bent over the Yellow Paladin’s helmet as they worked to repair its communications system. Pidge lifted her head when she heard him, one eyebrow raised in question. Keith glanced at Lance and then looked back at her. She grinned, giving him an encouraging thumbs-up. Keith’s stomach gave a nervous flop. Every cell of his being was screaming at him to flee.

He fought the urge, stopping only when he was standing at the Red Paladin’s side. Lance’s brows were furrowed, his hands clasped behind his back as he leaned forward to study an insect scuttling up the tree in front of them. Keith had no idea he was so interested in ecology.

“Hey,” he said, heart beating in double time.

“Hey.” Lance straightened, but kept his eyes focused on the roaming insect. It was a bright orange color, with tiny pincers and six hairy legs. Keith thought it was fairly horrifying. He half expected it to latch onto his face.

“Some creepy planet,” he inanely commented.

“Yeah,” Lance agreed, and then licked his lips, a hesitant motion that left them slightly parted and glistening. Keith felt heat pool into his stomach, and then blushed even worse when Lance turned his head to look at him. Even in the twilit evening his eyes shimmered a luminous blue. Keith felt this was fitting, for Lance seemed able to create his own light.

“So,” Lance added uncertainly, “are we officially talking again?”

Keith’s mouth opened in surprise, his brows lowering. He hadn’t expected Lance to say that, especially without hearing an apology first. He also hadn’t expected to see the sudden hopeful spark that ignited within Lance’s eyes, but that was there too. Despite all the evidence he was beginning to see, it was still difficult to believe that Lance was so willing to talk to him again. Keith shifted his gaze, looking back at the tree. The orange insect was inching far too close to the predacious moss. Sweat beaded on Keith’s skin.

“If you’ll let me,” he mumbled. Lance inhaled sharply, a sound that had Keith’s eyes flicking back to his. He was practically glowing, an observation that set a glow alight in Keith’s chest too, a tentative smile forming on his lips.

“Of course I’ll let you!” Lance exclaimed, sounding relieved. “Why wouldn’t I let you? I never wanted to stop talking in the first place! I—” He trailed off, and the light within Keith faltered as he realized Lance’s eyes had slid to a point over his shoulder. A reddish hue spread across Lance’s cheeks and nose. Keith didn’t have to turn around to know who he was looking at. He didn’t have to, but he did.

Allura was staring at Lance avidly, her mouth agape and her shining eyes round. She made a noise like a trodden upon mouse when she noticed Lance looking right back at her. If Keith wasn’t mistaken, she was blushing too, her cheeks darkening as she lifted her shoulders to her ears and turned away.

Keith’s heart crumbled like the charred remains of kindling for a fire. What would have them blushing and acting so shy? Had something happened between them? Were they a couple now? The image of Lance laying Allura down in a field of flowers returned in full force; Lance’s lips against her throat, her thighs around his hips. Keith flinched, the taste of ashes hot on his tongue.

“Oh,” he whispered. Lance’s eyes flicked back to his face. Keith couldn’t look at him—could look anywhere but at him. “Okay,” he continued, voice indistinct from the chaos in his mind. “I’m going to go gather everyone now. We need to head out.”

“Okay....” Lance said slowly, sounding confused.

“Don’t fall behind again.” Keith gave him the briefest of smiles and then set off, half expecting to leave a blazing trail behind him. Everything burned. Everything hurt. It shouldn’t have hurt. He’d already known. He should be happy for them. If he weren’t so stupid, so selfish, he would be.

“We’re heading out,” Keith announced to the group at large. Murmured understandings and some questioning gazes followed his words, the sound of crunching underbrush renting the air as they moved, but Keith was already gone.

Shiro caught up to him, falling into a jog beside him. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, voice laced with concern.

“I’m fine,” he said. His voice sounded strange. “Stick with Pidge in Green, okay?”

“Keith...?”

“Please.” He gritted his teeth, head bowed, and eyes lowered as he felt a searching gaze upon the side of his face.

Shiro sighed. “Alright,” he murmured reluctantly.

Keith sped ahead again, past twisting trees and sap bleeding from gashes in the bark, past malodorous moss and the whispering brush. He’d already known this was likely, so why did it hurt so much? Because...because he’d thought, maybe. Hot tears stung his eyes. He’d hoped. That was the problem! He shouldn’t have hoped. That’s why it hurt.

The Black Lion greeted him with a curious purr, bending her great head and opening her jaws. Keith stepped onto the ramp, hurriedly making his way up. Her mouth closed just as a broken sob tore from his throat.

He should never have hoped.

*

Silence, generally so soothing, attempted to suffocate Keith in its heavy embrace. The Black Paladin sat low in his seat, staring blankly ahead and finding a strange poetry in the fact that they were soaring through the darkest stretches of space they’d encountered yet. Kosmo laid his head in his lap, sending waves of questioning concern that Keith ignored. He’d been reduced to a numb acceptance that left him feeling cold and sluggish.

It was fine. He would be fine. This was insignificant in the face of all he had been through; insignificant in the face of all he would continue to experience fighting against a regime that had ruled for over ten thousand years.

Kosmo whimpered, and Keith let one of his hands drop from the controls to give him a scratch behind the ear. He had been through worse. He would get through this too. This would be easy, compared. It was as Pidge said—at least he knew now. Maybe this would finally be enough to extinguish his hopes once and for all. Some lessons could only be learned the hard way.

A flashing light appeared on his panel. Keith glanced at it lazily and then felt his heart plummet. A call from Allura. What in the world would she have to say to him? Filled with dread, Keith opened the private channel. Her smiling face appeared on the illuminated display.

“Good evening, Keith!” Allura said. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

He slowly blinked, a crease forming between his brows. “It’s fine. Is something wrong?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” she replied with a shake of her head. “I wanted to apologize for potentially interfering with your team assignments today as well as thank you for accommodating my request. I very much needed to speak to Lance—in person, not over the comms—and your flexibility afforded me that chance.”

“Uh...you’re...you’re welcome,” Keith forced himself to say, wondering if he’d fallen asleep and was having a nightmare now.

“In addition,” Allura continued, her expression serious, “I thought I should let you know that Lance and I are good friends and nothing more. It was part of what we discussed today.”

Keith’s heart jolted. He swallowed hard, mouth feeling dry. “Why are you telling me this?”

Allura didn’t miss a beat. “As the head of Voltron, I feel it’s imperative for you to remain informed about the state of relationships amongst the team. After all, without the trust we have in one another, without our bond, there is no Voltron. Thus, any changes to our relational dynamics should be something you’re kept aware of,” she answered.

Her forehead wrinkled then, her circlet lowering and a slight pout forming on her mouth. “Furthermore, I realized that...given certain contexts, my actions today may have been misconstrued as intentions to—”

“When you say, ‘certain contexts,’” Keith interrupted, annoyed by her overly formal speech, “you mean Lance’s feelings for you?”

Allura’s eyes widened, and then she bowed her head. “Yes, I mean the fact that he once had feelings for me,” she confirmed quietly. “Given that this had become somewhat common knowledge, it seems, I realized my actions could have been interpreted as a, well, romantic gesture, I suppose. And, if it had been, I would have informed you of this as well, but it wasn’t, and I feel it’s important you know that too.”

Keith’s thoughts felt like spun sugar, sweet, but frighteningly fragile. The feelings Lance _once had_ for her? As in past tense? He drew his lower lip into his mouth, biting firmly. He wasn’t supposed to hope anymore. He really wasn’t supposed to.

“Then, is Lance...okay?” he asked uncertainly. “After your talk?”

“Most assuredly,” Allura confirmed with a nod. “It wasn’t a rejection by any means. I had feared, at first, that it would be, but as it turned out, I hadn’t needed to fear at all. We arrived at a mutual understanding and....” She trailed off, lowering her eyes again. “And he helped me with something I’d been too afraid to talk about before. So, again, thank you. I—I’m fairly certain you had intended to speak with him today. I didn’t realize when I asked, but later....” Allura’s words broke off again, her expression growing sad.

Keith drew in a breath, pretending to be engrossed in some sight outside the window. “It’s fine. I’ll still talk to him. Just...later.”

“I do hope so,” Allura stated softly. “I would hate for there to be a rift on the team, especially when we’ve never needed one another more.”

Keith’s face warmed. Apparently, it would behoove him to set up a queue, so everyone could take a turn scolding him and telling him to talk to Lance. The worst part was that he couldn’t even be angry. They were right, after all. Every one of them.

Keith wondered if Lance knew how much the team cared for him—how protective they were of him. He supposed though that these feelings were mutual. They were all close, weren’t they? Keith was the odd one out. No matter how hard he tried to belong, part of him simply never did. He was a puzzle piece whose edges had been irreversibly warped.

“I will,” Keith intoned.

“Good. Take care and try to get some rest. It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah. You too, and—” Keith hesitated, and then glanced down at the screen, where the princess regarded him with polite puzzlement. “And thanks,” he mumbled. “For telling me.”

“Of course.” Allura smiled, and then reached out to end the call. “Good night, Keith.”

“Good night.”

The screen went dark. Keith dropped his head, massaging his temples and squeezing his eyes shut. He’d fucked up so bad. Lance and Allura weren’t together. They were only friends and Keith.... Keith had walked away right as Lance had lit up like the goddamn sun because they were talking again and that was _all he’d wanted_.

“Fuck!” Keith shouted, and then slammed the autopilot button, jumping out of his seat so fast he nearly tripped. Kosmo followed on his heels as he tore off his armor, the wolf’s sensitive ears folding down as each piece clattered to the ground. He shouldn’t have assumed. He should have checked first. He should have asked Lance how his day went or something. That would have been a lot more sensible.

Not that any of this meant Lance returned, or even could return his feelings, but at least Keith wouldn’t have fucking pushed him away again if he’d kept a level head. He thought he’d gotten better at this. He’d thought that with his mom’s and the Blade of Marmora’s help he had mastered his emotions, but evidently not. Then again, maybe if he stopped trying to fight them....

Keith cursed, practically tearing off his flight suit and stepping into the shower. The cool water was like a salve, temporarily soothing his temper as he worked soap over his body and through his hair. Vaguely recalling that he’d fallen into a pit of worm mucus, he scrubbed a little harder.

By the time he finished, his skin was pink and covered in goosebumps, his silk paladin pajamas doing little to keep out the cold. The fact that his sleeves and pant legs were too short didn’t help either. He imagined he looked somewhat ridiculous and was privately thankful that no one would ever have to see him in them.

He crawled into bed, throwing the blankets over his head and then scooting over when Kosmo leapt up and burrowed beneath them as well. Keith wrapped his arms around him, stuffing his face into his fur and resisting the urge to scream. He groaned instead, rolling onto his back and poking his head out of the covers so he could properly breathe. He needed to talk to Lance. He needed him to know that he hadn’t pushed him away again. He needed Lance to know that he wanted to be closer too. He needed him to know that he was sorry he’d created this rift in the first place. It hadn’t helped. It’d only hurt.

Keith swallowed around the tightness in his throat. Lance at least wanted to be his friend, and he wasn’t even allowing him that. Keith wanted to though. He needed to. They _were_ better together. Keith was better with him. He curled his fingers into Kosmo’s fur, vision blurring with tears. God, he desperately needed to talk to Lance.

Keith startled as Kosmo suddenly vanished in a burst of aqua light. His hand fell to the bed, feeling only the remnants of his warmth on the blankets. He sat up, looking around. “Kosmo?” he whispered into the gloom. “Where’d you go?” An empty hollow began to expand in Keith’s chest. Even his wolf couldn’t stand his misery.

Another flash of light flared in his vision. Keith turned, feeling a spark of relief, but then froze as he realized Kosmo hadn’t returned alone.

“Lance?!”

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. So yes, confirmed that was what Kosmo was up to. Though it wasn’t matchmaking so much as the fact he was responding to Keith’s thoughts. Kosmo was like, “Oh, you need to talk to him? I gotchu, fam,” and now Keith is having a heart attack.
> 
> Also, oh ho ho, an unconventional route? Oblivious Pidge! I know it's popular to portray her as already having known it all and I like that too, but I based her response on Pidge's reaction to Keith and Lance choosing one another in the game show episode. She looks super thrown off, mouth in a tiny "o" and eyebrow raised like "wut?" On that note, recall Hunk looks worried in that scene. We'll see that too!
> 
> ANYWAY, I still don’t feel like I got this chapter right, but I couldn’t look at it anymore without wanting to jump out the window. I’m sorry if it wasn’t good. I tried so hard, but...ughhhhhhhhhh *head desk* I feel unsure, so if you did like this chapter, please let me know? And if you didn’t, fhdfhksfkjds, I will absolutely try to make up for it in the next. In general, if you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to leave them as I’d love to chat about this!
> 
> Thank you again for your patience and support. It means the universe to me <3


	9. Black Water Lilies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, cadets! This one was a bit difficult to write because everything begins quite suddenly, but that’s my fault for cutting off the previous chapters before the conversation they were leading to, so poor planning on my part. Anyway, as such this chapter is shorter and stands a touch shaky on its own, but hopefully it’s buoyed enough by its importance. Lots of fluff and feels here. Like...a lot, lol. Honestly, in the end I'm pretty proud of this one! I hope you'll enjoy it. Happy reading! o(^▽^)o

_I guess I never knew what it meant to like someone the way I like **Keith**._

_Keith’s not like any other guy I’ve ever met before. Probably because he’s **part alien** , but still._

_He’s smart, courageous, and **makes me a better person**._

_That is so weird to say._

_And **I’m scared** to tell him how I feel. He wouldn’t take me seriously anyway._

_I don’t have anything to offer. **I’m always following in his footsteps.**_

_I’m just a boy from Cuba._

_But—_

**_He makes me feel like more._ **

*

Lance slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t sure where he was. His brain felt like it’d been lobbed across a baseball field and, in a way, it had as Kosmo had taken him on an impromptu joy ride through the very fabric of space. Dazed, Lance attempted to assess his surroundings. Cold metal pressed against his back, hard and unyielding. A steady and oddly familiar hum of energy resonated in his chest. Soft, purple lights painted the room in their likeness. _Purple...?_ Oh. Oh, no. Oh—

“Lance?!”

The Red Paladin bolted upright, a gasp sounding in his ears. “Keith?!” he shouted, and then scrambled to stand, socked feet slipping against the sleek floor. Heat bloomed across his face, heart rate accelerating like a car on a high-speed chase. He was in the Black Lion. He was in Keith’s bedroom! How? Why? What? He’d been lying in bed, trying to sleep. He’d been trying to sleep but couldn’t because he kept thinking about how much he needed to talk to Keith. He...and then— Kosmo whined by his hip.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, holding out his hands and taking several steps back. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! It was—”

“Lance....”

“It was an accident!” he stammered, looking anywhere but at Keith. “I was thinking of you—I MEAN—I was thinking that I needed to TALK to you and Kosmo must have heard my thoughts or something and brought me here and—”

“Lance—”

“And I know this is probably super creepy, but I swear I didn’t mean to and I’m really sorry! I didn’t even know this was possible! I—”

“LANCE!”

He cringed, eyes shut tight and his shoulders by his ears. Did Keith sound angry? He sounded kind of angry. Lance resisted the urge to groan, to pull out his hair in frustration. How did he keep fucking things up? All he wanted was to close the rift between them, but as always one step forward was another four back. Understanding why this meant so much to him, only made the distance hurt worse.

“This wasn’t your fault,” Keith tersely stated. Lance opened his mouth to argue because it most assuredly was, but then Keith followed up with a softened, “It was mine.”

“Huh?” Lance squeaked. He finally peeked up at him. Keith was sitting on his bed, blankets bunched around his waist and his pale face illuminated by the purple strip of light affixed to the wall above his head. His eyes, already large, were opened wide, but they met Lance’s only briefly before sliding away. Keith bowed his head, shoulders hunched and his fingers tangling in the sheets. Lance wondered if he should go to him, but remained locked in place, heart beats staccato and his palms beginning to sweat.

“I was thinking of you too,” Keith said quietly, and Lance’s heart outright stopped, his breath hitching in his throat. “I was thinking that I needed to talk to you, and I happened to be petting Kosmo at the time, so he must have thought I was asking him to get you.”

“Oh,” Lance uttered. That made a lot more sense than Kosmo reading his thoughts all the way from the Black Lion. As far as he knew, the space wolf needed to be near a person to access their mind. He hadn’t thought it through—only panicked, and it had seemed too great a coincidence to not be true. Lance scratched his head, shifting his weight to one hip. “So, we both wanted to talk to each other then,” he awkwardly concluded.

“Seems that way.” Keith hadn’t looked up again. Lance’s fingers twitched at his side. He tapped a random rhythm against his thigh.

“Uh, well, since I’m here, do you uh, want to talk?” he asked, glancing up at the ceiling. Kosmo groaned and flopped onto his side.

Keith nodded, and then after an expansive moment in which Lance contemplated the precise size and shape of an air vent, added, “Could you come over here? You’re making me nervous just standing there.”

His eyes flicked back down. Keith was considering him warily through his bangs, head slightly tilted, and sitting crisscrossed. Lance flushed, his stomach swooping like a swing. There wasn’t any place to sit aside from Keith’s bed.

As if noticing the same, Keith scooted over, and Lance realized that was exactly what the Black Paladin intended. His mouth went dry, heart tripping on an already too-quick beat. He was only now sorting through the intense jumble of feelings he had toward Keith, and now he was being invited to sit on his bed? Lance thought he might spontaneously combust, but if he stood there like an idiot for even a tick longer he absolutely would, so he drew in a steadying breath and started forward.

Lance could feel Keith’s eyes upon him as he walked. He did that sometimes. Stared. Lance never knew whether he didn’t realize he was doing it, or realized, but didn’t care. So, Keith stared. And Lance suffered. Because nothing was more intense than Keith’s undivided attention. Once, he might have dealt with it by being obnoxious, but now he could do nothing but burn beneath his gaze.

Lance craved it anyway. He always had. Forever seeking that adrenaline rush.

He perched on the edge of Keith’s bed, one leg tucked beneath him and the other dangling freely over the side. The paladins didn’t have beds so much as shipping containers stacked with as much cushioning and blankets as they could find. They weren’t comfortable, but they were all they had. Lance twisted his fingers in his lap, angling himself so he didn’t have to meet Keith’s eyes if he lifted his head. They were so close that Lance could hear him breathe.

“Hi....” Keith said.

Lance peered at him—an automatic response. Keith may have stared, but he had always watched. “Hi,” he said, and then offered a smile because despite his nerves, Keith’s presence made Lance’s chest fill with butterflies. Keith smiled back, and the butterflies took flight. He lowered his gaze, face feeling warm. It was difficult to fathom how he’d gone so long rationalizing his responses instead of accepting them for what they were.

 _I really like Keith_ , he admitted to himself. _I think I’ve liked him for a long time_.

Lance had the unsettling realization that he’d been viewing the world slightly skewed, and now that it’d been tipped back into place, everything looked new again. It scared him more than he cared to admit. Liking Keith had never ended well. Perhaps that was why it felt safer to deny and forget.

“Lance?”

“Hm?” he hummed glumly, toying with the hem of his pajama top.

“Look at me?” Lance did—he was helpless not to, after all. Purple gleamed within Keith’s stormy eyes, his heavy brows low and his mouth pressed in a thin line. Lance watched as a number of emotions played across his face, a twist of pain seeming to stand out amongst the rest. “I’m sorry,” he rasped.

Lance felt his brows lower too. “For?”

“A lot,” Keith said softly. “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass. And—” He wet his lips and then took a tremulous breath, no longer able to meet his gaze. “And I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away.”

Lance’s heart dipped like the setting sun, a prickly thorn lodging in his throat. _Pushing you away._ So, that had been what he was doing. Lance hadn’t imagined it. He felt his eyes sting and looked down at his lap. It hurt more, hearing it confirmed. It meant he couldn’t rely on excuses. It meant that instead of building optimism, he’d been building a lie. The rift between them was purposeful. Lance felt like an idiot for trying to bridge it.

He swallowed thickly, the motion painful. “W-why did you?” he asked, feeling small. _Is it because you hate me after all?_

“I got scared,” Keith confessed, tugging at his too-short sleeve.

“Scared?”

“Of...this,” he said, gesturing vaguely between them, and Lance’s pulse raced like a hare evading capture. “Of, uh....” Keith faltered, and then concluded in a rush, “Of becoming better friends.”

 _Friends_. Right. That’s what they were. Lance cleared his throat. “Because it’s hard for you to get close to people?”

Keith’s mouth twisted, twin creases forming between his brows. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t right, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to push you away because the truth is—the truth—” His words broke on a tremor. Lance felt his heart squeeze. “I—you...you mean a lot to me.”

Lance’s lips parted, his brows rising in surprise. “I do?” he asked, hating how desperate he sounded.

Keith nodded, and Lance was startled to see a tear slide down his cheek. On instinct, he reached out, but Keith flinched, holding up his hand to block him. “Don’t,” he bit out.

The rejection felt like a slap to the face, but the sting subsided as Lance registered how distressed Keith appeared, how tense, as if he feared the slightest touch would shatter him. Lance recalled a time when he was six and tripped, skinning his knees on the cobblestone streets in Cuba. He hadn’t cried until his mom swept him up in her arms, and then he’d sobbed into her pink floral dress. He thought maybe it was like that for Keith now, so he lowered his hand, gripping the edge of his pajamas instead. The silken fabric wrinkled in his grasp.

“It’s okay,” he said, whisper soft.

“No, it’s not!” Keith said with a growl of frustration. “It’s not okay that I was fucking rude to you and it’s not okay that you don’t—that you don’t know—” He scrubbed his eyes and then looked at Lance again, his expression almost angry. “Do you remember the gameshow?” he asked, his tone more demanding than questioning.

Lance reached up to scratch the back of his head. “I uh, try not to,” he said with a weak smile.

Keith pursed his lips and pinched his brows. The smile slid from Lance’s face. “I said that I chose you because I didn’t want to be stuck there for eternity with you but that wasn’t the reason,” he said, capturing Lance’s eyes with a determination that stilled him. “I chose you because I trust you, because you’re dependable, because you’re smart—”

“Keith, wait—”

“I chose you,” he continued, louder still, “because I wanted you to be able to see your family again. I chose you because you’re thoughtful and resilient—”

“Keith,” Lance tried again, his throat constricting with emotion.

“Lance,” Keith softly pressed, sending a shiver down his spine, “I chose you because you believe in others, even when they struggle to believe in themselves. And the universe needs people like that more than ever. The universe needs you. That’s why I chose you.”

Lance gaped, his blood rushing in his ears like the swell of the ocean. “You...you really mean all that?” he asked, voice pitched up. Keith nodded, and Lance looked away, forcing a laugh even as his eyes grew hot with tears. “Well,” he began with unconvincing indifference, “it was only a matter of time before you noticed how awesome I am. I knew you’d come around.” Lance felt his mouth tremble as soon as it closed.

“I always noticed,” Keith said.

“Stop it!” he pleaded. Because Keith _hadn’t_ always noticed—hadn’t even noticed him. Because it was way too much. Because he was one kind word away from losing it completely and he was damned if he was going to let himself cry over a fucking handful of compliments. Even if they had come from Keith, who Lance had feared barely tolerated him. Even if they had come from Keith, whose approval Lance had always wanted.

He swiped at his cheeks, hands noticeably shaking. Movement caught Lance’s eye, and he glanced down to see Keith reaching toward him before hesitating and withdrawing. Lance felt a blush creep over him and looked up the ceiling again. It wasn’t exactly lost on him that they both seemed to want to touch, but something kept holding Keith back. Lance wondered if it was the same something that kept him from reaching out and taking Keith’s hand himself—something much like the hushed caution that falls over a person when handling a fragile object. There was something here that could be broken—maybe even should be, but Lance was too afraid to try.

The two were silent for some time, the only sounds their measured breaths and Kosmo’s claws tapping against the floor as he trotted over and laid beside the bed. Lance allowed his gaze to wander back to Keith’s face, taking in his glossy eyes and the tear tracks on his face. He let out a watery laugh. “God, why are we both crying?” he asked.

Keith gave a stilted laugh of his own, shaking his head and using his palms to wipe his face. “I don’t know,” he whispered shakily. “I’m just...really sorry.”

“Hey, no worries, okay?” Lance said hopefully. “I already knew that the whole like, getting close to people thing scares you. It’s kind of what I figured was happening, but then...I don’t know. It started feeling more personal? Like, I started worrying I might have done something wrong or that maybe you didn’t even like me as a person anymore. But—I mean, you—well you just said otherwise, so....” He trailed off, blushing slightly and running out of words to say.

“I’m sorry,” Keith repeated, gentler than Lance had ever heard him speak. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Yeah,” Lance said, bowing his head as he ran his right thumb over his left. “So, uh, no more pushing away then?” He tried to sound light-hearted, but the unspoken words hidden beneath his tongue made it sound more like a plea. _Please say yes. Please don’t leave again._

“No more pushing,” Keith quietly confirmed.

Lance nodded, swinging his leg. “Right, cool. Cool, cool,” he babbled, trying to lighten the mood. “And if you do feel like you need to pull away again, maybe you could give me a warning signal? You know, something like, ‘alert, alert, inner lone wolf kicking in, need some space, brb.’”

Keith stretched his legs out, leaning back against the wall. “Be our bee?” he asked, frowning in confusion.

“Yeah, you know, ‘brb,’” Lance said. “Stands for ‘be right back.’ Like in texting?”

“We’re not texting...?”

Lance gawked at Keith for an extended tick, and then started to giggle, covering his mouth with his hand. “Oh...oh, Keith,” he said fondly, and then couldn’t help but laugh more as he noticed Keith still looked perplexed. _Cute_. He could be so damn cute.

Keith wrinkled his nose, but then smiled a bit, glancing up to meet Lance’s eyes. “I like your laugh,” he said.

Lance stilled, and then looked shyly away, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, okay, let’s tone it down with the compliments. You’re gonna make me combust.”

“Hm. I clearly don’t give them enough,” Keith said seriously. Lance licked his lips, unsure what to say. He felt warm all over despite the room being cold. “Your foot’s going to fall asleep,” he noted then.

Lance knitted his brows, somewhat puzzled, and then realized he was still sitting on it. “Oh, yeah. Not gonna lie, I kind of lost feeling in it ages ago.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Just...come here.” He slid down on his bed, lying on his back and then gesturing for Lance to do the same beside him. Renewed heat spread through Lance’s core, but he clumsily obliged, wincing as pins and needles began to shoot up his freed leg.

He lied down, folding his hands on his stomach and gazing up at the shadowy ceiling. Lance tried not to pay too much attention to the fact that their shoulders brushed in this position, which of course meant that it was all he could focus on. That, and the heat that emanated from Keith’s body; the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Lance began to fear he would hear the erratic thumping of his heart.

Keith folded his hands on his stomach too. The motion made their elbows bump. “You’re nervous,” he noted. “I’m not used to seeing you nervous.”

“Oh, well, you know....” Lance bit his lip as he heard Keith turn his head to look at him.

“It’s just me,” he said, sounding bemused. “Just Keith.”

Lance laughed lightly at that. “You’ve never been ‘just Keith,’" he mumbled. Another blush rose to the apples of his cheeks. He was grateful the room was dark save for the muted purple glow of the lights.

Keith drew in a sharp breath. Lance could hear it—could hear how he held it for a tick too. “True,” he finally said, tone unexpectedly light. “I’ve also been ‘Samurai.’”

A smile tugged at the corner of Lance’s lips. “’Buddy,’” he added. “‘My man.’ ‘Dude.’ ‘ _Mullet_.’”

“Ah, my favorite,” Keith dryly replied.

Lance giggled, beginning to feel himself relax. “It’s really bad now by the way. Like, the worst it’s ever been,” he said in a manner reminiscent of doctors delivering bad news.

Keith snorted. “Yeah?”

“Yup!” he said gleefully, and then turned onto his side, propping himself up with his elbow. “It _used_ to stop here....” Lance reached out unthinkingly, ghosting his fingers across the back of Keith’s neck. “Just above the collar of your armor,” he elaborated.

“Now, it goes down to here.” He slid his hand lower, following ebon locks curling slightly as they dried and stopping only when he reached the first vertebrae of his spine. Keith seemed to lean into his touch. His pretty eyes had fallen shut. “Terrible,” Lance whispered.

Keith’s eyes opened, dark and gleaming as they found his. “You must hate it more than ever,” he said.

Lance shrugged, heat gathering in his abdomen as he took back his hand. He sucked in a breath, and then managed a lopsided smile. “It might have, you know, grown on me,” he offhandedly replied.

“Yeah?” Keith asked with a smirk.

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“They’d never believe me anyway. You bastard.”

A startled laugh escaped Lance’s lips and he felt his heart flutter as Keith smiled at him. Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay. Maybe...maybe this wasn’t so bad. Yeah. Not so bad. Wow. He flopped onto his back again, overwhelmed, but...happy. Lance felt happy. Happier than he had in a long time. The world felt brighter, more colorful, more whole. _Whole._ Lance ran a hand through his hair, trying to hide the ridiculously large smile that spread across his face. The emptiness that had expanded in Keith’s absence and clung to him despite his return, was finally beginning to loosen its hold.

Lance didn’t want to get ahead of himself, didn’t want to let his hopes get too high, but... _this_? Keith talking to him, joking with him, looking at him as if he was someone important to him? And he was! Lance was. Keith had told him he meant a lot to him, and that felt _amazing_. Like the first break in the clouds after a monsoon; the sun’s rays on a frigidly cold day. Even if this was all he got, Lance thought it could be enough. At least for now, and now was what mattered.

He hoped Keith felt as happy as he did.

~ * ~

Keith was so happy. The feeling danced on his heart like soda bubbles, a fizzing joy that curved his lips into an unbidden smile. Lance had fallen quiet beside him, but he could see through stolen glimpses that he was smiling too. They were just talking again, laughing again, but it felt like so much more. It felt like everything he’d wanted, only there was a lot less kissing. Not that Keith had any experience in that domain. He’d never kissed anyone—had never wanted to—but when it came to Lance, all he seemed to do was _want_.

He'd gotten so close too, to telling the truth. To telling Lance that he was crazy about him. But he was still afraid. Their relationship felt like the first sparks that catch when building a campfire—a little too much, or not enough, and it would quickly snuff out. He didn’t want to accidentally smother what was there. Not when it felt this good. Not when Lance’s reactions to his stumbling attempts at flirting felt so admittedly promising. Hope may have been dangerous, but it was also a lighted candle in the gloom.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s the first thing you want to do when we get to Earth?”

Keith drew his lip into his mouth, lightly biting down and furrowing his brows. He wasn’t sure where this question had come from, but Lance mentioning Earth always stirred up a complicated range of emotions within him. It made him worried because it was up to him to guide them safely back home; it made him frustrated because there was only so much he could say or do before then; and it made him sad because the note of longing was never far from Lance’s voice, the pain of being sundered from his family omnipresent.

It reminded Keith of the evening on that craggy, molten planet, the sky filled with fire and Lance’s eyes filled with tears, overwhelmed by the fear he’d never see his family again. Although Keith was looking forward to being on Earth again, it didn’t hold the same meaning for him as it did for Lance. All he had on Earth was a shack haunted by memories and a cemetery grave.

“Feeling homesick?” Keith asked, delaying a response.

Lance shook his head, his hair rustling against the pillow they shared. “No,” he said, and then, “well, yeah, kind of, but I was more...I don’t know, curious, I guess.”

Unexpectedly, Shiro’s words rose to the forefront of Keith’s mind: _“He wants to be closer to you.”_

Lance wanted to get to know him better. Keith’s brows furrowed a little more. What if he lowered his walls, and Lance didn’t like what he saw? The thought made him queasy, but the question was innocent enough. Clever, in a way, because it left him able to answer it as surface level, or as personally as he felt comfortable with. Whether this was purposeful, Keith wasn’t certain.

“I’ll probably grab some fast food and watch a sunset,” he said. There. That was an okay answer, right?

Lance peeked at him sideways. Keith could feel his gaze on the side of his face. “What kind of fast food?” he asked.

“Uh, a burger and fries?”

“Shhhh!” Lance hissed, abruptly turning onto his side and clapping a hand over Keith’s mouth. “Do you realize who’s in here right now?!”

Keith arched a brow, eyes narrowed in question, but then he snapped them open as he realized. “Moooo,” he replied, only Lance’s hand was still over his mouth, so the sound came out muffled, making the Red Paladin laugh.

“Yes, exactly!” Lance said, fighting to keep a stern face. “Kaltenecker! And Kaltenecker is...?”

He answered, but this time the reply was indistinct against Lance’s palm. The brunet frowned and removed his hand. Keith met his eyes as seriously as he could manage while wanting to smile and repeated, “A burger?”

Lance gasped and looked so utterly scandalized that Keith lost it, curling onto his side as he doubled over with laughter. He couldn’t even look back because every time he imagined Lance’s expression again a renewed wave of laughter rolled over him, his stomach cramping as he fought to breathe.

 “Oh my god, I broke you!” Lance exclaimed, which only had tears gathering at the corners of Keith’s eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed like this. “No more milkshakes for you,” he grumbled with a barely suppressed smile. Keith snorted loudly, and then they were both laughing, the sound clamorous in the metallic room. Kosmo let out a huff, his evening nap disturbed.

Eventually, they calmed, and Keith turned onto his back again, wiping his eyes. “What about you?” he asked. “What’s the first thing you’ll do when we get back?”

“Hug my mom,” Lance answered without hesitation. He flopped onto his back too, one arm tucked beneath his head. “I’m going to give her the biggest hug in the world, eat like nine hundred garlic knots, and then drive out to the coast so I can jump in the ocean. And, if I’m lucky, it’ll rain,” he stated wistfully. “I’ve really missed the rain.”

“The desert shack I lived in had holes in the roof.” The words left Keith’s mouth before he could think about them and, once he did, his mouth fell open in horror. He floundered, desperate to think of something else to say—something that wasn’t absolutely fucking awkward, but no words came.

Luckily, Lance somehow knew how to save him from himself because he chuckled and said, “You know, I think I know a roofer.”

Keith let out a nervous laugh, trying to ignore the vague desire to roll off the bed and crawl into the trash chute with his brethren. “Sorry,” he mumbled, face burning hot.

“No worries. If I had a leaky roof I don’t think I’d like the rain much either,” Lance said, lifting a shoulder in a half-shrug.

“I like it,” he hastened to correct. “I like seeing when the clouds first break. I like how it sounds. I like the smell of it, and the smell of the desert after it rains.” Keith peered at Lance through his hair, watching as his expression softened into something almost fond. The sight made his heartrate quicken, made warmth spread throughout his chest.

Lance gave a hum of agreement—a cheerful sound that reminded Keith of spring. “I like the way it feels,” he added to their list. “Like...taking a deep breath after being underwater.”

“Yeah.”

The two fell quiet, minds countless millions of light-years away. Keith wasn’t sure how long they floated before Lance grounded them again. “Mind if I ask you another question?”

“Uh, no, go ahead,” he said.

“Would you stay? On Earth, I mean. After all this is over?” Lance asked it casually, but there was a quaver in his voice that gave Keith pause, that let him know the question held more weight than he let on. An uneasiness prickled his skin.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. Quietly. “It...it would depend on a lot.”

Lance sat up, slightly bending his left leg while letting the right hang off the bed. “Oh,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, yeah, that—that makes sense. Who knows what’ll happen?”

Keith sat up too, pulling himself into a cross-legged position just behind Lance and to his left. He knitted his brows, a frown forming on his mouth. He had the sinking feeling that he’d said something wrong, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Keith _didn’t_ know whether he’d stay on Earth. He didn’t even know if there would be an “over.” If the Paladins managed to free the universe from the Galra Empire’s grasps, who was to say it’d stay free of threats? Who was to say there wouldn’t be those who still needed help? The future was too vast and unknown to ponder.

He peered warily at Lance but couldn’t read his expression. The angle of the light cast his face in shadows. Keith lifted his hand, moving to place it on Lance’s back, but then let it fall into his lap again, lost. “Would—” he hoarsely began, and then cleared his throat to try again. “Would you stay? Even if there was more to do?”

Lance looked back at him over his shoulder, his expression curious. “Like if the universe still needed Voltron?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course not!” he stated indignantly. “I’m sticking with you until y—” Lance froze, eyes widening some, and then turned away, shoulders hunched. Keith thought he saw the flash of a grimace on his face. “I mean I’m...I’m sticking with _you guys_ until, uh, we’re not needed anymore.”

Keith stared. His heart flitted like a honey bee’s wings. Had that...been a meaningful slip? He opened his mouth, and then closed it, half-formed responses stuck on his tongue. Whether it’d been an accident or not, the words were a verbal confirmation that Lance wouldn’t leave his side. Keith couldn’t say why this warmed him so much. He had already realized this—already known.

“Good,” he murmured. “Because I couldn’t do this without you.”

Lance made a small, surprised sound. It cut through Keith like a serrated edge, making him cringe with shame. It shouldn’t have been so surprising to hear. He’d pushed Lance away too many times; made him fear Keith didn’t even like him as a person. He’d said so himself. Guilt writhed in his stomach. It shouldn’t have been surprising, but Keith understood well why it was.

“Sure you could,” Lance said with an uneasy smile. “I’m just—”

“You’ve never been ‘just’ anything!” Keith snapped. His tone was too sharp, he knew, but he couldn’t stand it any longer. He may have understood, but understanding didn’t change how awful it felt to hear Lance struggle to believe his words. It didn’t change how awful it felt to know that this was all his fault. Keith had made Lance feel like he didn’t matter to him when there was little else in his life that mattered more.

His heart skipped several reckless beats. He could tell him. Keith could tell him everything. He could tell him that he _was_ everything. He could tell him that he was pretty sure he was falling in love with him and that _this_ , not fucking ‘becoming better friends,’ was what scared the living hell out of him. He could, but....

Keith swallowed hard and tugged at his pajama sleeve. Why was this still so difficult? What was he so afraid of? Pidge’s words rose like ghosts within the confines of his mind.

_“Do you think he’s cruel?”_

No. Not at all. Keith thought Lance was kind-hearted, encouraging, and more understanding that he deserved.

_“Do you think he’s the type to abandon people?”_

No. Even though Keith had pushed him away countless times, Lance was there anyway and always with an outstretched hand. He wouldn’t leave him—hadn’t. Keith had been the one to leave, time and time again.

_“Then why do you think he’d be cruel and abandon you?”_

He didn’t. He didn’t think that. Not anymore. Even if Lance didn’t return his feelings, it wouldn’t destroy what they had. They weren’t that fragile. Even within all this frustrating bullshit, they’d remained...a good team. There would always be something that held them together.

Keith took a shaky breath. “Lance, I—”

The Black Lion roared before he could finish composing his thought, the sound so loud they both jumped. Startled shouts escaped their throats, hands flying up to cover their ears. The other Lions joined in, a rumbling thunder that reverberated beneath their ribs. They sought one another’s gaze, seeking comfort, but finding only mirrored expressions of fear. Kosmo leapt into Lance’s lap and the two vanished in a blaze of aqua light.

Keith shoved down the feeling of loss that swept over him, scrambling out of bed and nearly tripping as his blankets tangled around his feet. He kicked them off and ran to find his paladin armor, changing at a speed he hadn’t used since Allura’s timed drills on Arus. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as he slammed his helmet onto his head.

“What’s going on?” he demanded over the comms. “What was that?”

“I’m not sure,” came Pidge’s response, level, but out of breath. “I literally just fell asleep when the Green Lion woke me up. Shiro’s beside me. We’ve nearly reached the pilot’s cabin.”

“Same here!” Hunk reported, the thud of rapid footsteps underlying his words. “Oh man, the Yellow Lion’s really unhappy. I don’t know—”

“Hold on!” Allura interjected. “Is anyone else seeing this?”

“Seeing wh—WHAT IS THAT?” Pidge yelled.

Keith burst into the pilot cabin of the Black Lion and then froze in his tracks, staring wide-eyed at what appeared to be a massive electrical storm ahead. It spanned as far as he could see and flickered ominously, interstellar clouds forcibly illuminated from within.

“Uh, yeah, I see it now,” Hunk stammered. “Kind of wish I didn’t.”

“This doesn’t make any sense. My scanners aren’t picking anything up!” Pidge informed them. Keith growled, taking a seat and running several scans himself, but nothing came up, the tempest evidently foreign to their tech.

Without warning, the center of the storm ruptured, blinding white light blasting from its core and rushing toward them. Keith yelled, struggling to regain control of the Black Lion as they were hurtled off course. He could hear the others screaming over the comms, the Lions tossed about in the slipstream as easily as leaves.

“What the quiznak is this?!” Lance angrily exclaimed.

Keith grunted, the Black Lion forced into an ungainly somersault. “Whatever it is, we got to move!”

The Lions whirled, efforts to fight the relentless current of energy abandoned for attempts to outrun it. They plunged, spun, and pivoted, but one by one they were struck by great bolts of lightning which wrapped around the Lions like parasitic vines. Vertigo swept over Keith, his stomach lurching and renewed shouts resounding in his ears.

“Break high!” he ordered through gritted teeth. The Paladins ascended as a single unit and for a brief, exultant moment it seemed they had escaped.

Darkness enfolded them again, tranquil and unassuming. A deceptive serenity overturned by terror as the wrathful gale _exploded_. Keith screamed, pain inundating every nerve in his body, and then everything, everything, was searing white light.

~*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, damn. That happened. WHO SAW THAT COMING? *hides* I’m just, ya know, following these episodes, more or less. The next scene is going to challenge me on a whole new level. *dies a little* Wait, who am I kidding? *DIES A LOT* Things aren’t fully resolved for these two yet, but they’re getting there! And the fluff was nice, yes? Yessssss.
> 
> Thank you sincerely for reading and please, please, please don’t hesitate to comment and let me know what you thought! Your feedback fuels me during times of despair. Also, it makes me smile a lot? I LOVE YOU? Hhhhhhhhhhhh.
> 
> OH, and if you're in need of some more fluff I actually wrote and posted another Klance fic called [Code Word Kisses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300697/)! It’s a one shot and literally nothing but sugary sweetness, I promise, lol. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading and for all your support. It really does mean the universe to me!
> 
> \--
> 
> EDIT: HEY! There's an art piece for this chapter now! Subtlehysteria did a super cute drawing of Lance looking scandalized by Keith's joke (loooool) which you can see [HERE](https://subtlehysteria.tumblr.com/post/179284485508/lance-gasped-and-looked-so-utterly-scanadalized)! Check it out and send the artist some love! I KNOW I DID! ^.^ <3


	10. Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, everyone! Now, how does one make a kind, caring, upbeat boy snap? Add one dose confusing feelings, a spoonful of space madness, a heaping dollop of unresolved hurts, and another boy with walls of steel and you’ve got one mercurial concoction ready to ignite. Yikes. This was a helluva ride to write. Thank you sincerely for your patience and I hope you enjoy the descent!
> 
> Important Note: As a heads up, my main objective writing this chapter was to try and make sense of the events that happened. That is, what their thought processes might have been and what might have led the Paladins to saying the things they did. Unfortunately, and what I didn't fully realize until afterward, is that this means the episode is left relatively unchanged. There are additions and changes, of course, but it doesn't deviate wildly, so if you want to skip this one, I completely understand. As long as you've seen the episode, you wouldn't be confused in future chapters. Otherwise, happy reading ^^;

_1 st Varga_

Lance floated, suspended like a specimen in a scientist’s jar. He gritted his teeth against the throbbing in his skull, against the pain that lingered in his limbs. Spots of color pulsed behind his eyelids, remnants of the blinding white light that had assailed them.

His thoughts collected slowly, viscous ruminations congealing like resin. He shouldn’t have been floating. The internal mechanisms that helped the Lions generate their own gravity had failed. His stomach roiled, nausea sweeping over him and compounded by his weightlessness. Lance blinked his eyes open. Within the inky depths of space, the Lions listlessly rotated.

“Is everyone alright?” Lance startled at the sound of Keith’s voice—rough and strained. It kickstarted his thoughts, elevated his pulse. A stifled groan sounded over the comms.

“I’m here,” Pidge croaked.

“Still alive,” he hastened to say.

“That was crazy!” Hunk exclaimed, followed by a distinct clang and a yelp of pain. “Ouch! My bad.”

“Careful, buddy,” Lance said with a grimace. “Allura?”

“I’m fine,” she mumbled, and then gasped, sending another jolt of adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Coran! Romelle!” she cried out. “They’re not moving!”

Lance snapped his head in the direction of the Blue Lion, as if this would enable him to see, and caught a glimpse of a dark shape floating in his periphery. He inhaled sharply, spinning around, only to see Kosmo frozen before him. The space wolf’s lips were curled in a snarl, hackles raised, and paws splayed wide. Lance reached out, his heart sinking as he touched rigid flesh. “Kosmo?” he whispered. “What’s wrong, boy?”

“Shiro?” Pidge called too, a notable quaver in her voice. “Can you hear me?” A quick succession of beeps chased her words. Lance thought he heard Keith draw in a quick breath. “He’s also frozen,” she announced, “but his vitals are strong.”

Lance swallowed thickly. “Yeah. Kosmo too. What’s going on?”

“Pidge, is Shiro wearing his helmet?” Allura asked.

“No, he’s not.”

“I see. Then our Paladin armor must have protected us from the shock. If Shiro had been wearing his helmet, he would have been protected too.” A series of images flashed unbidden through Lance’s mind. Slamming into Allura’s Lion, a wrathful bolt of energy striking Red, searing pain ripping through his body before everything became nothing.

They had been fortunate. Their Paladin armor may have had unique protective capabilities, but Lance knew firsthand its limitations too.

This time, at least, he hadn’t lost consciousness. This time, at least, his heart hadn’t stopped.

“The Blue Lion is completely incapacitated,” Allura added, frustrated.

Lance shook his head, dislodging the thoughts. “Yeah,” he said. “Red is out too.” He could no longer feel the Lion’s comforting energy. Every light was shut off, every panel nonresponsive.

“Pidge,” Keith cut in, “is there any way to get the Lions back up and running?”

“Maybe, but I don’t know how long it’ll take,” she admitted. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re all drifting in opposite directions after that blast.”

“If we don’t get the power back on, we might lose each other!” Hunk pointed out in alarm. Lance flicked his gaze out Red’s eyes again. The Lions were indeed floating farther apart.

“Okay,” Keith said. “The power’s gonna have to wait. Our top priority is tethering the Lions together.” There was an uneasy tilt to the Black Paladin’s words. It made Lance wish he could reach out and squeeze his hand.

“I’ve got some zip line in my hull,” Allura suggested.

“Wait, we’re getting out of our Lions to do this?” Hunk asked in disbelief. “We don’t even know what that energy pulse was!”

“It’s the only way to stay together,” Keith insisted. “Allura, grab that zip line! Let’s get moving.”

Mumbled understandings came through the mics. Lance gave Kosmo a scratch behind the ear. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured, unsure whether he was speaking more for the wolf’s benefit, or his own. “I’ll be right back.”

He used the headrest of his pilot seat as a springboard, kicking off and making his way back and down to Red’s massive jaws. The fit was tight, Red’s mouth not quite open, but Lance managed to wiggle his way out, holding onto Red’s canine to scout his surroundings.

They were scattered, all of them, each Lion spinning in a different direction. Lance wet his lips. He wasn’t sure they’d be able to do this.

“You’re going to need to push your Lions to my location!” Allura called. “Otherwise, there won’t be enough cord to attach us together.”

“Uh, by ourselves?” Hunk asked skeptically. “I don’t think that’s possible.” Lance watched as he tried to push the Yellow Lion with the aid of his jetpack, but the effort was futile, the Lion barely budging before his pack shorted out. “Yeah, no, we’re definitely gonna need more help!”

“Alright. Everyone to the Yellow Lion!” Keith directed.

Lance pushed off, activating his jetpack as he soared toward Yellow. He could see the others converging; could see too the mixture of determination and fear coiling in their eyes.

It didn’t surprise him when his attention lingered on Keith, nor did it surprise him when Keith glanced back at him. His indigo eyes were shadowed, face drawn, and his heavy brows low. Lance offered him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Keith stared, but then something softened in his gaze, the lines on his face smoothing and an apostrophe forming at the corner of his mouth. Lance’s face warmed, his heart lifting like a dandelion seed on a summer breeze. They looked at one another for a moment longer, and then bashfully turned away, mirrored smiles on their faces.

Lance pressed his palms flat against the Yellow Lion’s hull. Together, they could do this. Together, they would be okay.

As one, the Paladins initiated their jetpacks, pushing them to their limits as they struggled to move the enormous Lion Bot. Groans and muted curses sounded in their ears. The other Lions continued to revolve. A flash of light burst at the edge of Lance’s vision. He spun, his blood draining from his face as he registered the sight before him.

“Shit!”

“What?” Hunk asked, and then blanched when he turned and saw the bright bolt of light too. The tempest had reformed, thin ropes of lightning lashing across the endless expanse of space. Its glowing core swelled at an alarming rate, a dying star poised to take its final breath.

“Everyone, hold on!” Keith yelled.

The storm exploded with the force of a bomb, ejecting a massive surge of energy that threatened to dislodge them. Lance shouted as he was thrashed against the Yellow Lion; heard the others shout too as they clung desperately to Yellow’s jaw.

“I’m losing my—!” Pidge began to say, and then shrieked, the current wrenching her grip open and hurling her out of sight.

“Pidge!” Lance shouted, his heart smashing into his ribs. “Pidge, can you—” Hunk’s stricken cry swallowed the remainder of his words, the Yellow Paladin’s hands slipping and his body slamming into him like a bowling ball into a pin. Lance choked, his breath forced from his lungs and replaced by terror as they barreled into Allura and Keith. Their shouts joined the chaos, fingers sliding from the Yellow Lion’s frame as they were catapulted into the blackened abyss.

They tumbled head over heels, head over heels—the stream of charged particles pitching them further and further away. Screams tore from their throats, jetpacks proving useless against the relentless assault.

“I’m losing sight of the Lions!” he heard Pidge yell.

“STAY TOGETHER!” Keith commanded. Lance’s heart raced, breaths ragged pants as he fought the rising panic that threatened to consume him. He cast his gaze about, locking onto the sight of Hunk spiraling toward him. Lance reached out, grabbing his hands and then grunting as the momentum nearly yanked his arms from their sockets.

“I got Hunk!” he said through gritted teeth. Lance glanced up, watching as Allura managed to capture Pidge, both her hands clinging to the youngest paladin’s forearm.

“I’ve got Pidge!” she shouted. Lance released one of Hunk’s hands as the pair flew toward them, seizing the Green Paladin’s free wrist and pulling her close. Horror flooded Lance as he searched for Keith, a cry of relief nearly escaping his lips as Allura loosed one of her hands from Pidge’s arm and caught the Black Paladin’s instead. Their fingers wound tightly around each other’s wrists.

“Fire your jetpacks!” Keith instructed. “Let’s get stabilized!”

Twin sets of aqua flames ignited from every pack, the opposing forces gradually curbing their speed. Allura adjusted her grip on Pidge, wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her securely against her chest. Pidge’s newly freed hand joined her other on Lance’s arm. She clung to him, staring out to space with widened eyes. Keith stretched to grasp Hunk’s ankle. They came to a halt in an imperfect circle. Darkness enfolded them, kept solely at bay by piddling pinpricks of light.

“Does—does anyone have eyes on the Lions?” Lance asked.

“I can’t see them,” Pidge said.

Allura’s gaze hardened, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Neither can I.”

“At this point, I don’t even know which direction they’re in,” Hunk admitted. The group looked to Keith, suspended upside down at the head of the circle. He looked down at them all, his expression grave.

“It’ll be okay,” he reassured them. “Our suits will recycle enough moisture to keep us hydrated for a little while. We just need to hang tight. We have each other.”

Lance lifted his brows, his mouth opening in surprise. Both the optimism and the declaration that they at least had one another were unexpected from Keith. Unexpected, but welcomed. It made him hopeful that maybe Keith really did feel like he’d found his place among them; that if he had the choice to leave again, maybe he’d stay.

Their eyes met, and Lance’s pulse quickened. “We should readjust,” he said, holding Keith’s gaze. “Your blood’s gonna rush to your head.”

“Hanging upside down for a prolonged period also raises the risk of asphyxiation, ruptured blood vessels, and can result in difficulties maintaining blood pressure.”

“Thanks, Pidge,” Lance muttered dryly.

“What? I was agreeing!”

“Okay,” Keith said, cutting off any further retort. “I want us to have an unobscured view in every direction, so let’s reform the circle facing out with our arms linked. That way we won’t lose each other either.”

The team nodded and began to shift, each turning one at a time so as not to create too much momentum. Keith and Allura traded places in the shuffle, the two positioned directly behind him. It was the way he wanted it, so he could always have Keith’s back. Despite this reassurance, their new arrangement felt lonelier. All Lance could see was the interminable openness of deep space. If it weren’t for the sound of their collective breaths and the feel of Hunk and Pidge at his sides, he would have felt utterly alone.

Lance forced a cheerful expression onto his face. “Nothing to worry about,” he said breezily. “Something else will be along to kill us any minute now.”

He was half-joking, half-not. Something was always trying to kill them, but Lance felt a sense of dread whisper against his neck when no one replied, not even to chastise him. It meant, perhaps, that they agreed. Or, perhaps, that they were too worried to speak. Neither conclusion boded well.

“Any minute,” Lance repeated, fishing for a response. Silence stretched onward. The Red Paladin fell quiet too. They were stranded in the darkest reaches of space with nothing but each another and a spindly strand of hope.

Lance held tight to all of it.

If this was all they had, it would have to be enough.

~*~

_5 th Varga._

Hunger gnawed at Keith’s stomach, the growing void making him grimace. It’d been vargas since they’d last eaten, even longer since they’d last slept. Fatigue tugged at his eyelids, but he forced them to stay open, constantly alert for the slightest possibility of escape. Mindless chatter had broken up the first few vargas, but now they were hushed, misery turning them sullen and uncommunicative. Small talk was unimportant in the face of a problem so large.

Keith chewed his lip, wracking his brain for the hundredth time to think of something—anything that could get them out of this. The only idea he could come up with was to set off in search of the Lions, but that would only expend their energy faster and there was no guarantee they’d fly in the right direction. They were lost, so completely that Keith felt the weight of it pressing on his shoulders, pressing on his chest. He feared his bones would snap beneath it.

Lance hummed, a few scattered notes followed by silence before he started up and hummed a few more. He had done the same earlier, but only for a couple refrains. It gave Keith the impression he was singing in his head, the hummed notes incidental—absent afterthoughts. They gradually grew in completion, stringing together a simple melody that eased the tension from his body; made it easier to breathe. The dulcet tones warmed him despite the cold press of space.

“Lance?” he called, voice hoarse from disuse.

“Sorry,” he quickly mumbled.

“No, it’s....” Keith drew his lower lip into his mouth, considering. “What are you humming? I don’t recognize it.”

Lance squirmed, he could feel it through their chain. Keith suspected if he could see him, he’d catch sight of a reddish tinge rising to his cheeks. “Um...it’s, uh...it’s a lullaby my mom used to sing me,” he said, sounding embarrassed. “Well, all of us, I guess, but I’m the youngest, so I wouldn’t remember that.”

Keith stared at the specks of light sparkling in the ether. He wondered if his mom had ever sung him lullabies. As far as he could remember, his dad hadn’t, but he did remember him listening to the radio and singing along as he attempted to make them breakfast. Charred bacon, fried eggs, grits sweetened with maple syrup, and the twang of country music greeting him each morning. Until it didn’t, and nothing was ever the same again.

He cleared his throat, trying to knock loose the lump that’d formed there. “Do you know the words?”

“Yyyeah,” Lance said shyly, holding out the initial sound. “But they’re uh, in Spanish.”

“Okay.”

“Wait, you want me to...?”

“If that’s alright,” he replied. Lance didn’t answer immediately. It made Keith worry his request had been weird. The others hadn’t spoken.

Perhaps Lance noticed this too because he asked, “Do you guys mind?”

“Not at all,” Allura said.

“Nah,” Pidge chimed in

Hunk gave him an encouraging nudge. “Go ahead, buddy.”

“Okay....” Lance took a breath, hesitated, and then quietly began to sing. His voice was unsteady at first, but settled as he continued, soft and sweet. The unfamiliar words fell like a rain shower upon flower petals; floated like a child’s paper boat on a stream; sighed like the ocean against sun-warmed sand. They made Keith fall for Lance all over again; made him wonder if he’d ever stop, and then decide he never wanted to.

He closed his eyes, not to sleep, but to dream. To envision seeing his mom again; smelling the desert after it rained; to remember how good it had felt to lie beside Lance and laugh until their stomachs hurt. He had to experience it all again. He had to find them a way out of this.

Lance’s lullaby came to a close, and he repeated it once more. On the chorus, Allura joined, always having had a keen ear for languages. Lance faltered, and Keith felt him shift, likely looking back at her in surprise. Allura turned her head to meet his gaze, but Keith could still see the sheepish smile that curved her lips. The song resumed, Allura accompanying him on the refrains, until Hunk and Pidge joined too, not in words, but humming the tune. The four synchronized in their own way. They fit together. Always had. Better than Keith ever did.

He focused on the twinkling stars again. They were so very far away.

Lance sang the final verse and trailed off into a silence that was quieter than before.

*

_8 th Varga_

Keith squeezed his eyes shut and resisted the urge to groan. He could no longer stomach the sight of the stars. They whirled and blurred as if he were on a spinning tea cup ride. He tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry. His mouth felt like it’d been filled with couch stuffing. The alarm indicator on his helmet bleeped, shrill and incessant. His head throbbed at the noise.

“Everyone, sound off,” he said wearily.

“Lance here.”

“Pidge here.”

“Allura here.”

Keith waited, lips pursed. He wrinkled his nose. “Hunk?”

“I’m hiding,” he replied.

“What the fuck?”

“Keith....” Lance murmured.

He released a huff of air, but made an attempt to curtail his frustration. “I need you to sound off, Hunk. It’s important to maintain discipline and mental acuity in these situations. These techniques helped my mom and I through the Quantum Abyss.”

“Keith is right,” Allura added, as if he’d asked. “Being lost in space has been known to drive one mad. Too much time contemplating infinity is not good for the mind.”

“I like to keep busy calculating pi out as far as I can,” Pidge announced, evidently cheered by the thought alone.

“Wait. Guys!” Lance yelled. “Look! Lights!”

Keith twisted around, feeling his heart clench as he caught of a beam of light stretching across the abyss, creating its own luminescent horizon. A mist of interstellar matter feathered at its core, from which a stream of flapping lights began to emerge.

 _Flapping_? He made a face, his brain slow to comprehend what his eyes were seeing.

“Perhaps it’s a ship!” Allura stated excitedly.

“Yes!” Hunk cheered, releasing Allura’s hand and punching his fist into the air. “We’re rescued!” Their circle fanned out. Keith’s heartrate accelerated, a bead of sweat collecting on his temple.

“This is no ship,” he muttered. The horizon glowed a rich golden hue, countless hundreds of lights now soaring toward them on graceful wings. No, not lights. Butterflies? Birds? They coalesced, swirling around the Paladins in a great, glittering vortex.

“Amazing,” Pidge breathed.

Allura lifted her hand to touch one, her mouth agape and her shining eyes round with wonder. “They’re beautiful,” she sighed. Keith grasped her hand firmly, in case he had to snatch her away. The birds seemed harmless, but they were overwhelmingly outnumbered. He watched, apprehensive, as one flit passed his face. They looked like winged ping pong balls, but metallic and adorned with pale, neon lights.

“We should follow them,” Hunk suggested, a dreamy quality to his voice.

“What?” Keith asked, startled.

“Yeah! They must be heading somewhere. Like a hive or something,” he elaborated. “Wherever that is, it must be better than floating around here just, like, starving to death.”

Keith’s face fell. He worried his lip. None of this made sense. Where had they even come from? He glanced down their line at Lance, who gaped at the creatures as if mesmerized. They didn’t have many choices. Hunk had a point. They would starve out here; die out here. Maybe the birds knew where to go.

He lifted his chin, the line of his jaw hard with resolve. “Hunk’s right. Let’s follow them. Everyone, stay together!”

They activated their jetpacks, but the instant the flames ignited the creatures vanished. Keith gasped, whirling around. There was nothing—not even a trail of departing lights.

“Where’d they go?” Lance asked, nonplussed.

Allura blinked rapidly, and then gave her head a shake. “Were they even real?”

“I guess they could’ve been a hallucination,” Pidge slowly began, “but that usually only happens when you’re going mad.”

Keith drew a sharp breath, limbs tense and his eyes wide. Lance glanced at him questioningly, his face creased with concern. He looked away, brows knitted, and his lips pressed together. They _weren’t_ going mad. They would be okay. They just needed to hang tight for a little while longer.

_And then what?_

He shook the question from his mind.

“Reform the circle,” he ordered.

They did, a minor shuffle switching Hunk and Allura’s places. Hunk was on his left now, Pidge on his right. Lance and Allura floated behind him, linked. A spark of annoyance caught in his mouth, but he smothered it quickly, clenching his teeth. It wasn’t like that between them. Allura had said so and this wasn’t the fucking time for petty jealousy. He had to save them. He was their leader. It was his responsibility.

_You’re failing, Keith. You’re failing them all, failing Lance. He won’t ever see his home again._

Keith’s breaths became ragged. His heart strained in his chest. Pidge’s voice joined his discordant thoughts: _“We could die out here, Keith. You know that. We all know that.”_ He did. He did know that, but rarely had it felt so tangible. He could sense it, a fear slithering up their spines, grasping them by the backs of their necks and sending them to their knees. Ice sluiced through his veins. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t. But what could he do?

“Keith?” Lance said gently. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” he snarled, and then winced, swallowing hard. “I’m fine,” he repeated, quieter, heart thrumming. Lance didn’t respond. A buzzing tension infiltrated the circle, drawing uneasy breaths. Keith shut his eyes, desperate for a reprieve from the omnipresent crush of space. They stung like nettles as they prickled with tears. What could he do?

Nothing.

_Nothing._

~*~

_13 th Varga._

Lance leaned his head back, even the simple movement making his muscles groan in protest. Every nerve within his body hurt, his limbs stiff from being held in one position too long. Time felt insubstantial. All he knew was his discomfort and the unrelenting rise of dread. It set his teeth on edge—made him feel like a bomb on its penultimate tick. Exhaustion and hunger fought a fruitless battle, leaving him lightheaded and sick to his stomach.

It crossed his mind that it would be better if something came along and killed them. It would be more merciful than this slow and steady death.

“Everyone....” Keith exhaled, as if the effort of speaking this single word had winded him. “Everyone, sound off.”

“Allura here,” she murmured.

“Lance here,” he rasped.

“Pidge here.” An expectant pause followed, the Paladins waiting with bated breath.

“Hunk!” Keith snapped, making them all jump. “Sound off immediately!”

Lance frowned. He opened his mouth to try and soothe him, but Allura spoke first, her tone reproachful and unamused: “Keith, you don’t have to—”

“It’s okay, Allura. It’s okay,” Hunk said placatingly. “I was just kind of, you know, lost in this fantasy that we’d get to Earth and, you know, the Garrison would throw us a parade and maybe I’d meet some hotshot pilot who wanted to check out the Yellow Lion, and then maybe the Yellow Lion would take a shine to her, obviously, and I’d be like, ‘Whoa, whoa. I can’t stand in-between you two. The bond is strong here.’”

Lance emitted an exasperated sigh, his brain too tired to make sense of his words. “Hunk, what are you talking about?”

“Fantasizing about quitting Voltron,” Keith answered lowly. His stomach dropped. _Wait, what?_

“No, not quitting,” Hunk corrected. “Just, you know, being the bigger man. Just, stepping aside to pass the baton down to a younger generation.”

Allura joined in the conversation, but Lance didn’t catch what she said, too distracted by the fact that Keith had tensed up. He glanced over his shoulder, but as soon as he did Keith jerked in what seemed to be an attempt to break from their circle.

“What are you doing?” Hunk yelped, struggling to keep him in place. Keith didn’t respond, growling and fighting harder to get away. Lance’s heart scrambled like an insect caught in a jar.

“What’s happening? What’s wrong?” he cried out.

“I don’t know!” Pidge yelled, her hold on the Black Paladin’s arm beginning to slip. “Quit it, Keith! Stop! Stop!”

Lance let go of Allura to help Pidge, but he froze in shock when Keith thrashed and wrenched himself from their grasps. Hunk lunged, recapturing Keith’s wrist as he shouted and flailed, swiping at some unseen entity. Allura tightened her hold on Hunk’s arm, teeth gritted as she fought to haul them back. Lance seized her hand again to assist when Pidge suddenly activated her jetpack, shooting forward with such speed that her hand slipped from Lance’s grip. She crashed into Keith, wrapping her limbs around him in an effort to keep him still.

Keith whirled on them, dark circles outlining his flashing eyes and the scar on his face showing in stark relief against his pallid skin. “My bayard won’t work,” he started to yell, “we don’t know where the Lions are, and we’re being attacked by things we can’t even see!”

“Keith, what are you talking about?” Lance asked as softly as he could with his mounting concern. “There’s nothing out here. It’s just us.”

Keith’s eyes darted, as if to find and point out exactly what they were being attacked by, but of course he found nothing but the star-splattered canvas of space. His brow creased, uncertainty flitting across his expression. Pidge let out a sigh of relief, but Lance still watched him, his breaths stilted and his fingertips cold. He wanted Keith to look at him, but he was determinedly avoiding his gaze, his face pinched and coated in a light sheen of sweat.

 “Keith...?”

“Drop it,” he said shortly. Lance deflated, but Keith didn’t say anything else to him, instead glancing at the group at large and muttering, “Reform the circle.”

They wordlessly complied, Pidge flying over to take Lance’s hand and Hunk settling at his left again. Even without being near him Lance could tell Keith wasn’t okay. His breaths were shallow, his body too rigid. Lance opened his mouth, and then closed it, cutting off the words he wanted to say. If he tried to reach out again Keith would only snap—the same as he did last time, the same as he always fucking did.

 _“No more pushing away then?”_ Lance had asked not even a quintant ago.

 _“No more pushing,”_ Keith had said.

Bullshit. Had he even meant any of it? Were any of the fucking words he’d said true? Fire licked across Lance’s skin; the taste of blood flooding his mouth as he accidentally bit his cheek. Keith would always pull away. It was all he knew how to do.

Hunk peeked sideways at him and then gave his arm a comforting squeeze. Lance released a tremulous breath and squeezed him back, but the flames didn’t ebb. The hollow void within him was widening again, leaving him wondering why he’d ever thought it would close in the first place.

*

_?? Varga_

Lance’s eyelids sagged, his head drooping to his chest. He drifted into a plane of non-reality in which he was safe within the Red Lion and permitted to sleep. The Red Lion became the Garrison, became his childhood home in Cuba. He laid his head in his mother’s lap, feeling her fingers run through his hair as she murmured, _“Te quiero, te quiero con todo.” I love you. I love you with everything._ He was smaller now, a bundle nestled in her arms. The sun shone through sheer curtains, the ocean breathing outside the open window as she sang a lullaby.

A high-pitched beeping jostled him from his dream. He reluctantly opened his eyes, waiting for the check-in that was soon to follow. The noise persisted, but Keith didn’t speak. Lance’s mouth twitched into a frown. He used what felt like the final vestiges of his energy to peer over his shoulder.

“Keith, shouldn’t we sound off?” he asked, his voice gravelly.

“What’s the point?” he droned in reply.

Lance’s frown deepened. Keith had said this was important. He’d said that these were the techniques he and his mom used to survive the Quantum Abyss. Was he...giving up? The thought made his skin itch with frustration. If Keith wouldn’t do it, then he would.

“Lance here,” he said evenly.

“Pidge here.”

“Allura here."

Hunk let out a despondent sigh. “I am Hunk.”

Pidge sighed too, absently lifting one of her legs. “I wonder how my dad and Matt are doing.”

“Better than us, hopefully,” Keith bitterly remarked. Lance bristled at his tone, the muscles in his shoulders tensing. _Stop._

“My father had something he always said in dire situations,” Allura remarked.

Keith snorted. “‘Give up?’” he guessed with a sneer. Lance stiffened. Pidge sucked in a breath. Allura pinned him with a piercing stare.

“I’m sorry?” she asked incredulously.

“It just doesn’t seem like he was a real fighter when the chips were down,” Keith drawled. _Stop it._

Hunk cringed, glancing over his shoulder. “Keith, come on!”

“You have a lot of nerve questioning someone’s leadership seeing how you left us!” Allura spat. Lance’s blood rushed, his heart pounding in his ears.

“Allura, please!” Hunk yelped.

Keith whipped his head toward her, his words pushed through gritted teeth, “As I recall, you were the one who got us all cozied up to Lotor.” _STOP IT!_

“Keith!” Lance shouted, his body trembling with rage. “You ran away—"

“Lance, no!” Pidge cried.

“Maybe you should have just stayed away,” he finished. Keith gaped, a reaction that was only amplified when Hunk tore from the circle and whirled to face them.

“Lance! Keith! Everyone, stop!” he pleaded, raising up his hands. “Look, I get what’s happening here. You’re all brave heroes who don’t know how to react to being scared and it’s making you attack one another. That, or you’re all going space mad, but hopefully you’re just scared,” Hunk added in a nervous attempt at levity. “I’m scared all the time! I can talk you through it.”

“Sorry, Hunk,” Keith stated caustically. “I guess I just don’t know how to be a coward.”

“Right! That’s what I’m saying—”

“Why don’t you just leave him alone, Keith?” Lance snapped, his chest heaving. “Just drift off by yourself, Mr. Lone Wolf.”

An unreadable expression played across Keith’s face, and then it hardened, his eyes steely and bright. “Fine,” he growled, and ignited his jetpack, turning to go, but Hunk lunged and grabbed him by the ankle, pulling him back.

“No, don’t!” he protested, and then grimaced as Keith tried to kick his leg out of his grip. “We have to stay together!”

“WHY, HUNK?” Keith shouted, his face livid. “Are we really even friends? Is there anything holding us together besides some messed up series of coincidences? I mean, what are we?” he asked, growing increasingly hysterical. “Some chosen saviors? Do you really believe that? WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING OUT HERE?”

Lance shook, his grip on Pidge unnecessarily tight. He couldn’t look at Keith anymore; couldn’t stand to hear his vitriol. It scalded him; burned him. He wanted to scream, to lash out again, to get away. Anything to keep from hearing it. As if reading his mind, Allura took his free hand, her face lined with worry and her diadem low.

“We’re doing what we have to,” Hunk answered, resolute.

“LET GO!” Keith demanded.

“No!” He tried to kick away again and then gasped as Hunk yanked him down with the full force of his strength. “LISTEN TO ME!” he bellowed. The Paladins froze, the intensity of the shout startling them into silence. Hunk rarely raised his voice—not like this. “You’ve gotta stop! All of you!”

“I know you’re scared,” Hunk plowed on, looking pointedly at Keith, “and I know you’re hurt,” he added, casting a meaningful glance at Lance, “but this isn’t helping anything. We are all we have out here. You said it yourself, Keith! _‘At least we have each other.’_ ” Keith faltered, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish’s, but Hunk continued, unfazed.

“You were right. At least we have that, so stop trying to tear it apart! It’s the last thing we have, guys. It’s the last thing we have....” Hunk trailed off, his face falling as he allowed his hand to fall from Keith’s ankle. Lance looked away, shame heating his insides and blurring his vision. He could hear a muffled sob from Pidge, who clung to his arm; a shuddering breath from Allura, who stared up at Keith with glistening eyes.

Keith swallowed, the sound audible even over the comms. “I know,” he said, his voice rough. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I shouldn’t have said those hurtful things. I didn’t mean it. I just—all of this—I don’t—” He broke off, biting his lip.

“I didn’t mean it either,” Allura ventured softly. “Yes, I wish you hadn’t left, but I understand why you did and haven’t been dissatisfied with your leadership since you returned. I’m sorry that I implied otherwise.”

Lance felt several gazes fall upon him. They made his face grow hot. “I—” he started, and then stopped, wincing at the tremor in his voice. He never should have said those words. Why had he said them? He cleared his throat and took a steadying breath. “I don’t actually want you to go,” he managed to say. _Ever. I never did, and maybe that’s the whole damn problem._

“That’s...good,” Keith began haltingly, “because I didn’t actually want to.” Lance chanced a glance at him. His face was etched with pain, his eyes wary and reddened. Renewed guilt twisted his gut. He shouldn’t have said it. He was supposed to understand, like Allura apparently did. He loathed that some part of him couldn’t seem to do it.

“I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely. Keith nodded, and then dropped his gaze. Lance felt his heart drop too. He wanted to say more—felt he needed to say more, but his thoughts were incorporeal wisps, sliding from his grasp. Even with the possibility they wouldn’t make it out of this alive, he couldn’t seem to find the words; couldn’t seem to figure out where their pieces lined up despite knowing, intrinsically, that they did.

In what way, Lance wasn’t sure, but he knew how he wanted them to fit; had known since he was fourteen years old and floundering as badly as he was now.

Lance didn’t have the words, but maybe he didn’t need them.

He ignited his jetpack amidst cries of alarm and flew right into Keith, throwing his arms around him and holding him tight. Keith gasped, his body rigid, statuesque. Lance tucked his head into his neck—as best he could with their helmets in the way.

“Just let me hug you,” he mumbled, closing his eyes, and then added in a desperate whisper, “please.”

Keith made a startled sound, and for a heart-crushing second Lance thought he’d push him away, but then he crumbled, and Keith’s arms rose to loosely encircle his waist. Even through their armor Lance could feel the pressure of the embrace; the warmth; Keith’s trembling fingers trailing across his back where his flight suit was exposed. Lance suppressed a shiver, his heart skidding like a dragonfly across the surface of a pond.

He’d told Lance he was scared of this— _them_. Lance realized he was too. Their pieces fit, but not easily. He feared they would break in the attempt. More than that, he feared that he would be the one to break them. Lance had always been too much. He would scare Keith away. He _did_ scare him, and he didn’t want to. Lance felt his eyes well up with tears. He just wanted them to work. He just wanted Keith, in whatever way he’d let him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, brokenly. Keith brushed his thumbs against Lance’s sides, a light and comforting caress. This time, he did shiver, his breath catching in his throat.

“I’m sorry too,” Keith whispered back. “You were only trying to help.” Lance hummed, distracted by his touch. It worked through him like a shot of liquor, hot and innervating.

“Uh, guys?” Pidge said. Lance spun away, face flushed, and then felt his stomach lurch when he caught sight of the frightened expressions on the other Paladins’ faces. He followed their widened eyes. The white light had returned, larger and brighter than ever.

“Is it more of those creatures?” he asked warily.

“No,” Allura said, her attention fixed on the expanding light. “It appears to be a single source. Almost like a planet....”

“That’s impossible,” Keith muttered, but even as he said it the light shivered and morphed into— “Wait, is that Earth?”

“No,” Hunk cut in, his brows pinched and a tick working in his jaw. “It isn’t. There’s no sun, no moon. It’s an illusion.”

“What?” Lance asked, confused.

“It’s an illusion!” he shouted, and then shot toward it, ignoring their startled protests. Hunk growled, and in a flash of golden yellow his bayard materialized in his hand, shifting seamlessly into his cannon blaster. He aimed it at the Earth before anyone could stop him and fired a lethal volley of lasers, every one of them striking true.

At first, nothing happened, and Lance feared Hunk had cracked and lost his senses, but then the planet dissipated, an immense ice-blue eye gleaming in its place. It shimmered briefly, and the creature it belonged to substantialized. Its eye alone was the size of a house, the beast itself incomprehensibly ginormous. It had a soft underbelly and antennae that glowed in the dark, the rest of it encased in a thick, cobalt-colored shell. Its pectoral fins stretched as far as they could see, but Lance could only stare at that massive eye in terror.

“What the quiznak is that thing?” he shouted.

“Hunk was right,” Pidge said, floating in a daze.

“Here it comes!” the Yellow Paladin warned. They scattered as the beast swooped forward, opening its titanic jaws to reveal a mouth like a lamprey’s—funnel-shaped and lined with concentric rows of jagged teeth. The Paladins barely managed to avoid being swallowed, careening into open space in opposite directions.

“Wait! Stop! We have to stick together!” Allura cried.

“She’s right,” Keith agreed. “We can’t do this alone.”

“We need our bayards!” Pidge said. “How did manifest yours, Hunk?”

“I don’t know,” he said, gripping his blaster closer as if afraid it would vanish. “I just knew that I needed to—that it was the only way to protect you guys!”

“That’s it then! We need to focus on our connection—on each other,” Keith asserted, looking out at each of them in turn. “This may have been one giant series of messed up coincidences, but they happened for a reason. They brought us together as Paladins, but most importantly, they brought us together as friends.”

“We love you too, Keith!” Pidge cried out, which made them all laugh, and then suddenly flashes of green, blue, pink, and red illuminated the darkness. Relief hit Lance in waves as his bayard appeared in his hand, quickly taking on the form of his laser rifle. The beast was doubling back, its bulk making it slow to turn, but able to gobble them up in a single mouthful if it could catch them.

“All right, team. We have to attack this thing with our bayards from every side possible. That way it can’t target us all at once!” Keith directed.

“Yeah!” they shouted in unison, and then neatly converged, flying at the approaching beast from every angle they could. Hunk rained a deluge of lasers across the creature’s back while Pidge launched her grappling hook at its face. The triangular blade lodged between two of its armored plates, the beast screeching in fury and pain. It ascended with a speed Lance hadn’t anticipated, dragging Pidge along with it until the line broke and she went spinning into—

“Oof!” Lance and Pidge spiraled away, shouting as they tumbled and struggled to slow. They managed to grab hold of each other’s forearms, using both their jetpacks to get stabilized again. “You okay?” Lance asked, searching her eyes.

“I’m good,” Pidge said with a quick nod. “You?”

“Yeah, just gotta watch out for rogue space pigeons!”

“Lance!” He laughed, and the two turned around, hurrying back to the others who continued to batter the circling beast.

“It’s toying with us!” Allura yelled, dodging one of its fins.

Lance shouldered his rifle, taking aim and firing several shots directly at its staring eye. It roared, changing direction and soaring toward him with its jaws opened wide. Lance blanched, but before he could react the Red Lion dove in front of him, firing a debilitating blow at the creature with its powerful mouth cannon.

“Holy shit!” Lance exclaimed with a breathless laugh. “Go, Red!”

The Yellow Lion soared in next, adding its rapid-fire lasers to the assault, followed by the Blue and Green Lions, the result a deadly spectacle of light. The Black Lion, admittedly a bit of a show off, activated the thrusters on each of its paws, placing itself directly before the colossal beast and emitting a thunderous roar. The creature shrieked, scurrying away like a ridiculously overgrown stingray.

“Yeah, you better run!” he said, and then stuck out his tongue for good measure.

“I think he might actually be running from that!” Pidge shouted, pointing. Lance spun and then let out a string of curses in Spanish that would have had a chancleta soaring toward his head. The lightning storm had returned.

“AGAIN?” Hunk yelled, exasperated.

“We know we can’t outrun it!” Allura cried.

Keith glanced at the Lions, and then looked back at them with a smirk that made Lance’s stomach flip. “This time, we’re not running.”

~*~

Keith leapt into the pilot seat of the Black Lion, his every nerve ablaze as the seat slid forward and locked into place. One more fight. One last obstacle. They needed to find their way out of the storm. Together. As it always should have been. He never should have tried to shoulder the weight on his own. Not when he had Pidge’s intelligence and support; Hunk’s kindness; Allura’s strength.

_Lance._

His heart hammered, thoughts buzzing in his skull. There was too much there to sift through right now, too much to disentangle. All he knew was that he had him too. He could feel his connection to the Red Paladin as strongly as he ever did. He wouldn’t if they were broken—the thread would be unstable, dysfunctional, but it had never felt more intact. It glowed within his very essence, brighter than them all.

He seized the Black Lion’s controls, noting her excitement, her determination, her power. She pulled up an image of Voltron in their minds, a smooth confidence accompanying the suggestion. They could do it this time. They knew that they could. Keith could feel the restored energy of the Lions humming in his veins like the bass line of a song.

He set his jaw, looking out at the other Lions awaiting his command.

“FORM VOLTRON!” he shouted. They didn’t question it; they could sense that they could do it too. They soared upward as one, and then Keith felt it, the shift, the transformation as the Black Lion tucked her legs into her body; as the others rotated and snapped into place. He couldn’t prevent the smile that spread across his face, couldn’t stop the relieved laugh that left his lips.

_Voltron._

They turned to face the storm, churning clouds of interstellar matter and cords of electricity cracking the ether. As before its energy gathered, coiling around its core and burning brighter and brighter. This time they flew toward it, charging into the pulsing heart. Galvanized streams of particles battered them as though they were palmettos in a hurricane. They were blasted back, pitched, and rolled, but still they fought, dashing and diving through the cataclysmic currents.

Keith startled as the Black Lion nudged his mind, the Red Lion unexpectedly purring low. He could feel Lance’s mirrored surprise resonating through the threads of their shared connection. A whirring noise sounded on his right, and Keith turned to see the Black Lion’s key console rising. It locked into place, purple lights blinking invitingly. Keith didn’t have to ask to know the same was happening to Lance. He could feel him on the other side; could sense the Red Lion’s key console flashing too. As one, they lifted their bayards and plugged them in, sparks flying as they sharply twisted their wrists.

Voltron’s wings illuminated, expanding outward as they quadrupled in size and manifested dozens of rocket boosters which shot them forward so quickly Keith was thrown back against his seat. He could hear the others struggling against the increased g-forces too, fighting to maintain their holds on the controls. Everything around them was one blurred stream of light, the brightness of it making Keith’s eyes begin to water. He shut them, clenching his jaw, willing Voltron through the storm, until suddenly they floated, Keith’s stomach swooping and a gasp pushing air into his lungs.

He tentatively opened his eyes. The storm was gone—nothing but clear, starry space stretching before them. It was luminous, welcoming, soothing.

“Hey, Kosmo’s back!” Lance abruptly exclaimed. “Hey, boy! Wait—no, no, no, AHHH!” A thud sounded over the comms, Lance’s laughter and shouts filling Keith’s heart with joy. “Stop!” he shouted. “My helmet doesn’t have windshield wipers!”

Keith chuckled, and Pidge’s voice soon joined in the fray as she cheerfully yelled, “Shiro!”

“Ugh, what happened?” came Romelle’s dazed voice from Blue. “Did something come to try to kill us?”

“You know it,” Lance deadpanned. Keith’s lips twitched, fighting back another smile. His heart felt so light it was as if it too had formed dazzling wings. He still needed to talk to him—to ask him what he’d meant when he’d snapped at Keith because that wasn’t the first time Lance had brought up him leaving—but he couldn’t help but feel happy anyway.

They were alive. They were safe. They'd made it.

“How did we do that anyway?” Lance asked, breaking Keith out of his reverie. “Form Voltron, I mean. I thought the Lions didn’t have enough power.”

“I actually have an idea on that,” Shiro spoke up. “It’s difficult to articulate, but remember when we were fighting Zarkon and we were hit with that beam that drained all of our quintessence?”

“Yes,” Allura chimed in. “You were all completely incapacitated!”

“That’s right,” Shiro said, and Keith could imagine him giving an encouraging nod, like a professor would to a student who’d gotten the answer correct. “But we managed to regenerate enough power to keep fighting.”

“Yeah,” Keith replied, remembering too. “We repowered Voltron ourselves.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, but _how_?” Lance interrupted, his voice pitching into a whine.

“Through the bond you have with one another,” Shiro answered. “You guys haven’t had much time working together to find your balance in this configuration, but whatever happened out there, it helped you find it. It brought you all together again.”

“Ohhhhhhhhh, and then we were able to recharge Voltron! Cool!” Lance declared, sounding so adorable that Keith wanted to hug him. “So, uh, where are we?”

He frowned, distracted from his recall of Lance’s surprising hug; of how well he’d fit in his arms; of the contented sounds he’d made when Keith attempted to soothe him. They’d said things they hadn’t meant, and though Keith sensed there was more to Lance’s words, he knew at least that he’d meant it when he’d said he didn’t want him to go. They had a lot to work on; there was still so much to say, but for the first time Keith felt confident that they could do it; that they could fix their damaged pieces and come out stronger than before. Even if Lance didn’t feel the same, they were worth the extra effort.

“It looks like that nebula carried us thousands of light years away,” Allura said. The mice chittered excitedly, likely looking at the Blue Lion’s screens from their perch upon her shoulders.

“Hang on a tick,” Coran began to say, when Pidge suddenly cut in and yelled, “I recognize these constellations! Guys! This is Earth’s solar system! It’s the Milky Way!”

 _What?_ Keith’s eyes flicked back to the window, and then slowly widened as he realized she was right.

“Home,” Hunk said reverently.

“We made it!” Lance exclaimed, his voice shaky as if he was having trouble believing it.

Shiro cleared his throat, oddly subdued as he added, “We’re finally here.”

Keith stared. The Milky Way stretched out before them, an iridescent bloom chasing the darkness away. He’d promised he would get them home; they’d made it here together. Keith tightened his grip on the Black Lion’s controls, blinking back tears of relief.

“Well,” he said with a broadening grin, “what are we waiting for?”

~*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *is lying face down in a ditch of coffee mugs* SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK!?!?
> 
> Man this was challenging to write. I think, at times, it may have even been too difficult for my writing level. I did my best though and can safely say that although I see places where I wanted it to be better, I’m at peace with what I’ve got. Maybe when I’m a better author someday I can smooth out the edges, but for now, this’ll do!
> 
> Also, woah guys, that marks the end of the 1st arc: The Journey! Now comes the 2nd arc: Earth! Lots of reworking to be done here because that part was primarily backstory and extended battle scenes. Honestly, I feel like the second half was one long fever dream that I’ll have to at least partly re-watch as I figure this out. I’ve already got some ideas though that I’m excited about!
> 
> Lastly, if you're wondering, Lance was singing Arrorró Mi Niño. Anyone know it? :) You can give it a listen [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08MGTBoiOdM). It’ll likely come up again!
> 
> As always, I can’t thank you enough for your patience and support. Whenever I feel discouraged I read your feedback again and it gives me the motivation to keep going! On that note, please don’t hesitate to comment! There was a heckuva lot here and I’m dying to know your thoughts!
> 
> Until next time ^^;


	11. Dive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW! I MADE IT BEFORE SEASON 8 DROPS. All I really have to say is, “Thank you.” Thank you for giving this story a chance, thank you for sticking with it, and thank you for all your support! No matter what happens on the 14th, my plan is to see this story through.
> 
> Also, as a note, this chapter has some Spanish. As I have before, I included the translations in the text to make it easier—not like, direct translations, but equivalent meanings since it makes more sense that way. On that note, if something doesn’t look right, feel free to correct me! I’m half-Puerto Rican, but admittedly learned most of my Spanish in school while my proofreader is a native speaker, but knows Mexican Spanish, not Cuban, so if anything seems off, please let me know.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this foray into the Earth arc! Happy reading—this chapter is the longest one yet! ^.^

Of all the galaxies the Paladins had ever visited, the Milky Way was by far the most beautiful. It sparkled like sun glitter on the surface of the sea; like the reflection of light off banks of freshly fallen snow. Lance gaped, his hands wrapped loosely around the Red Lion’s controls and his breath catching on its way to his lungs. The Red Lion purred low, not only revitalized, but also enjoying the Paladins’ improved spirits after much-needed showers, meals, and sleep. The delay to take care of themselves had been hotly debated, but Coran had put his foot down, using their ill-tempers (“You’re acting like a litter of cranky Yalmor pups!”) as further evidence that they needed to rest.

He’d been right, of course, and now they embarked on the final stretch of their journey rejuvenated and filled with an excitement that hummed through Lance’s soul. He bounced his leg as they passed Eris, a dwarf planet named after the Greek goddess of strife and discord. Its icy surface gleamed a pearlescent white, its moon, Dysnomia, orbiting not far away. Just beyond it Lance could see the iridescent dot that his star charts indicated was the Earth’s shining sun. His heart ached as he looked at it, as he leaned forward in his seat. He had feared for so long that they would never see it again, and here it was, a radiant speck against the backdrop of the universe.

Lance stretched out his leg and frowned when he heard something clatter by his foot. He pushed his chair back, sliding out of it and onto his hands and knees as he crawled beneath the Red Lion’s lighted panels. If some part had come loose, surely Red would have informed him? He looked around, pausing when the aqua lights on his helmet glinted off a small object in his peripheral vision.

_Oh._

He grabbed it and shimmied backward, stopping only when he bumped into the pilot’s seat. Lance climbed into it, the chair automatically sliding forward and locking into place with a high-pitched whir and click. He glanced out the Red Lion’s eyes and then looked down at his hand, fingers unfurling to reveal the Lilearian crystal on his palm. Its stormy surface was still somehow smooth, as if it hadn’t been tumbled like clothes in a dryer. It glittered as perfectly as when he’d first plucked it, Red’s garnet lights gleaming within its indigo depths.

_Keith._

Lance closed his fist around the crystal, his stomach churning with guilt. He shouldn’t have snapped. Their relationship had already been standing on thin ice. Even after their apologies, Lance feared he’d damaged what little stability they’d gained. He never should have snapped. Everyone seemed acceptant of the fact that Keith had left. Everyone, but him. The emptiness that had grown in Keith’s absence clung to him like a burr, its hooked teeth refusing to dislodge. He’d thought, lying beside Keith while shrouded in purple light, that it’d begun to loosen its hold, but now Lance felt it as strongly as ever.

He groaned, making a gesture as if to toss the crystal into the waste receptacle, but stopped at the last tick, his heart giving a frantic pulse. No matter how frustrating and painful it could be, he’d never been able to give Keith up. He’d thought he had about half a dozen times, but at the deepest heart of it, he never fucking could.

Keith was the sun-brightened moon and Lance was the ocean sighing into his pull. Nothing compared to how good it felt when their jagged pieces fell into place. He was happy to fall so long as it felt like that, but they were constantly jostled, bent, pushed, and broken. Falling was harder when there was nothing to catch you. Lance was tired of hitting the ground.

One of Red’s panels chirped and flashed, startling Lance and nearly sending the crystal flying from his grasp. He caught it between his fingers and hastily stowed it away, tucking it within the small utility pocket at his waist. His eyes flicked to the panel, which indicated an incoming private call from Hunk. Curious, Lance lifted his hand and pressed the button to accept it. A screen popped up on his left with a shrill bleep. Hunk’s familiar face appeared on the display.

“Hey man,” Lance greeted with as much cheer as he could muster. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” Hunk replied. He lifted one shoulder in an unconvincing casual shrug. “Just thought I’d check in and see how you’re doing. Things, you know, got pretty rough out there....”

Lance’s heart sunk, but he managed a tepid smile. “Yeah, uh, I’m good,” he said, casting his gaze out the window and then glancing back at the screen. “You really pulled through for us. I mean, if it weren’t for you, we’d be digesting in the stomach of a giant beast.”

“Dude, is it weird I can say I know exactly what that would be like?” Hunk asked with rounded eyes. “Because I’ve been in the belly of a weblum and know _exactly_ what that would be like.” Lance couldn’t help but laugh at that, his smile warming when his best friend laughed too. It dissipated some of the tension in his muscles, allowed him to relax the grip he had on Red’s controls.

“Anyway,” Hunk continued, his gaze sliding away, “I guess I meant more, you know, with you and Keith? That was kinda intense.”

Lance faltered, his fingers twitching on the sidesticks and his eyes flitting back to the starry ether before them. “Right, yeah, I’m okay,” he said, his voice a little higher-pitched than he’d have liked. He quickly cleared his throat. “We’re, um, okay.”

_I think._

They’d seemed okay. They’d apologized and even hugged, which was a definite first. Lance could still feel the ghost of Keith’s touch along his sides, across the small of his back. It’d been warm even through the layers of gloves and his flight suit. Lance imagined direct contact would incinerate him completely. He’d never wanted so badly to be burned.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

Lance flushed, focus snapping back to the screen. “Huh?”

“You know,” Hunk said, awkwardly tugging at the collar of his armor, “how much it bothered you when he left....”

Lance let out a huff. “None of us were exactly happy about it,” he countered.

“Well, yeah, but...it really got to you, didn’t it?” Hunk met his eyes and Lance hesitated, uncertain how to respond, but he was spared from having to when the Yellow Paladin continued, “I’d noticed you weren’t hanging out with us as much, or talking as much, but I kinda thought that was because of Allura and Lotor and that you just needed the space. And, yeah, I’m pretty sure that was part of it, but it wasn’t only that, was it? So, how come you never mentioned it?”

“I dunno,” Lance answered evasively, bouncing his leg again. “I guess I didn’t fully realize it either and—” The words halted on the tip of his tongue. He pressed his lips together and swallowed them down.

“And...?” Hunk prompted, tilting his head.

Lance sighed heavily. “I don’t know, man. I guess I thought you’d make fun of me.”

“What? Why would I make fun of you?”

“Uh, cause maybe you kind of did? You and Pidge both—about Allura,” he said, heat rising to his cheeks.

“When did we...?” Hunk mumbled to himself, his nose scrunched in confusion, and then looked up, brown eyes alight with realization. “ _Ohhhhhhh_ , that. We were joking!”

 “Yeah?” Lance asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I wasn’t laughing.”

Hunk’s mouth fell open and then he shut it, forehead creasing and a frown pulling at the corners of his lips. The crestfallen expression made Lance feel like shit. He shouldn’t have brought it up. It wasn’t even a big deal. He knew they’d only been playing around, but...it’d sucked. He’d felt like he couldn’t talk to anyone. Granted, he hadn’t tried, but stuff like that hadn’t exactly inspired confidence, especially when he’d struggled to put his feelings into words at all.

So, yeah, he’d spent his time alone playing video games or training for vargas on end. It’d been a welcomed distraction from watching Allura fall in love with Lotor; from agonizing over why nothing felt like it had before. Never mind that no amount of distraction could chase away the gray. Never mind that no one seemed to need him anymore. Never mind any of it, because Keith had needed to leave, and asking him to stay would have been a stupid, selfish plea.

“Hey, I’m really sorry,” Hunk said, wringing his hands. “I didn’t realize it hurt you. We were just, you know, trying to cheer you up by being silly, but clearly, we missed the mark. Like, badly.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbled. “Don’t worry about it.” An extended silence fell over them, during which Lance caught a glimpse of what might have been Neptune looming in the distance. With the Lions at their full capacity, light-years melted away as easily as miles.

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to talk about it now?”

“Talk about what?”

Hunk inhaled deeply. “Keith leaving...? Or, you know, Keith in general....”

Lance stilled, his heartrate elevating and his mouth going dry. “I uh—” He stopped, unsure what he felt comfortable saying; unsure how much Hunk already knew.

“It’s just, you know, you’ve got a lot of feelings toward the guy,” Hunk cautiously continued, his eyes downcast. “And, you know, I try not to push it because you get really weird about it and sometimes even mad, but...I think maybe you might want to consider the possibility that like, some of those feelings might not exactly be of the uh, strictly platonic sort. Maybe.”

The Red Paladin exhaled sharply, which Hunk must have interpreted as irritation because he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender and hastily added, “I’m not saying for sure! I’m just saying that it might be good to, you know, _re-evaluate_ a little. Just, you know, go through _all_ those feelings and—”

“Hunk!” Lance interrupted, his entire face aflame. “I know, okay? I—” He squeezed the controls and Red gave an unexpected comforting purr, the sound resonating warmly in his chest. He took a breath and quietly repeated, “I know. I like Keith.”

“Wait, what?” Hunk exclaimed, looking so genuinely surprised that Lance felt a surge of irritation. “Really? Wait, no, of course ‘really.’ Why would you joke about that? Sorry, it’s just— Every other time I’ve brought it up you like, _adamantly_ denied it, but—okay. Wow. So, yeah. You like Keith. Who’s...a guy. You like a guy....” His eyebrows raised pointedly.

Lance’s chest constricted. “You already know I like both,” he muttered.

“I mean, kind of? You’ve never really confirmed or denied it. Which is totally your choice, but it made it hard to be 100% sure....”

“Okay, well, I’m confirming it now,” he said, his heart making an ill-advised bid for escape. “Happy?”

“Actually, yeah,” Hunk admitted, his expression shifting to one of concern. “I don’t know why you try to hide that, buddy.”

Lance looked away, face warming anew. _It’s complicated_ , he thought. Hunk was his best friend, but he doubted he could understand. He doubted he could understand why it felt so different, to openly flirt with a guy compared to flirting with a girl. He doubted he could understand how it’d felt when the first guy Lance had ever expressed interest in called him a weirdo and promptly stopped being his friend. He doubted he could understand how it’d felt when his second attempt snapped at him that he wasn’t a—

Lance slunk down in his seat. It was easier to stick with girls, who may have laughed or rolled their eyes, but never reacted like _that_. And maybe that was cowardly, which made him want to talk about it even less. It was bad luck, really, when most people nowadays weren’t like that, but this knowledge alone had never been enough to soothe him.

Mostly, he tried to forget any of it happened. Just like he tried to forget how fucking horribly it’d backfired when fourteen-year-old Lance had finally gathered the courage to try again and talk to his mullet-headed crush. Guys were simply more intimidating to flirt with, and if he was a little wary too how people would react to him being bisexual well, that made perfect sense to him. No need to dwell on the reasons why.

But it didn’t bother Hunk. Of course, it wouldn’t. He’d already known that. Just....

“Is that why you always denied liking Keith?” Hunk asked delicately.

“Huh? Oh. Uh, no,” he said with a shake of his head. “I really _didn’t_ like him—or, at least, I didn’t think that I did...most of the time.” Lance loudly groaned, sinking further in his seat. “I don’t know, okay? It’s all really confusing, and honestly? I fucking wish that I didn’t. It’d be so much fucking easier because, you know, it’s not like he would ever like me back! I mean, why would he?” he asked, gesturing wildly. “He’s _Keith_ , and I’m just—"

“The best guy I know,” Hunk firmly interrupted. “Slow down.” Lance glanced at the screen, his eyebrows raising in surprise as he noted his usually light-hearted friend actually looked angry. His mouth was pressed in a thin line, brows low and a tick working in his jaw.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Hunk gave him a searching look, the tension gradually ebbing from his face. “No worries, man. It’s just...do you really think Keith thinks that little of you?”

“Well, y—” Lance started, but then faltered, nibbling his lower lip. He _had_ thought that, but Keith had told him otherwise, hadn’t he? He’d told him that he meant a lot to him; had called him thoughtful, smart, dependable, and so many other kind things that his throat tightened now recalling them. Keith had looked him in the eye and told him he thought _the universe_ needed him when sometimes he felt like no one needed him at all. “No,” he quietly corrected. Keith didn’t think that little of him.

“Then what’s wrong, buddy?” Hunk pressed, his tone laden with concern. Lance’s stomach squirmed. He hadn’t meant to make him worry, but he knew bottling everything up would do nothing to make him worry less. Lance folded his arms across his chest and averted his gaze.

“This never works out for me,” he said, feeling pathetic. “I never fall for someone and hear, ‘I like you too.’ It just...it doesn’t happen, and that’s fine because, you know, it is what is, but...I really want it to work out this time. I like him so much, Hunk. You have no idea! Like, I’m pretty sure I might even—” Lance snapped his mouth shut. That was too much. _He_ was too much. He didn’t want to scare Keith more than he already had.

But, then again, it wasn’t really _Lance_ that scared him, right? It was being close to people in general, and yet Keith was trying...for him.

Lance swallowed thickly and looked to the twinkling stars ahead. “Do you—” He hesitated, trying to sound casual despite the staccato rhythm of his heart. “Do you, uh, think he could like me back?”

Hunk was quiet for a moment and then hummed thoughtfully. “Do you?”

“What? Wait, I’m asking you!”

“I know, but other than maybe Shiro, no one knows Keith better than you do. So, what do you think?”

“Umm....” A thousand memories flitted through Lance’s mind, each one making his heart beat a little faster, making him grow a little warmer. The way Keith had smiled when Lance said they made a good team; his scandalized expression when Lance claimed that he’d forgotten; late night chats on the observation deck, Lance’s eyes on the stars and Keith’s eyes peering at him; Keith’s gasp when Lance grasped his shoulder and told him he respected the Black Lion’s choice, when he urged him to respect it too; his laughter; his support, his kind words; his countless blushes; his forehead pressing against his and Keith’s hands upon his waist.

“Maybe...?” he squeaked.

Hunk chuckled good-naturedly. “You’re red as a cherry tomato, buddy.”

“It’s the lighting!” Lance said indignantly, waving his hand around him. “You look like a mango!”

“Oh man, I love mangos.”

“Dude, cannibalism’s not cool.”

Hunk full out laughed, a hearty sound that had Lance forgetting about his embarrassment and bringing a smile to his face instead. The Yellow Paladin took off his helmet to wipe his eyes and then put it back on, breathing deep. “Okay then,” he said. “Clearly, this is a possibility, so hang in there, dude. Just because it hasn’t worked out yet, doesn’t mean it won’t work out ever. Just, you know, be careful.”

“Careful?” Lance asked, his smile faltering.

“Well, yeah,” Hunk said, rubbing the side of his neck. “I mean, don’t get me wrong—I think it’d be great if you two got together, but I also don’t want to see you get hurt again. And, you know, if I’m being real, I haven’t been the biggest fan of the way he’s been treating you lately....”

“Oh, no, it’s—it’s okay, Hunk! That is, we’re okay, not that—not that what he was doing was okay, but we talked about it!” he said, tripping on his words in his haste to explain. “We talked about it and he apologized and we’re good. I think. But if we’re not it’s my fault for dragging up the past. I need to get over it. To—to forget about it. To—”

“Talk to him more?” he suggested patiently. Lance’s face warmed some, but he nodded in agreement. “Okay, well...that’s good then. I’m glad you guys worked it out.”

“Me too. And, so you know, I’m already being careful. I don’t want to fuck this up. Like, I’d rather be friends with him and be in l—uh, have this, uh, stupid crush on him than wreck what we have.”

“Yyyyyyeah, I don’t think that’ll happen,” Hunk said slowly. “I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s crazy about you too.”

Lance nearly fell out of his chair. “WAIT, REALLY?” he screeched. “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT? HUNK! I NEED DETAILS!”

Hunk opened his mouth to answer, but before he could they were both startled by the sound of Pidge shouting excitedly over the shared comms, “YOU GUYS! I think I’ve finally got through to my dad! Hang on—”

Lance looked at Hunk and the two nodded before ending the call, the screen going dark. Static filled each of the Lions, a discordant crackle interrupted by shrill whistles and Sam Holt’s voice. Lance knitted his brows, struggling to make out what he was saying.

**_“To any beings who receive this message...”_ **

“Dad? Dad, it’s me! Pidge! How’s Mom and Matt? Is he with you?”

 ** _“Planet Earth has been....”_** Increased radio feedback briefly punctuated his sentences, drowning out some words and accentuating others. **“ _Most of the citizens...”_**

“L-let me try to get a clear signal,” Pidge stammered.

**_“...have been captured.”_ **

Lance’s heart thudded, a cold sweat beading on his skin. _Mamá, Pa, Marco, Lisa, Luis...._

“What? Who’s captured? Dad, what are you saying?!”

_Veronica, Rachel, Nadia, Sylvio...._

**_“Those of us remaining are making our last stand. If you get this message, please get word to Voltron. We need help.”_ **

Lance suppressed a dry heave as his stomach pitched. He put his head between his knees, begging the cabin to stop spinning. Several panels in his Lion lit up and chirruped.

“Guys, are you seeing this?” Keith asked, his voice hushed. Lance shut his eyes, forcing his lungs to draw in slow, even breaths. Fear, like flames of ice, burned through his chest.

**_“To any beings who receive this message...Planet Earth has been overrun by the Galra.”_ **

_No._

_Please, no._

The message repeated, an agonizing loop: **_“Most of the citizens have been captured...”_**

His nightmares. The flickering light, the shimmery air, the acrid scent of smoke.

**_“...those of us remaining are making our last stand...”_ **

A woman standing in the doorway of his childhood home, lines creasing her face and a sad smile curving her lips.

**_“...if you get this message, please get word to Voltron...”_ **

Familiar deep blue eyes staring right back at him.

**_“We need help.”_ **

The icy flames consumed him.

~*~

The sky was a sallow, stretching grey-blue, the air hazy and choked by thick plumes of dust. Shattered glass and crumbled concrete crunched beneath their feet. Keith adjusted the grip he had on his bayard sword, eyes sharp and searching as they canvased the skeleton of a once thriving city.

The ruins told a story; one that no one wanted to hear. A child’s shoe abandoned in the street; a smashed suitcase marred by tire tracks; streaks of dried blood on a pockmarked storefront; a car upended, the words “No Hope” graffitied on its side. Steel beams were stacked like pick-up sticks, a callous giant’s game. No signs of life existed. Not even roaches seemed to find the detritus worth scavenging.

Lance sucked in a breath, his footsteps trailing. Keith felt his heart clench and worried his lip. There was nothing he could say or do that would make this any better, but he wanted to so badly. He slowed his steps and touched the small of Lance’s back. The Red Paladin glanced at him, deep blue eyes questioning and a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“Stay close to me,” Keith said. He tried to convey everything he was feeling into those words, into the look he returned: _I’m here for you. I need you here too. I can’t do this alone._ Lance nodded and tucked his laser rifle more securely against his chest.

He’d been uncharacteristically quiet since they’d heard Earth’s distress call. They all had been. Not even finally reaching Pidge’s father had lifted their spirits as he’d informed them Sendak had taken over the planet and that if he discovered Voltron was there, he’d threaten the people of Earth in exchange for it.

On Pidge’s suggestion, they’d left the Lions on a moon in Saturn’s rings, which would keep them safely hidden from Sendak’s omnipresent radars. A minor altercation with a Galra patrol, ensured they would have a ship to take them the rest of the way.

It’d been a rough landing, the fighter too overweight to make a steady descent through Earth’s atmosphere. They’d crashed in what they’d believed to be the heart of the Sonoran Desert, as barren as it was, but after cresting a hill they’d discovered they were on the outskirts of what remained of Plaht City, a once popular road stop half an hour’s journey from the Galaxy Garrison.

They traipsed over felled power lines and circumvented streets blocked by cars wrecked in chain collision accidents. Kosmo pawed at a garbage bag stuffed with clothing. It laid gutted in a storm drain, its contents damp and muddied. A picture frame fell out of it and cracked on the pavement. Keith moved to direct his wolf away from it, but froze when he heard a strange whirring from above.

He barely had time to react before an adjacent building exploded into flames, Lance shouting, “Take cover!” and grabbing his wrist. He pulled Keith under a flipped car, the others already scattering as they took shelter behind piles of rubble and the shells of damaged buildings.

Keith’s ears rang as he craned his neck to see what was shooting at them. Spherical drones soared over the streets, assailing them with lasers that devastated everything they hit. Hunk darted out from behind a slab of concrete, firing a volley of return shots from his bayard blaster cannon. The drones converged on him, forcing him to withdraw. It gave Keith a reckless idea.

He turned to Lance, his heart knocking against his ribs. “I’ll distract it,” he said, “you take the shot.” Lance scowled, his mouth opening in protest, but then he clamped it shut, his brows low as he nodded. Worry lingered in his eyes, so Keith playfully added, “Don’t miss.”

Lance briefly smirked, and the Black Paladin took that moment to rush out from under the car, vaulting over another abandoned vehicle and into open space. He ran, not daring to look back. The drones whizzed overhead, sharply changing direction to pursue him. He could hear the lasers as they struck the ground, chunks of concrete blasted into smithereens. One by one Lance shot them out of the air, the drones exploding and falling in a rain of charred debris.

The coast was clear. Keith stopped, panting slightly as he doubled back to examine the smoking remains of one. The drone reminded him of the Galra robot Pidge had reprogrammed to help them before it was hacked and sent to destroy the Castle of Lion’s crystal. The only visible difference was its shape.

“Pidge,” he said as she jogged up beside him, “any chance you can track these things and see if more are coming?”

“Already on it.” Pidge tapped the screen projected by her armor gauntlet, a shadow passing over her face as she studied the image. “Looks like we’ve got four more headed our way.”

As if on cue a laser shot over their heads, hitting a support column and sending shards of concrete flying into the air. The Paladins shouted and dove for the first hiding places they could find.

“It’s not drones this time!” Shiro announced from under a leaning pillar. “Look!”

Keith peered out from the lone standing wall he’d ducked behind, his expression darkening as he took in the sight of four Galra sentries. Lance and Hunk were already on it, working in tandem to shoot them down and using a busted sedan as cover.

“Watch out!” Allura yelled, pointing over Shiro’s shoulder.

Two armored Garrison vehicles sped down the street, barreling over one of the sentries and then slamming the brakes as they skidded to a halt. Their drivers hopped out of them like a SWAT team, utilizing their laser guns to take out the remaining enemies. It was all unnecessarily dramatic.

“We had it,” Keith grumbled.

The nearest officer clenched his jaw, eyes narrowed as he leveled a glare in his direction. “Drones send distress signals when they’re attacked,” he growled. “Our weapons neutralize those signals. So, unless you want to deal with a swarm of those things, let us handle it!”

“Good to see you too, Griffin,” Lance said with a lilt of amusement, shifting his weight to one hip. “I see you haven’t changed a bit.” Keith blinked. Griffin? As in, James Griffin? No wonder he instantly hadn’t liked him.

James scowled. A lock of brown hair fell into his eyes, which he couldn’t move because of his full-face helmet. “We’ll talk once we’re safe,” he bit out. “Now let’s go before more show up!”

“I’m Rizavi, by the way,” the female officer said with a wink, holstering her gun. “Let’s roll!

They split into two groups, Allura, Coran, Hunk, and Romelle riding with Griffin while Keith, Lance, Shiro, Pidge, and Kosmo rode with Rizavi. She had light-brown skin and golden eyes which peered curiously at them from behind round, wire-rim glasses. Not unlike Lance, she seemed to vibrate with energy, bouncing into the driver’s seat and taking off at such a speed that they were slammed back against their seats.

He half-expected her to let out an exhilarated whoop, but her expression was serious as they made their way to the Garrison, her eyes scanning both the road and the skies as she kept a lookout for any approaching enemies. When it became apparent they were in the clear, they took off their helmets and placed them on their laps.

Lance was seated on his left, quietly gazing out the window as they drove past miles of cracked earth and rock. Kosmo laid at their feet, his ears low and his head resting on one of his paws. Pidge pulled her knees up to her chest in the passenger seat, hugging them close as she stared ahead. Shiro, meanwhile, sat on his right, drumming his fingers against his thigh. It was an anxious tick Keith wasn’t used to seeing from him. He lightly nudged Shiro’s arm and Shiro glanced at him, expression guarded, but his gray eyes curious.

“You alright?” Keith asked.

Shiro frowned, a crease forming between his brows. “It’s just...been a while,” he replied. It really had been, but Keith could still vividly remember the events leading up to their unexpected flight from Earth.

“The last time we were here I freed you from a hospital gurney.”

 “Ah, bah-bah-bah-bah!” Lance interjected, lifting his hand and snapping it closed like a mouth. “ _We_ freed him,” he corrected, and then turned back to the window as if he’d said nothing at all. Keith made a face, torn between a smile and a scowl, though he furrowed his brows when he noticed Shiro’s frown had become more pronounced. He bit his lip, realizing what was likely on his mind.

“Adam?” he tentatively asked.

Shiro looked down at his lap. “We broke up years ago,” he muttered. “He’s probably moved on.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Pidge said in a sing-song voice, twisting in her seat to look at them. “People can stay in love even when one of them has been off journeying through the deepest reaches of space for a year...or two,” she finished with a mischievous smirk. Keith choked on his spit, resulting in an embarrassing coughing fit which unfortunately drew the entirety of Lance’s attention.

“Woah there, you okay?” he asked, placing a hand on Keith’s wrist. Pidge let out a small gasp, which Keith firmly ignored, his face now matching the red of his armor.

“Yeah,” he croaked, eyes watering a little. Pidge snickered and turned back around in her seat. The engine rumbled as they climbed a rocky dune, tires bouncing on the uneven terrain.

Shiro sighed and mumbled so quietly he didn’t anyone else had heard, “It’d be better if he moved on.”

 _No, it wouldn’t_.

Keith remembered all too well the pain he’d felt when he’d returned and seen Lance and Allura hugging on the bridge of the Castle-ship. Then again, he didn’t know much about the circumstances that led to the dissolution of their relationship; didn’t know much about the reasoning behind Shiro’s words. He pursed his lips, considering.

“Maybe,” he relented in a whisper, “but it wouldn’t hurt much more to check. Why live with uncertainty when the chance to see for yourself might be right in front of you?”

The corner of Shiro’s mouth twitched. “Are you feeding me my own advice?” he asked with a half-smile.

Keith flushed. “It was good advice,” he grumbled.

“So, take it,” Shiro murmured, and lifted his chin in the direction of Lance’s hand, which was still resting on Keith’s forearm despite the brunet’s attention having already returned to the fallow land beyond the window.

Keith’s blush deepened, his heart tripping on its beats. How had he not noticed that? Shiro smiled and looked away, leaving him sitting stock-still and agonizing over whether Lance had meant to leave it there. Maybe he hadn’t realized. Keith certainly hadn’t, though now that Shiro had pointed it out it was all he could think of, his mouth growing dry and his palms clammy in his gloves. What would happen if he moved? What would happen if he...if he—

They drove over a pothole, the impact jostling them all. Before he could second guess himself, Keith quickly turned his wrist and slid his hand into his. Lance startled, glancing down. The Black Paladin shut his eyes, seconds away from snatching his hand back and playing it off as a wild accident, but then Lance’s long fingers loosely intertwined with his. Keith’s breath hitched, his heartbeat stuttering. He slowly opened his eyes and peered over at him.

Lance was facing away, head leaning against the window, but his ears were tinged with red. Warmth spread throughout Keith’s body, particularly noticeable where their hands were joined. He hated to get his hopes up, but it was difficult not to when Lance hadn’t pulled away; when he’d even been the one to lace their fingers in the first place.

He wondered what Lance’s hand would feel like without their gloves. Soft, probably. Warm. He looked determinedly ahead, practically glowering in the effort to not look like a love-addled fool. Shiro made an amused sound, but fortunately didn’t say anything as Keith would have had to punch him in the throat.

“Oh, wow!” Pidge exclaimed, releasing her legs and staring with her mouth agape. For an irrational tick Keith thought she was talking about their hands even though she wasn’t looking at them, but then he saw it too, the massive orange particle barrier forming a protective dome over the entirety of the Garrison and its grounds. “Guess my dad got the Altean tech to work!”

“Some of it, yeah,” Rizavi chimed in, her former tension ebbing now that they’d safely made it. “We probably wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t—that barrier is why we were the only location able to resist the Galra when they attacked Earth. As you saw for yourselves, nothing outside it is safe, but more on that later. We’re just about there.”

They entered the force field through a dual-set of heavy, mechanical doors, the metal groaning as they slid open to grant them access. The doors slammed shut behind them, the sound of locks sliding back into place reverberating in the tunnel they sped through. It opened out onto a road leading to the heart of the Garrison, which had undergone a number of structural changes, some of the buildings barely recognizable anymore. Keith glimpsed a large group of people standing in the courtyard waiting.

Pidge scrambled to the edge of her seat, hands pressed against the dashboard as she frantically scanned the faces in the crowd. Her brows knitted, amber eyes gleaming, when she suddenly gasped, a broad smile lighting up her face.

“I see my dad!” she exclaimed. “And—oh my god, my mom! I see my mom!”

Shiro tensed, fingers curling in on his knee. Lance leaned forward, eyes searching too as he tightly squeezed Keith’s hand. Keith squeezed his in return, a nervous plea forming on the surface of his tongue.

 _Please let them be there too,_ he thought.

_Let everyone be there and safe._

~*~

The military vehicles rolled to a stop, rumbling engines cutting off and the mechanical doors sliding open with a hiss. A middle-aged woman with short, ash blonde hair was running toward them, her cheeks wet with tears and the hem of her blouse wrinkled from where she’d wrung it in worry.

“Katie!” she yelled.

“Mom!” Pidge vaulted from the car and into her mother’s arms, limbs tangling around her like a baby koala. They sank to the ground, clinging to one another as they broke down into sobs of relief.

“Oh, Katie,” her mom said through a watery laugh, “I’m so glad you’re home!” Pidge gave a tearful laugh in turn and buried her face in her mother’s neck. Pidge’s dad knelt to hug them too, having hurried after his wife with the family dog on his heels. The bull terrier wagged his tail as he jumped up to lick their faces.

Lance couldn’t help but smile at the sight, his throat constricting, but his heart warm. His eyes swept over the crowd again, finding more familiar faces, but none the ones he sought. He felt his chest begin to tighten. What if...what if they hadn’t made it? What if....

Shiro stepped down from the vehicle and moved to greet Commander Iverson, who stood waiting for him at parade rest, his expression serious. Keith released Lance’s hand to follow, but he did so slowly, thumb brushing across his knuckles before they parted completely. It distracted Lance from his rising despair, made his heart skip and his face feel hot. He almost wanted to grab it again, if only for the comfort, but there were so many people around and he wasn’t sure what it’d meant.

He knew what he wanted it to mean, but even knowing Hunk’s belief that Keith was crazy about him, it seemed too good to be true. This never worked out for him. Why would it be any different this time? Maybe Keith only meant it to be reassuring; maybe he hadn’t pulled away because he hadn’t wanted to seem rude. Or maybe.... He bit his lip. _Maybe._

Kosmo jumped out of the car after Keith, Lance the last to exit. His eyes automatically scanned the crowd again. He could see Romelle, Hunk, Coran, and Allura gathered by the other vehicle, Romelle with a comforting hand on Hunk’s shoulder as he anxiously searched too. Kosmo growled, and Lance turned to see him bristling at the sight of Pidge’s dog. Keith bent to soothe him, scratching the cosmic wolf behind the ear.

“Lance!”

He whirled, heart slamming against his ribs. He knew that voice. He knew it playfully chasing him down a long stretch of beach. He knew it staying up late and helping him with his homework. He knew it urging him on whenever he felt like giving up.

_Veronica._

He saw her, standing on the fringes of the crowd in her Garrison uniform, and next to her— A startled laugh pushed past his lips, hot tears escaping his eyes. They were there; there were all there, with smiling faces and shining eyes. His mother beamed at him, and he covered his mouth, holding back an unbidden sob.

“Tío Lance!” His niece and nephew made the first move, little arms and legs pumping as they started running toward him.

“Hey!” he shouted, and rushed to meet them, vision blurring and the first sob wrenched from his throat. Lance slid to his knees as the twins leapt, the two wrapping their arms around his neck and hugging him tight. Veronica flew in next, falling beside them and throwing her arms around them too. Marco followed, and then Luis and his wife, Lisa, who ruffled Lance’s hair and squeezed in close. His parents joined them last, arms enveloping them all. Lance couldn’t stop crying, his entire body shaking as he held the twins, as his family rained kisses on his cheeks, smoothed his hair, hugged him as though they feared he might disappear again.

“Mi hijo,” his mother cried. _My son._ They shuffled to let her in, the twins sliding to either side of him, and Lance threw himself at her, hiding his face in her fluffy curls as her warm arms enfolded him. The familiar scent of her perfume—hibiscus—sent him into a renewed wave of tears, his shoulders trembling and his fingers tangling in the back of her shirt.

“Estamos muy orgullosos de ti,” his father murmured, pressing a kiss into his hair. _We’re so proud of you._

Veronica lifted her glasses as she reached beneath them to wipe her eyes. “Siempre creímos en ti,” she added softly. _We never gave up on you._

“Los extrañé mucho,” Lance whispered, pulling back. _I missed you guys so much._

They formed a circle around him. He drank in their faces, unable to look at them enough. Their smiles and laughter lifted a weight from his heart that had been there for so long he’d forgotten that it was never meant to feel this way.

Mamá cupped his face in her hands and swept her thumbs across his cheeks, drying fresh tears. “Tranquilo, mi cielito. Estás en casa,” she soothed. _Relax, my dear. You’re home_. Lance managed a smile, and his mother smiled back. Her deep blue eyes were overly bright. They both laughed when a tear fell down her cheek too.

“¿Y mis abuelos?” he asked, realizing he hadn’t seen them. _And my grandparents?_

“Están adentro,” Mamá replied. _They’re inside._ She sat back on her heels, and the twins converged again, breathless with excitement.

“¡Vaya!” Lance exclaimed with a grin. “Ambos están muchos más grandes. ¿Seguros que de verdad son Nadia y Sylvio?” _Gosh, you two are so much bigger now! Are you sure you’re the real Nadia and Sylvio?_

“¡Sí!” Sylvio said with a laugh, while Nadia scrunched up her nose and answered, “¡Claro que sí!” _Of course!_

Lance smiled mischievously. “Pues, los verdaderos Nadia y Sylvio eran muy cosquillosos....” he sang, lifting his hands and wiggling his fingers. _Well, the real Nadia and Sylvio were really ticklish...._

Nadia and Sylvio’s eyes widened simultaneously and they made a bid to run, but Lance scooped them up before they could get away, the twins shrieking with laughter as he tickled them both.

“¡De verdad, sí son Nadia y Sylvio!” Lance cried triumphantly. _You are the real Nadia and Sylvio!_ He let them go, and the two spun to face him with their hands on their hips.

“¡Eso es lo que dijimos!” they yelled indignantly. _That’s what we said!_

The entire family burst into laughter, Lance cracking up the hardest and then screaming when Nadia and Sylvio tackled him and started tickling him back.

“No! Betrayal! MUTINY!” he shouted over their giggles and his own uncontrollable laughs. The rest of his family was still laughing, but they soon began to quiet, the circle around him opening and even the twins stopping in puzzlement. They glanced up and Nadia promptly darted behind him, Sylvio holding onto his arm, uncertain. Lance looked up too and felt a blush creep over his cheeks.

_Keith._

He was standing somewhat awkwardly, shoulders hunched and looking down as his dark bangs fell into his eyes. Kosmo sat beside him, snout pushing into his palm. “I’m—” Keith cleared his throat and lifted his chin. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said, looking around at Lance’s family and then glancing down at him. “They’ve called us in for meeting.”

“That’ll be the debriefing—I’ll be there too,” Veronica affirmed with a nod.

“Oh,” Lance said, blinking in surprise. “Okay, no problem.” He carefully dislodged the twins and hopped to his feet, his eyes finding Keith’s and offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile before looking back at his family again. “This is Keith,” he introduced, his stomach unexpectedly squirming. “He’s the leader of Voltron and, um, a good friend of mine.”

“Keith, this is Rachel,” Lance continued, gesturing to his curly-haired sister on his left. “Veronica—” he nodded to his right and then stepped aside “—Luis and his wife, Lisa...their kids, Nadia and Sylvio.” He stepped to the other side. “That’s Marco, in the back there with the shaggy hair, and that’s—” he slightly turned “—my mom and dad.”

Keith lifted his hand and gave them a small wave, causing Lance to have to duck his head because it was far too adorable and he couldn’t trust his expression. His family smiled at Keith and took it in turns to shake his hand, mentioning how they’d seen him on television and how glad they were that Voltron was here—not only because it meant Lance was home, but also because of the hope they brought with them. Rachel and Lisa greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, while Mamá not only did this, but also brought him into a hug. Lance suppressed another smile when he noticed Keith’s face had turned a bright shade of red.

“Thank you for bringing my son home to me,” Mamá murmured.

“I couldn’t have done it without him,” Keith said quietly. Lance flushed, not having expected this response. He resisted the urge to cover his face with his hands, instead reaching up under the guise of scratching his head. He felt, rather than saw, Rachel’s curious gaze.

_Shit._

Mamá pulled away, and the twins scurried up to Keith, Nadia with her hands behind her back and Sylvio standing hopefully beside her as they looked up at him.

“Could we please pet your dog?” Nadia asked clearly and politely.

“Oh, uh, he’s actually a wolf—” the twins took a huge step back “—but he acts like a dog! You guys can pet him. Just be careful.” Keith paused, and then his eyes snapped open wide. “Not because he’s a wolf!” he hastened to clarify, waving his hands. “But because he’s kind of...drooly.”

Lance abandoned his attempts at trying not to smile, a grin spreading across his face and a laugh bubbling up from his throat. The twins regarded him skeptically, which only made him laugh more, but he managed an encouraging nod. “Go on. Kosmo’s great, I promise.”

Nadia and Sylvio took a timid step forward and Kosmo laid down, hindlegs tucked beneath him and his forelegs positioned in front of him. Lance knelt and lightly scratched the base of Kosmo’s neck, showing that it was safe. The twins giggled when Kosmo began wagging his tail.

“See?” Lance said with another smile. Successfully convinced, the two mirrored his movements, kneeling and then reaching out to scratch Kosmo’s neck too.

“Good doggy,” Sylvio cooed.

“Good wolfy,” Nadia corrected. She patted Kosmo’s head, and then her brows knitted, lips curving into a frown. “Do you guys have to go now?”

Lance opened his mouth to reply, but to his bewilderment, Keith got down on one knee and beat him to it. “We do,” he said, “but I’ll tell you what...they’re probably not going to let Kosmo into the meeting with us, so maybe you two could watch him while we’re gone?”

Nadia and Sylvio’s eyes grew round, their mouths agape as they quickly looked back at their parents. Luis and Lisa exchanged hesitant glances, a silent conversation playing between them. Lisa inclined her head slightly, and Luis smiled before they turned back to the twins and nodded.

“Alright!” Sylvio enthused, scratching Kosmo’s ear. “We’ll take good care of him!”

“I know,” Keith said with a smile of his own. “I can tell.”

The twins beamed at that and leaned forward to hug Kosmo, who seemed delighted by the attention, wagging his tail and pushing his head into them for more pets. Lance, meanwhile, was surprised he hadn’t melted, his chest so warm and overflowing with affection that it was a wonder he hadn’t grabbed Keith and kissed him on the spot.

The thought made his face burn, made his heart beat erratically. His family didn’t know—didn’t know that he was into guys too. Not that they’d react badly, he was pretty sure, almost 100% certain, but.... His stomach churned. What if, for some reason, they did react badly? What if they also thought it was weird? What if it made them look at him differently? What if—

Lance jumped when he felt fingers lightly touch his, and then flushed horribly when he realized it was Keith, who was now giving him a questioning look, one eyebrow raised.

“You ready to go?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Lance said, hopping to his feet. He rushed to give his family parting hugs and kisses before setting off with Keith, purposefully leaving space between them. His heart was beating so fast.

Keith didn’t say anything at first, but kept glancing over at him, concerned. “Did I do something wrong?” he finally asked, his tone wary.

“No.”

They continued to walk, and then Keith broke the silence again by saying, “They’re really nice...your family.”

Lance’s expression softened. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “They’re the best.” So why was he worried? He drew a steadying breath and then added, “They seemed to like you. And—and you were good with the twins. That was nice of you, leaving Kosmo with them.” They both knew the cosmic wolf was plenty self-sufficient.

Keith hummed, looking up at the orange particle barrier blocking the sky. “I just hope he doesn’t teleport them to another galaxy.”

“WHAT?” Lance squawked, shooting him an incredulous look.

The corner of Keith’s mouth quirked up in a smirk, his indigo eyes glinting as he peeked sideways at him. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh,” he said, and felt a smile rise to his lips. “Idiot.”

Keith chuckled, a low sound that had heat pooling into Lance’s stomach. “Come on. They want us to change into uniform first.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Of course they do.”

Another smile graced Keith’s face, but it faded as they reached the doors. Lance knew the feeling. It settled on his shoulders, pressed against his chest. This fight was never supposed to reach Earth. They should have been safe. If Voltron hadn’t battled in the quintessence realm; hadn’t torn rips through reality; hadn’t disappeared for three fucking deca-phoebs, maybe it would have been.

It wasn’t their fault, and it was entirely their fault.

It now fell to them to fix it.

 

*

The meeting was long, the majority of it devoted to catching the Paladins up on everything that had occurred prior to their arrival. As Rizavi had told them on the car ride over, it was largely thanks to the particle barrier that the Garrison had remained standing. Not even the best of their weaponry, the best of their pilots, had been able to keep the Galra at bay. Sendak and his forces had eliminated the first wave of Garrison Fighters as easily as if they’d been pebbles thrown at a tank. Every one of them had fallen, none believed to have survived until they sifted through the wreckage. A single pilot out of dozens of highly trained individuals, with injuries so severe he hadn’t been expected to make it through the night.

Medically retired, Adam Woods now directed the Education Program, which had been expanded to provide services to the children of refugees too as their schooling had been severely disrupted by the war. It was one of many ongoing operations at the Galaxy Garrison, but they all suffered from the same debilitating limitation: a dwindling stock of supplies.

Resources were at an alarming low. They had only months, if that, before they ran out altogether, and then they too would fall—the same as every other pocket of resistance that had been discovered and systematically wiped out. Earth’s offensive capabilities simply stood no chance against the Galra. It was for these reasons they’d ceased rescue efforts to bring in more refugees. It was for these reasons that Hunk’s family wasn’t here, as well as countless others imprisoned in work camps or worse.

The debriefing had grown heated at that point, frustration raising voices and flaring tempers, until Allura stepped in and redirected the conversation to what could be done, rather than what couldn’t. Talk shifted to the progress made in integrating Altean tech with Earth weaponry, and another meeting was set for tomorrow morning to examine what Commander Holt had enthusiastically named the Mecha-Flex-Exo fighters, or MFEs, as well as a supposed replacement for the Castle of Lions he referred to as the IGF-Atlas. For now, they were to rest, the Garrison shutting down all unnecessary power consumption in the evenings to conserve energy needed to sustain the particle barrier.

Shiro was the first to leave, face abnormally pallid and sweat beading on his forehead as he likely went in search of Adam, followed by Hunk, who stormed out with his jaw clenched and his brows knitted. Lance left to go after him, but he’d barely made it out the door before fingers enclosed on his wrist. He turned, confused, and then felt his heart skitter when he came face-to-face with Keith’s big, pretty eyes.

“Wha—”

“I’ll talk to him.”

Lance opened his mouth to protest, but upon seeing the meaningful look on Keith’s face faltered and closed it. Maybe that would be best. Words of comfort would sound hollow coming from someone who had all their closest family members here. Something akin to guilt slithered into his stomach. It wasn’t right that Hunk’s family wasn’t here too. If they’d had prior warning; if they’d had an “in” as his family had in the form of Veronica.... But there was no use focusing on what was already done. All they could do was focus on how to change it.

“Lance?”

He blinked, eyes flickering back to Keith’s. The Black Paladin was still looking at him, still grasping his wrist. Some vague part of him registered that his fingers were rough and that he liked it; wanted to feel them on more of his skin. Lance wondered if Keith could feel his quickening pulse.

“Yeah?”

“Will you meet me on the roof tonight? At 11?” Keith asked.

“On the....” Lance hesitated, slow to process his words. There was too much on his mind right now—the water level rising too fast to keep afloat. Keith moved them aside as more people trickled out of the room. He let go of Lance’s wrist. “Uh...sure,” he said, and then managed a bit of a lopsided smile. “I’m not in trouble, am I?”

Keith looked down, bangs falling into his eyes again as he shook his head. “No, I just thought...that we should talk.”

 _Oh._ That sounded ominous, but Lance nodded anyway, figuring it was important if Keith had asked. “Okay. I’ll um, see you then.”

“Yeah. See you.”

Keith walked off, presumably in search of Hunk, and Lance stood for a moment, wondering what he wanted to talk about. It hadn’t sounded bad per se, but it hadn’t exactly sounded good either. Lance pulled at his collar, no longer used to the stiff fabric of the Garrison uniform.

“Oh, good! You hadn’t gone far yet!” Lance turned again, and then smiled when he saw Veronica standing outside the door. She stepped to the side with him, leaving the exit clear.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey.” Veronica smiled, but it was short-lived, her mouth thinning as she met his eyes. “I know you wish that we had more—that we could do more,” she said. “I wish it too.”

“We’ll figure it out, Vero. We always do.”

A small smile returned to his sister’s face. “I believe it.”

Allura, Romelle, and Coran exited the room then, which was perfectly fine, except Allura took a sharp left without looking and crashed right into him. Lance reeled back a step, his hands flying up as she stumbled against them. She hurriedly straightened, lips parting, and her aquamarine eyes wide as she reached up to cover her mouth.

“Lance!” she cried, cheeks tinted cinnabar. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there! Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he quickly said, his face also warming as he noticed Veronica staring. “No worries.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, I’m good!”

Allura gave him a once over, as if expecting to find some hidden injury, but when she found none, she nodded, still looking rather flustered. “Sorry,” she said again.

“It’s okay.” Lance offered a smile to reassure her, and a smile gradually rose to her lips too.

“Alright, I’ll just—” She pointed behind him.

“Right.” He stepped to the side, Veronica stepped back too, and the three walked passed them without further incident. As soon as they rounded the corner though, Veronica shot him a devious smirk.

“Ooh la la,” she crooned.

“What?”

Veronica lowered her eyes and looked up at him through her lashes, “I’m so sorry,” she said in an exaggerated equivalent of what he assumed was Allura’s accent, “I didn’t see you there! Are you alright?”

Lance’s breath left him in a rush, his face hot and his ribs feeling three sizes too small. She had it _so_ wrong. “That wasn’t—"

“Suuuuuure it wasn’t,” Veronica said with a knowing wink. She threw her arm around his shoulders and led him down the hall. “Now come say hi to Abuelo y Abuelita. Nos están esperando en la cafeteria.” _They’re waiting for us in the cafeteria._

He shut his mouth, let the words fall apart as he dutifully nodded. There were too many things on his mind. Too many goddamn things. The water level wasn’t rising—he was being pulled beneath it.

~*~

Keith didn’t know what he was doing. It seemed to extend to every aspect of his being, giving him the impression that at some point in his life he’d been mistaken for someone else—someone knowledgeable and capable, who everyone turned to for direction—and now he’d played the part for so long he could no longer reveal the truth. Instead, he had to keep pretending, and hope against hope that he was never discovered.

He’d tried his best with Hunk. He’d figured that he should be the one to talk to him and he’d tried his best. It didn’t feel like it’d been enough. It didn’t feel like anything other than bringing his family back safe would’ve been enough, but Hunk had thanked him anyway. Keith was now certain he’d been hugged more today than he had in his entire life, which said something he didn’t want to think about too much. Just as he hadn’t thought too much about the fact that he couldn’t remember ever being kissed on the cheek, and Lance’s family had given those as freely as their smiles. It was no wonder Lance had missed them so—missed being surrounded by that unconditional love.

He glanced up at a clock hanging on the hallway as he walked. Twenty minutes until he needed to meet with him. Keith didn’t know what he was doing there either. All he knew was that they needed to talk about what happened when they were stranded in space and there was never going to a better time to do it because nothing was more important than defeating Sendak and liberating Earth. Everything else had to be addressed in stolen moments, like late at night, on a rooftop, when the Garrison was asleep. Keith wanted his every stolen moment to be with Lance.

His footsteps slowed as he came across a teacher break room. The room itself was nondescript, with several large windows, a vending machine, a sink, a refrigerator, a microwave, and four tables surrounded by spindly chairs, but Shiro was there, sitting alone, his head bowed, and his hand curled around a steaming mug of tea. Keith looked for the door, intending to check on him, but froze when he heard a steady thump and a step.

A man was approaching from the other side—tall, lean, with light brown skin and hair. He had a long, sharp jaw, all the more defined by a scar on the left side of his face which ran along its length. Half-frame, cat eyes glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. Keith stifled a gasp and ducked, hiding beneath a window. He snuck forward, planning to make a run for it, but stopped again when the man spoke.

“So, when were you planning on saying ‘hello,’ Takashi? This is the third time I’ve seen you.”

Keith couldn’t help it. He lifted his head to peer into the room. Shiro had looked up, his mouth agape and the little color he’d had drained from his face. The man was leaning against the doorframe, his hand clenched on the handle of his cane.

“Adam,” Shiro said, his voice hushed, reverent. Keith almost hadn’t heard it; wouldn’t have heard any of it if the door had been closed.

Adam’s lips twisted into a shadow of a smile. “You do remember. I was beginning to think you’d forgotten as easily as you left.”

“What? No, that—Adam, I _never_ forgot.”

“You could have fooled me.”

Shiro bowed his head again, his brows knitted as he stared into his tea. “I was going to say hello—I was outside your classroom, but then I—” His lips pursed, fingers twitching on his mug. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me.”

Frustration flickered across Adam’s face, but then he schooled his expression, his hazel eyes calmly trained on Shiro. “You’re right. Why would I want that?” he asked with an arch of his brow. “Why would I want to know how you are? Why, after mourning you _twice_ would I want to hear your voice? Want to see you? Why would I possibly want to ensure you’re really here and that my mind isn’t playing some cruel joke on me for the 700 th fucking time? Why would I _ever_ want that, Takashi? Please tell me because that’s something I _would_ like to hear.”

Keith nearly fell over, having to grasp the windowsill to catch his balance. He quickly let go, afraid his fingers would be visible, and then glanced up again, his mouth rather dry.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro murmured. He hadn’t lifted his head.

“I’m sure you are.” Adam pushed his glasses further up on his nose. “Better to act and ask forgiveness later, right? Never mind how your actions might affect others.”

“I needed to do it, Adam. I needed to go, for me.”

“I’m aware,” he said briskly, and then looked away. “I just—” he cleared his throat “—I just would have liked some acknowledgement upon your return that I was ever once important to you.” Adam peeked sideways at Shiro, his eyes glossy and his face creased with hurt. “A ‘hello’ would have sufficed.”

Shiro faltered, and Keith sucked in a breath, forcing himself to leave as he hurried away in an awkward half-crouch. He shouldn’t have seen that; shouldn’t have eavesdropped. It was intensely personal, and he shouldn’t have seen it. How was he supposed to act natural around Shiro now? How was he supposed to pretend he hadn’t seen it? To not whack him over the head for avoiding Adam in the first place? He’d made it so much worse. He could have at least learned from Keith’s mistakes doing the same with—

Oh, shit. _Lance!_ What time was it?

Keith broke into a run, heart thrumming and his Garrison boots slipping on the waxen floors. He skidded to a slow as he rounded a corner and then bolted down that hallway too. By the time Keith had raced up an additional three flights of stairs he was winded, leg muscles groaning from the effort.

He allowed himself a minute to catch his breath, one hand resting on the wall as he read a sign that said, “Roof Access—Authorized Personnel Only.” Ignoring it, Keith pushed a button on the keypad, unsurprised when the sealed metallic doors slid open. Students had discovered years ago that the sign was only a decorative warning. This, at least, hadn’t changed.

He stepped into the night, eyes roving over the rooftop. At first, Keith thought Lance hadn’t yet arrived, but then he saw him, sitting at the end of a row of solar panels. He was leaning back on his hands, long legs stretched out and his head tipped toward the heavens. It reminded Keith of finding him on that molten planet, only there was no firestorm, no suffocating heat; only the curving expanse of the particle barrier and a cool, desert wind. As on that strange planet, Lance didn’t look at ease, his mouth set, his brow creased, and his broad shoulders tense.

They should have been able to see the stars.

“Hey,” he said softly. Lance looked over his shoulder. His eyes brightened when they met Keith’s, his lips stretching into a handsome smile that made Keith feel as though the sun was rising, its heat kissing his cheeks. He marveled at the transformation, stunned anyone could have that reaction to seeing him.

“Hey there,” Lance chirped. He sat up and pulled his legs into a crisscrossed position. “Come have a seat. I’ve scoped out the softest slab of concrete.” Lance gestured grandly at the open space on his left. The corner of Keith’s mouth twitched up in amusement. He took the offered seat, mirroring his posture, and then blinked when Lance handed him a lidded coffee cup.

“It’s decaf,” he said, as if this was the root of Keith’s bewilderment. “Oh, and—” He reached beside him to retrieve something and then held out what looked to be a wrapped sandwich. “I figured you hadn’t eaten.” Keith wanted to argue but couldn’t when Lance was absolutely correct. His stomach was already growling in betrayal. He let out a breath and set down his coffee to accept it.

“I wanted to bring more,” Lance continued, his face falling some, “but we’re not supposed to take food from the cafeteria because they’re afraid of people hoarding it. Everything’s all rationed out, but I got what I could.” He shifted to reach into his pocket and pulled out a bundle of napkins. “Got these too,” he added, and then opened them to reveal a stack of cookies. They smelled like cinnamon. Lance set them down between them.

Keith felt his throat constrict. “Thank you,” he said croakily.

Lance pulled his knees halfway to his chest and hid his face in the crook of his arm. “It’s just a sandwich,” he mumbled.

It was so much more than a sandwich. His heart felt overly full. Keith loved him. He loved him so much. The realization hit him with the force of a train, leaving him lightheaded and delirious. He was so far gone; had the suspicion he had been for quite some time, Lance’s smiles and laughter often the only stabilizing force in the torrent of his worries and fears.

 _I love you_ , he thought. Frantically. Feverishly.

“Keeeeeeeeeeith,” Lance weakly complained, lifting his left arm to block the rest of his face. Keith flushed, realizing he was still staring. _Calm down._

“Sorry.” He looked down at his lap, unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite of it. Peanut butter and jelly. After spending so much time away from Earth the sweet stickiness felt strange, though still distantly familiar, like hearing a favorite song you hadn’t heard in years. He took a sip of his coffee to wash it down. It was warm and rich, with only a hint of sugar. Keith felt his throat squeeze again. It was exactly how he liked it.

Lance peeked sideways at him and then slowly relaxed, looking relieved he was no longer being gawked at. He picked up a cookie and nibbled at it, his eyes returning to the dimly glowing force field. A shadow passed over his face.

“I talked to Hunk,” Keith said.

“How is he?”

“He’s...hanging in there. We’re looking into infiltrating the prison camp. Maybe we’ll be able to get his family after all, or at least get a glimpse of them so he can see if they’re okay.”

“I want to free all of them,” Lance said quietly. “The lady I was talking to—the one who gave me the extra food for you, she said her only daughter’s in that prison camp. They’re all each other has. And the maintenance guy I was talking to? He hasn’t seen his wife in over a year—doesn’t even know if she’s still alive. It’s all so awful. I want to bring them all back.”

Keith frowned slightly. “You heard what they said. It’s too dangerous, and even if it wasn’t, the Garrison doesn’t have enough resources to take care of that many people.”

“Yeah, but...what if we could take over their supply lines too? What if we could take over the whole damn thing, but still make it seem like it’s under Galra control? We’d have access to all their resources, and we’d be able to get everyone out.” Lance turned to look at him. His eyes were steely, a blazing navy blue in the tenebrous light. “I think we could pull it off, Keith. I really do.”

He slid his gaze away and back to the particle barrier. It was certainly a thought. Sendak would eventually figure it out when he realized progress in the camp had halted, but by that point the prison would be evacuated; the Garrison’s supplies replenished, enough to buy them time. It was risky—a shot in the dark, but....

“We’ll look into it.”

“Wait, really?” Lance asked, his voice pitching up with surprise.

“Yes. If there’s a way to pull that off without losing more than we’d gain....” He trailed off, brows pinched, but the more he considered it, the more possible it seemed. “It’s a good idea,” he decided.

An odd expression crossed Lance’s face, as if part of him was certain Keith was playing a joke on him, but then he nodded, a tentative smile tilting his lips. “Okay, cool. We can bring it up in the meeting tomorrow, after we check out the MFEs.”

“Exactly,” Keith confirmed.

Lance’s smile broadened. He took another bite of his cookie, looking pleased with himself. Keith sipped from his coffee, still deep in thought. Part of him worried that if this were indeed possible, they would have done it already, but they had extra help now, new ideas. It could be the start of a critical turning point...and they could get Hunk’s family back. Anything less would feel insufficient.

They finished their food in a companionable silence, the only conversation being when Lance insisted Keith have the last cookie, arguing that he’d already eaten plenty since he’d actually gone to dinner. Keith hadn’t been able to counter that either, so he slowly chewed, the realization that he hadn’t yet brought up what’d he invited Lance here to discuss weighing on his mind. It seemed this had occurred to Lance as well because he waited, drinking his coffee and occasionally glancing over at him. It was all making it feel like a bigger deal than it was. He washed the rest of the cookie down with the last of his drink.

“So,” Lance said, setting down his empty cup too, “is this the part where I find out what I’m in trouble for?”

Keith sighed. “You’re not in trouble,” he told him again. “I just figured we should talk about what happened out there—when we were stranded in space.”

“Ah....” Though Lance’s tone was playful, he’d gone rather stiff, his smile no longer reaching his eyes. “What about it?”

“Well, what you said...about me running away,” he began haltingly. “It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard you say that. When we were leaving the planet where we fought the Druid, you said—you said it was what I do best. Run.” Keith cleared his throat, wishing he had something more to eat or drink if only to have something to do with his hands. As it was, he tugged at the sleeve of his uniform. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but you should know...when I left...I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I—I know that, Keith. I mean, it sucked when you left, which is maybe why I keep like, bringing it up when I’m mad, but...I know.” Lance reached up to rub the back of his neck. “You liked the work the Blades were doing a lot more than the flashy shows Voltron was putting on. You wanted to learn more about what it meant to be Galra, to learn more about your family—and you did. You met your mom and that’s amazing—she’s amazing. It felt like the right step for you. I get it.”

Keith nodded, admittedly surprised that Lance understood this. “Right,” he said. “Plus, it solved the problem that you came to me about.”

Lance narrowed his eyes, a frown pulling at his mouth. “What problem?” he asked.

_Did he really not remember?_

Keith frowned too. “You know—” he held up his hands, leaving all his fingers up on one, and only his pinky up on the other “—one paladin too many.”

Lance recoiled as if he’d slapped him, his eyes wide and his mouth falling open. He hastily snapped it shut, shaking his head. “No,” he muttered. “No. You—you didn’t—”

“What are you talking about? Didn’t what? I—"

“Is that why you told me to stop worrying about who flies what and focus on my missions?” he cut in, incredulous. “Why you said things would work themselves out? Were you planning it all along?”

Keith faltered, feeling like the ground was disappearing beneath him. “I mean, not all along, but when the opportunity presented itself....” He roughly ran a hand through his hair. “Look, Lance, you loved the team. You loved being part of team. I didn’t feel like I belonged. It made the most sense!”

To his surprise, Lance surged to his feet and rounded on him, his face livid and his eyes flashing. “Oh, yeah?” he spat. “Well, when you left, _I_ didn’t feel like I belonged! I was a 7th fucking wheel! _You_ were the one who made me feel like I belonged. You were the one who made me feel like maybe I did deserve a place on the team. You listened to me, and you were there for me! You were always at my side and when you left it was like—I was—”

His voice broke, and Keith watched in panicked horror as Lance moved as if to storm away, but he halted mid-step, half turned to him, face partially hidden in shadow. “We needed you,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I needed you.”

“I thought—I thought you said you understood! I had to—”

“No, you didn’t,” Lance stated, his words clipped short. “You didn’t have to, but you felt you needed to, and I do understand that, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t fucking hurt. You didn’t even _talk_ to me about it. You just kept disappearing and brushing me off—brushing us all off, and then—” He groaned in frustration, looking up and then dropping his head to pinch the bridge of his nose. “It’s one thing to know you left because you felt you’d found a place in the Blades, but to know that you left because of _me_....”

“It wasn’t only that!” Keith growled, rising to his feet too. “It just worked out that way! It made _sense_. I could do missions with the Blade—learn more about myself—and you could stay with the team, which I know you love being a part of! I wanted—I wanted you to be _happy_ , Lance...but you weren’t,” he said, crestfallen. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would matter. I didn’t....” Keith hesitated, lowering his gaze. “I didn’t know I meant that much to you.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us,” Lance mumbled, folding his arms across his chest. “I didn’t know until you were gone, and nothing felt the same anymore. Nothing felt _right_. And then you came back, and I was so fucking happy, but then you—I mean—"

“I pulled away,” Keith realized, his head shooting up and his eyes widening. “I pulled away—shit, Lance, I’m sorry. I really am. I just...I saw you with Allura and I—” He stopped, strangled, realizing what he’d been about to say; what he’d been about to reveal. His pulse was speeding, making him dizzy.

“It won’t happen again,” he bit out, clenching his fists. “I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to pull away anymore. I like being part of the team and I want this—us...being friends....” _Coward_. Keith grimaced. “I want this.”

Lance finally turned to look at him, his expression uncertain. There was something else there too that Keith couldn’t read, but it had his stomach lurching, had his hands growing sweaty.

“You have it,” he said. “You have me. You always have.”

And...were they...still talking about being friends? Keith’s mouth felt as dry as if it’d been stuffed with cotton. His legs were shaking. Lance was suddenly so near. Keith had to tilt his head down to avoid his eyes. He wasn’t used to that—being of a height with him. He was used to having to glance up, to lift his chin. How was it being taller could feel so intimidating?

“Keith,” Lance breathed, “I—”

The roof access doors slid open, causing them both to turn in the direction of the sound. A security guard walked out into the light. He seemed to recognize them because his bushy brows lifted in astonishment when he saw them.

“Sorry about this, but you aren’t really supposed to be on the roof,” he said, rocking back on the balls of his heels.

“We were scouting the perimeter, learning the grounds better,” Keith said, his voice surprisingly steady.

“Ah,” he said, scratching his head. “Well, I’d say carry on, but I’ve actually got to lock this door for the night.”

“No problem,” Lance said with a strained smile.

They gathered their empty coffee cups and balled up napkins before walking past the security guard and down the flight of stairs. Their conversation had petered out, replaced by an awkwardness that prickled the back of Keith’s neck. They found a garbage bin at the foot of the stairs where they disposed of their trash, and then made their way through the meandering hallways. By unspoken agreement, they’d headed toward their assigned sleeping quarters. He could at times feel Lance’s eyes on his face, but he didn’t know what to say and nor, it seemed, did he.

Keith slowed as he reached his room. Lance slowed too, worrying his lip.

“I’m around the corner,” he said.

“Okay, uh...good night,” Keith stammered. He bowed his head and turned to push the keypad to gain access to his room, but Lance caught his hand, spinning him back around. What had to be a dozen sparklers ignited in his stomach, a sensation multiplied a hundred times when Lance leaned in, and kissed him on the cheek. It was whisper soft, the ocean brushing against the sun-warmed shore. Keith made a short sound in his throat. Lance murmured his name, lowered his mouth to his ear.

“There is no Allura and I,” he said quietly, nervously, and then pulled away as swiftly as he’d neared. “Good night.”

Keith stood frozen, dazed, mouth slightly parted and his heart stumbling. He lifted his fingers to his cheek as if in a trance. Lance had gone, slipped away as easily as water through his hands, but the place his lips had touched was as warm as the embers that ignited in his chest.

_You have it._

_You have me._

_You always have._

~*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PERHAPS I’M SQUEALING WHAT ABOUT IT? I’ve got enough Klangst to last me a lifetime what with S8 a few days away, so I needed some fluff this chapter, some spun sugar, some softness, fjfhdfgdgfdsjf. Regardless how the season unfolds, Klance will always be canon in our hearts, okay?! Nothing can take that away from us. We’ll only see if its canon in the show too...and jeez won't it be so freaking powerful and MEANINGFUL if it is.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as I definitely enjoyed writing it, even if did take me forever and a day, lol. Also, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ADAM AND SHIRO. I didn’t bring Adam back from the dead to give them another tragic ending. Right now, Adam is just rightfully hurt, and Shiro is, well, acting like a man kicked before he’s down, but these aren’t permanent states! I’ll be sneaking in little snippets of their relationship progressing as I continue.
> 
> Thank you as always for reading, and please, please, please don’t hesitate to comment! I know I always say I’m dying to hear what you all think, but I’M DYING TO HEAR WHAT YOU ALL THINK SAVE ME PLEASE I’M DFHJFDKHFSFKFDFSJ.
> 
> See you on the other side of S8! It's been an honor flying with you all.


	12. Anchor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes...that was the longest I’ve ever gone without updating! I'm so sorry! I went on a road trip for the holidays and when I returned I was completely out of the writing mindset and couldn’t get back into it for the life of me. So yeah, this might be a bit rusty, but I pushed through it the best I could.
> 
> On that note, I struggled so much to write this that I end up chopping this chapter in HALF because although the second part is already outlined, I’ve worked on this first half for so long and you’ve all waited for so long that I decided to go ahead and split it. So, it’s half the size of the previous chapter and only from Lance’s point of view, but I feel it kind of works out because this half focuses on relationships while the second half has relationship stuff, but focuses more on official battle for Earth mission stuff.
> 
> Lastly, there’s Spanish in this chapter again, but as before I’ve included the translations within the text in italics. There is one phrase I had to explain, so I did that in brackets. Also, Lance’s nickname for Rachel is “Raque,” which comes from the Spanish variation of Rachel, “Raquel.” As I said before, Spanish is my second language and my proofreader knows Mexican Spanish, not Cuban, so if you come across any errors or things that sound unnatural, let me know!
> 
> Thank you as always for your patience and support—the fact that you’re still here and interested in my story makes my heart feel SO full. Happy reading!

Florescent lights cast the cafeteria in stark relief—steel walls with matching tables and matching floors, plastic trays and plastic mugs scratched from overuse. The din of clanking silverware and morning conversations filtered through the space, present but not nearly loud enough to distract from myriad watching eyes. Most were solely curious, others questioning or hopeful. Once, Lance might have reveled in the attention. Might have grinned, shot playful finger guns, and winked. Now, he wished he could transform into something inconspicuous. A chair, perhaps, or a napkin dispenser. Anything too common to be given further consideration. Anything not turned to for the promise of salvation.

Voltron was the last remaining thread of hope amidst a tangle of fear and the omnipresent threat of failure. It was the narrative they’d all been told. The Paladins’ arrival heralded new beginnings—the prospect of freedom and restoration.

Never mind that these selected five had barely grazed adulthood. Never mind that they were tired, battered, and bruised. There was no room for hesitation, no room for rest. When one stopped treading water, they drowned.

Lance dragged his focus back to his porridge, which had congealed from lack of attention. It was overcooked, the oats singed and clumpy, made only palatable by an allotted spoonful of sugar. Still, he ate. He’d had worse, and it was all they had until their next measured meal.

He washed down the mouthful with a swallow of coffee and surveyed his surroundings, eyes roving over dropped gazes and tense faces. His leg bounced of its own accord, his pulse resonating with the hum of the electric lights overhead. He hadn’t seen Keith yet. He’d probably already eaten, rising with the sun and wandering who knows where.

 _The roof_ , his mind supplied. _Or a walk around the base._ Keith would want to gain his bearings in quiet before facing the crowded agenda ahead. Lance took another bite and felt his stomach churn.

He shouldn’t have kissed him.

It was only a kiss on the cheek and Keith had shown signs he was interested, but still, he shouldn’t have because what if he’d misread? What if Keith had only mentioned Allura because he was jealous of their growing friendship? What if, when Keith had looked at him with blazing eyes and told him that he wanted this, he really had meant being friends and not something more? Something suggested by the press of Keith’s fingers against the small of his back, by Keith’s hand sliding into his, by Keith’s open stares as they sat on the rooftop, unsaid words so heavy Lance feared he’d be crushed.

His actions seemed to say that Lance’s feelings were returned, which was why, despite his mounting fears, he’d dared to take a chance. Why he’d told Keith that there was nothing between Allura and him. Why he’d leaned in to press a kiss to Keith’s blush-warmed cheek.

Lance’s heart fluttered at the memory, and for a moment he marveled at how such fleeting contact could make his soul feel as though it’d been lifted above the sea—lifted above the churning ocean of his mind and into a soft, summer breeze.

Keith had melted, had made a devastating sound in his throat, but like a coward Lance had fled before he could see what emotions followed those pretty widened eyes and pink parted lips.

He’d tossed and turned throughout the night, replaying their interactions on an agonizing loop, stressing over whether he’d been right to take a leap. Lance had never reached an answer, and when dawn announced its unwelcomed arrival, he’d felt more exhausted than before he’d succumbed to sleep.

Earth’s fate rested in the Paladins’ hands, and Lance was concerned with whose hand was holding his.

Stupid, stupid—

“Hey, stranger.”

Lance startled, spoon falling to the table with a clatter as his hand jumped to his hip for a bayard that wasn’t there. For a second—maybe a minute, he couldn’t tell—he remained frozen, knocked out of alignment by his unexpected reaction, but then a tray appeared in front of his, and the hard sound of plastic against metal knocked him back into it. He looked up to see a mess of curly hair, brown skin, and blue eyes the same shade as his—Rachel.

She sat across from him, brows crumpled and what was likely an apology springing to her lips, so Lance cut her off with a hasty, “Hey, Raque. Last one up?” He forced a smile and retrieved his spoon, ignoring the rampant beating of his heart.

Rachel stopped in the middle of forming her reply, her train of thought interrupted. She closed her mouth and then restarted her response, “Nah, that’d be Marco. Honestly, we’d both still be asleep, but you know, Abuelita.” She lifted her mug to her lips and in her best impersonation of their grandmother intoned, “¡Camarón que se duerme se lo lleva la corriente!” _[Literally, “The shrimp that sleeps gets carried off by the current,” but this would be the rough equivalent of the English proverb, “The early bird gets the worm” or “You snooze, you lose.”]_

Lance laughed, remembering way too many mornings when Abuelita would recite this while tearing the covers off their beds. He’d usually curl up in a ball and try to go back to sleep, roused only by the smells of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. Homemade bread, freshly sliced fruit, café con leche, croquetas de queso y jamón. It felt like so long ago.

“You okay?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah, just...lost in thought, I guess.”

“I imagine so.” She blew softly across the steaming surface of her coffee. “I’ve got a message for you, by the way. From Keith.”

“Oh, uh, you do?” He grimaced at the crack in his voice. “What’d he say?”

“He asked if you could show up early to the meeting, even it’s only 15 minutes. He’d like to go over some things with you.”

“Did he seem mad?” Lance asked before he could help himself.

Rachel frowned. “No. Maybe a little nervous though. Why?”

“No reason.” He looked down and shoveled two spoonfuls of oatmeal into his mouth.

His sister hummed and took a sip of her coffee. Lance figured that was the end of that, but then she absently said, “Keith...he’s the same Keith you were always trying to catch up to in school, right?”

“Uh....”

A smile turned up the corner of her mouth. “I remember you’d get so mad when he’d beat you at an award or score higher than you on a simulation. It was always the first thing you’d bring up on the phone,” she recalled. Rachel beamed then, pride illuminated in her smile and in her eyes. “Looks like you’ve caught up.”

Lance released a startled laugh, already shaking his head in protest. “No, Keith, he’s—he’s the Black Paladin! Leader of Voltron, legendary defender,” he announced with an epic flourish of his hands.

“Plus, he’s a member of the Blade of Marmora, which is like, this elite group of resistance fighters against the Galra Empire. Heck, he even travelled through the quantum abyss and came out of it alive and with a cosmic wolf friend of all things! He’s...he’s unreachable,” Lance finished, feeling his shoulders droop.

“And yet,” Rachel said, peering at him over the rim of her coffee, “here you stand beside him. The right-hand of Voltron and, if I’m not mistaken, a dear friend who he sees as his equal.” She set her mug down and gave him a reassuring smile. “He said he couldn’t have done this without you.”

Lance reached for his own coffee, taking an extended drink to buy himself time before he had to respond. Heat had blossomed onto his cheeks and ears.

“He’s a good influence on you, I think,” she added thoughtfully.

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered, “if guys with knives are good influences.”

Rachel laughed, a rich, ringing sound like that of a marimba. “Sounds like there’s more to him than I’m aware of.”

“Yeah,” Lance said quietly. He lowered his mug to the table with both hands, but didn’t let go, aware that his fingers had begun to shake. “He’s—and I.... I actually—”

He could tell her. He could tell her everything; wanted to so badly. Because while Veronica was racing down the beach, late night study sessions and pushes whenever he felt like giving up, Rachel was mugs of hot chocolate with churros, dancing in the kitchen with socked feet to Celia Cruz, and lying in a nest of blankets chatting through the night. She was chill, carefree, a calming breath of wind.

He used to tell her everything.

He wanted to now too—didn’t know why he was hesitating.

Rachel would listen. She wouldn’t judge. It would be almost easy—a familiar routine.

_I really like Keith. Like, as more than a friend because yeah, I’m bisexual? And maybe that’s surprising, but I’ve kind of known for a while. I’ve just been too afraid to say it. And uh, well, I think he likes me too? I think he does, but I’m not sure which kind of makes the fact that I kissed him on the cheek a really terrifying thing. I’m scared I might have messed things up, and I need you to tell me it’s going to be okay._

The words were there, fully formed, but they evaporated like drops of water on a hot skillet when Veronica appeared, dropping onto the bench beside him and ruffling up his hair. “Hola, herrrrrrmanito,” she greeted, playfully rolling the ‘r.’ “I saw tu novia on the way here.”

“¿Tienes una novia?” Rachel asked, her dark brows lifting. _You have a girlfriend?_

“No!” Lance exclaimed, his face aflame. He smoothed down his hair and shot a glare in Veronica’s direction. “Solo somos amigos. ¿Cuantás veces tengo que decirlo?” _We’re just friends. How many times do I have say it?_

Veronica smirked like the cat who caught the canary and glanced sideways at Rachel. “Está en un estado de rechazo,” she said matter-of-factly. _He’s in a state of denial._

“¡Tú estás en un estado de rechazo!” _You’re in a state of denial!_

“Tranquilo,” Rachel soothed, holding up her hands. _Relax._ “Who’re we even talking about here?”

“No one,” Lance hastily said, while Veronica peered through her lashes and cooed, “La Princesa, claro.”

“Damn, Lance has his eye on the Princess?” Marco’s raucous voice suddenly sounded from above. He took a seat next to Rachel, plopping his tray down and sending a wink in his direction. “Better get on that before someone else snatches her up.”

Rachel made a sound of disgust. “Don’t be gross.”

“What?” Marco asked around a mouthful of porridge, so it sounded more like ‘ _wuh_.’ He swallowed and then pointed at Lance with the end of his spoon. “He knows what I mean.”

Lance rose to his feet, grabbing his tray so roughly his mug toppled over, the last dregs of coffee spilling across its surface. Heat crept up the back of his neck when he realized what he’d done. His siblings stared up at him with eyes round and mouths agape.

“I’ve gotta go,” he mumbled, only Lance heard the words as if they’d been uttered by someone else. His body moved on autopilot, making him feel simultaneously like he was two people, and no one at all. He spun on his heel.

“Lance—”

“I’ll see you guys later.”

Lance pushed his tray into the revolving return rack and left, not looking back. He felt torn between breaking something or bursting into angry tears. It didn’t help that he’d barely slept, that his every nerve was taut and frayed.

It didn’t help that he apparently wasn’t the person his family expected him to be.

He wasn’t the one they’d waited for, the one they had missed. The one who told Rachel everything and took Veronica’s teasing in stride; the one who followed along with Marco because he thought he was cool and wanted to be just like him.

He wasn’t the boy they’d printed on posters and pushed under noses as they asked if they’d seen him and prayed for a “ _Yes_.” The boy who’d caused them sleepless nights and wiped dirt from cave etchings, blue light and awe reflecting in his eyes as they beautifully burst into life. The boy they’d swarmed the Garrison for, demanding answers and receiving lies.

“ _They claimed you’d run away_ ,” his mother had told him, her hands clasping his as if they were a mooring in a storm. “ _I told them you would never—not my baby, not my boy. When we saw your video, the one Commander Holt broadcasted, we knew we were right. We never lost hope._ ”

Lance had stammered apologies, Band-Aids on gaping wounds, and Mamá had hugged him as if he’d never hurt her at all. As if he wasn’t the cause of the shadows in her eyes, of the new wrinkles on her face and her too-tight grip.

He’d returned home, but not the boy they expected.

Lance wasn’t sure when he’d ceased being that boy; wasn’t sure who he was now.

He wasn’t the mooring, or even the storm. He was the boat set adrift.

Lance sighed and slumped against the wall, his back pressing into cold metal as he ran a hand through his hair. He needed to rein in his thoughts, had let them stretch out way too far. He shut his eyes, trying to visualize pulling them back, trying to coax his muscles to relax, but he was too keyed up, drowning and unable to find his way up. There was only so much one could contain before it all spilled over and you slipped in the mess.

“Lance?”

The Red Paladin flinched, though shouldn’t have felt surprised. Somehow it made sense that when he least wanted company, the one person who threw his mind into the most chaos would be the one to run into him before he was ready.

Lance pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I got your message,” he mumbled. “Just...could we talk later?”

Keith was silent for so long that Lance risked a glance at him. His arms were folded across his chest, windswept hair falling into his face, though not quite hiding his furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. The belt on his Garrison uniform was askew, his jacket bunched up around it. Lance slipped his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out to fix it.

“We won’t have the time,” Keith said, his voice even. “It’d be better if we talked now.”

Lance snorted, casting his gaze up to the ceiling. “Is that an order?”

Keith drew a barely perceptible breath, but it was sharp enough that Lance felt guilt roll hot through his stomach, his heart buckling beneath the sudden contraction of his chest. A quick glance revealed a trace of pain flicker across Keith’s face.

“Sorry,” he said, the word rushing from him with the force of a punch. “Sorry, sorry. It’s not—it’s not you, okay? I mean, it’s kind of you, like part of it, but it’s nothing you did. It’s on me. It’s all on me and I’m taking it on you and—” Jeez, he was babbling. He was babbling badly. “Fuck. Sorry.”

Keith hesitated, his brows drawn inward with uncertainty. He peeked his tongue out to wet his lips. “It’s...kind of me?”

“W-well not _you_ you,” he said, gesturing vaguely. “There’s nothing wrong with y—” Lance cut himself off, making a choked sort of noise. “It’s—I mean—” Keith frowned, and Lance felt his heart sink. Why was this so difficult? His hands were shaking at his sides.

“Are we good?” he finally managed to ask. “Like, you and me. Are we...okay?”

Keith’s expression softened. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“O-oh, okay. Um, that’s—well, that’s good. That’s really good. That’s, yeah. That’s—”

“Lance,” Keith interjected, taking a half step forward, “what’s wrong?”

“I...”

_I don’t know where to start._

Lance opened his mouth to say as much, but snapped it shut as a crowd of voices entered their field of hearing. Keith uttered a curse and grabbed Lance’s hand, pulling him around the corner and down the connecting hall. The gesture both calmed and kindled his heart, leaving Lance gasping and as warm as if he’d opened an oven, the feeling radiating from his core to the outermost aspects of his being.

He was acutely aware of the feel of Keith’s hand, rough fingers and palms so soft, Lance had to bite his lip to keep from kissing them too. His pulse quickened, additional warmth stealing over his face.

Keith led Lance through a door and released his hand to shut it behind them. The lights flickered on, sensing their presence.

They’d stumbled upon an unoccupied classroom. A schematic of a fighter jet had been roughly sketched on the board, the major parts labeled in an equally messy scrawl. Every desk was lined up meticulously, the back walls crowded with bookshelves filled with various texts. There were a few succulents perched on the windowsill and students’ work decorating the storage cabinet doors. On the teacher’s desk was a vase with a single purple hyacinth, a folded over piece of paper tucked within its leaves.

“Sorry,” Keith mumbled, pulling Lance’s attention from the flower. He was fiddling with the sleeve of his uniform, his eyes downcast.

Lance slowly shook his head. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“For what?”

“Kissing you?” Keith’s gaze lifted, and Lance had to look away, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he trained his focus out the window instead.

“I should have asked. Or maybe shouldn’t have done it at all. I didn’t think it through and I’m sorry if it freaked you out, or if you thought it was weird.” Lance’s eyes grew hot, his throat in danger of closing. “We uh, we can pretend it never happened, you know? I’m kind of good at that.”

Keith moved so he was standing beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, Lance could see that he was looking out the window too. The particle barrier glowed orange and unchanging in the distance.

“I didn’t think it was weird,” Keith said quietly.

“You didn’t?”

He shook his head. “No. I was just surprised...and wondered...what you meant by it? Because you and your family...well, you sometimes greet people like that, so....” Keith trailed off awkwardly.

Lance blinked, thoroughly caught off-guard. He thought it’d been...a cultural thing? That...god, that was so _Keith_ that Lance felt a smile tug at his lips, a swell of affection making his heart feel like it was floating.

It was then that he realized Keith had given him an out.

It would be easy to say that was it, even if it didn’t make much sense because Lance didn’t go around accidentally kissing people. It wouldn’t make sense, but it would work because apparently, Keith was ready to believe it.

They could move on. They could continue being good friends and Lance could even decide to be patient for Allura because she’d told him that maybe, given enough time, she could see herself falling in love with him.

_Oh...wow._

Allura had lifted her gaze to his amidst a field of flowering crystals and told him she could see herself falling in love with him. She’d told him that he deserved more than the suggestion of a possibility, that part of her was still in love with Lotor, but holy shit, the feelings were there. They were there, and she’d _told_ him this, and Lance....

Lance hadn’t even noticed.

He hadn’t noticed that the so-called woman of his dreams, the one he’d supposedly been in love with, had told him one day, she might come to love him too. He hadn’t noticed because his thoughts had already been consumed by the return of another, and Allura had seen this too, seen it before Lance had even seen it himself.

Seen it? Acknowledged it?

He’d offered his heart to him so long ago. It hadn’t worked out. Keith had rejected him, and he’d tried to snatch his heart back, but no matter how hard he tried to deny and extinguish it, there’d always been this stubborn candle of hope. Lance had tried to pretend this wasn’t true too, but for all his pretending, he’d never made it reality.

He'd told Keith that he’d always had him, but hadn’t realized until now how fiercely true those words had been.

Lance loved him. He loved him so much. And god, this never worked out for him—hadn’t fucking worked out the first time, but....

“We uh, we do,” he confirmed, “but not...not like _that_.” Not lingering lips on heated skin and murmured words into one’s ear. Not the feeling that swept through him now, burning, but not destroying—like a phoenix, restoring.

This was where he was always meant to be.

Keith’s cheeks had turned an endearing cherry blossom pink.

“I like you,” Lance whispered, his body trembling. “I like you a lot,” he barreled on, “and if you don’t feel the same, that’s okay and we can totally forget this conversation ever happened. I just—”

“I like you too.”

“—want to make sure we stay friends, you know? Because you really do mean a lot to me, like so much, and the last thing I want to do is—”

“Lance,” Keith cut in, his voice sounding oddly breathless, “did you hear what I said?”

“You....” Lance stilled, his lips parting and his eyes welling rapidly with tears. “Wait! Wait, wait, wait—” He stepped in front of Keith, dizzy with clumsy, half-completed thoughts. “When I say _like_ , I mean _like_ like—like—like—” Lance groaned in frustration and grabbed Keith’s hand, placing it on his chest and over his humming heart.

Keith stared, widened eyes sparkling like the starry evening sky. After a silent, infinitesimal beat, he dropped his gaze, a slow smirk curving his lips. He reached out to take Lance’s free hand with his and settled it over his heart in return.

“Like that?” Keith asked, peering up through his bangs.

Lance flushed, fingers curling beneath his as he pressed his palm down. His breath hitched when he felt it: Keith’s heartbeat—steady, strong, and _swift._ A hot tear slid down his cheek. It caught in the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah,” he croaked, dumbfounded, awed. “Something like that.”

Keith smiled, fully smiled, white teeth and crinkled eyes and Lance forgot how to breathe, the sight so unexpected and rare. More tears fell down his face and he ducked his head, shoulders hunching as an unbidden sob pushed past his lips.

This never happened. This never worked out. Despite wanting it so badly, he’d never told someone he liked them and heard, “ _I like you too._ ” He’d never heard it, and Keith had said it, and suddenly everything he’d held back since hearing that awful distress call from Pidge’s father surged forward like a deluge, smashing him to pieces despite being swathed in one of the sweetest moments of his life.

Lance tried to pull away because he _hated_ people seeing him cry, but Keith caught him by the wrist, brows furrowed with concern, so he hid his face in Keith’s shoulder instead, fingers tangling in his jacket as he sobbed. Keith’s hands came up to hold him, awkward at first, but finally settling on his back and the nape of his neck. He felt stupid, almost escaped again, but Keith kept him near, tightening his grip, and Lance didn’t want to fight anymore.

He didn’t want to fight to hide that he was stressed, that he couldn’t sleep, that seeing Earth invaded had broken something critical within him. He didn’t want to fight to hide that he was anxious about how he fit in with his family now and if telling them he liked guys too would somehow make that worse.

He didn’t want to, or maybe couldn’t, so he cried—broke down even though he knew he needed to stand tall. God, he felt so _stupid._ Hunk didn’t even _have_ his family. Earth was _depending_ on him, on Voltron, and he was sobbing in a classroom like a child.

 “Breathe,” he heard Keith say, and wondered if it was the first time he’d said it, or the first time he’d heard it. Either way, Lance tried, drawing in shaky breaths that he tried his best to even out.

“’m sorry,” he rasped. “’m so sorry.” Keith slipped his fingers into Lance’s hair, scratching lightly. He had the feeling it was something he did to comfort Kosmo, but it seemed to be working for him too.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Ruined everything,” Lance mumbled. “We should’ve been passionately making out.”

A soft chuckle reached his ears, causing him to shiver. “Nothing could ruin this.” Lance let out a doubtful whine and tensed in surprise when Keith pressed a quick kiss to the side of his head.

“Seriously,” he continued. “Someone could come in now and deck me and my last thought before I lose consciousness would be, ‘Eh, at least Lance likes me back.’”

Lance laughed, a choked sort of miserable sound muffled by Keith’s shoulder, but a laugh nonetheless. “God, I like you so much,” he whispered.

“Me too, Lance. I like you so much too.”

He drew away to dry his face with the end of his sleeve. Keith watched him, his expression wary. Lance couldn’t blame him. He’d probably be pretty freaked out too.

“Sorry,” he muttered again.

“Don’t be. It’s okay.” Keith worried his lip and then cautiously asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m just...stressed. About a lot of things, but...this whole thing with Earth is right at the top.” Lance crossed his arms over his chest, looking away. “I’m afraid we’ll fail, you know? That this time, we’ll lose.”

“I am too,” he confessed, “but we’ve done this before. It—it doesn’t feel the same, I know, because it’s Earth, but we’ve liberated other planets before. We can do this. Together. We _have_.”

Lance nodded, feeling his throat squeeze again. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just—” He stopped short as Keith cupped his face in his hands, the gesture unexpectedly tender. They locked eyes, and Lance slowly unfolded his arms.

“One way or another, it’s going to be okay,” Keith asserted, his eyes bright.

Renewed tears slipped down Lance’s cheeks. He leaned forward to press his forehead against his. Keith sucked in a breath, closing his eyes, and Lance couldn’t help but smile at the sound as he allowed his eyes to close too. Their noses touched, and he realized that with the slightest lift of his head, he could kiss him. He wanted to, had the impression that Keith may have even been waiting for him to, but he hesitated, knowing he had to ask something first—had to make sure he’d be okay with what Lance needed this to be.

“Keith?”

“Lance?”

He bit back a sigh. “Would it be okay if we kept this between us for a while?”

Keith pulled back some, and Lance reluctantly opened his eyes to meet his. “What do you mean?”

“Like...keep it secret. Just for a little. We—we already have all these eyes on us, you know? It’d be extra attention and like, not the good kind. They might accuse us of being distracted or not taking this seriously enough or something. Plus—” Lance lowered his head, staring down at his boots. “I’d uh...like to—to talk to my family first? They don’t actually know that I’m uh, even into guys and I mean, I doubt it’ll be a problem or anything. I’d just feel better if I could—could talk to them first, so....”

“Okay.”

Lance looked up, his eyes widening some. “Yeah? You’re sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah, it’s...it’s probably for the best. We’ve got enough to worry about as it is, and if you need to talk to your family, then you should get to do that...whenever you’re ready.” Keith cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. “It is temporary though, right?”

“Yeah,” Lance confirmed. “I promise. I—I want to show you off to the world,” he added with a smile.

Keith snorted, but a smile graced his lips too. “Then, I’m sure.”

Feeling grateful, he reached out to fix Keith’s uniform, which thanks to him, had gotten more tousled than ever. Keith blushed, but there was a gleam in his indigo eyes as he added, “Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re going to have harder time keeping it a secret than me.”

“I am not!” he stated indignantly.

“You are,” Keith insisted, a playful lilt to his words. “You know why?”

Lance bit back a smile, having not seen this side of the Black Paladin in a while. He slid his finger beneath Keith’s belt to shift it and then, humoring him, asked, “Why?”

Keith leaned in close with a smirk, causing Lance to freeze. “You won’t be able to keep your hands off me.”

“What?!” Lance squawked, heat blooming on his cheeks. “That—Hey! This doesn’t count! We’re alone and you were wrinkled! I was helping you!”

“Oh, is that what people call it nowadays? I’m out of touch.”

Lance giggled unwillingly, taking back his hands. “Oh my god, stop.”

“Stop what?” Keith asked with an arch of his brow, barely concealing a smile. “Come on, we have a meeting to attend,” he said, walking backward toward the door.

Lance followed him. “Yeah, a meeting about how you’re going to LOSE! You won’t be able to resist this, baby!”

Keith crashed into a desk, his face crimson as Lance shrieked and doubled over laughing. He scrambled to push it back into place. Lance watched him, still laughing and admittedly confused because the agile paladin was hardly ever that clumsy. Well, confused until he’d realized what he’d said.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh,” he said knowingly, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Baby....” Keith slid the desk too far, and Lance burst out laughing again, entirely too delighted. “Baby, sugar plum, honey cakes!”

Keith sighed, making a beeline for the door. “Honey cakes? Really?”

“Príncipe de mis sueños! Mi corazón! Mi todo!” he shouted.

“What?” Keith glanced at him over his shoulder, one hand on the doorknob and his expression questioning.

Lance flushed but managed what he hoped was a flirty smile as he translated, “Prince of my dreams. My heart. My everything.”

“Jesus.”

“Not quite that, sweetheart.”

“Meeting! Now!”

Lance found he couldn’t stop giggling even after they’d stepped into the hallway, the occasional passersby giving him curious looks. Keith peered at him, and the brunet felt himself sober some at the liquid warmth in his gaze.

“You seem happier,” he noted softly.

“I am,” Lance said with a smile and a literal bounce in his step. “You _like_ me.”

Keith smiled too, slipping his hands into his pockets and bowing his head. “Yeah, I do.”

Lance’s smile brightened, his heart as warm and sweet as a cup of cocoa topped with fluffy marshmallows. It may not have solved everything, maybe solved nothing at all, but god, it _meant_ everything.

He’d said, _“I like you too.”_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *collapses* GAH, that was so difficult and I don't even know why!!!!!! I hope this isn't as rough as I feel like it is? I THINK I'VE JUST SPENT TOO MUCH TIME RE-WRITING AND SECOND GUESSING THIS PART. So, perhaps posting it was a good thing...I hope!
> 
> Please, please, pleaseeeeeeeeee don't hesitate to comment and let me know what you thought! Please? PLEASE, I'M DYING.
> 
> The next half/chapter is already fully outlined, so hopefully it won't be too much of a wait, but regardless, I hope this stands okay on its own and that you enjoyed it. Also, that classroom? Totally Adam's, and yes, Shiro did leave that flower!
> 
> Thank you as always for reading! Words will never be enough to convey how much it means to me <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can also catch me on my Voltron Tumblr @ [lilywritesvld](https://lilywritesvld.tumblr.com/)!


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